What would you do?

ahmommy
ahmommy Posts: 316 Member
edited December 2024 in Fitness and Exercise
This is semi-hypothetical in a sense that it happened a long time ago, so there's nothing to be done about it now. But I've been seeing the term "anorexic" on the boards a lot this morning and it made me think of this experience.

When I was in college, every time I'd go to the gym I'd see the same girl on the elliptical machine. I didn't stick to any real schedule, and I didn't routinely see the same people there, so my conclusion was that she was there a LOT, and always doing cardio. She was extremely thin, you could see her shoulder bones poking out, her arms and legs were skin and bones. She was not social and never made eye contact. She would be on the machine when I got there, and still on it when I left.

At the time I wondered if she had a disorder, and in retrospect I wonder if I could or should have approached her. But I don't know what I would have said that wouldn't have offended her.

If you saw someone at your gym like this, what would you do? Nothing? Try to strike up conversation? Notify a trainer or someone at the gym? Approach her (or him) out of the blue and come right out with your concern?

Replies

  • ITS_MY_CHOICE
    ITS_MY_CHOICE Posts: 62 Member
    I would say nothing. Its none of my business. Bringing up an issue the job of herself, her partner, her friends or family... not some random stranger in the gym.
  • deadbeatsummer
    deadbeatsummer Posts: 537 Member
    I think if you would have approached someone with a severe eating disorder and tried to 'out' them in a public place it would cause intense anxiety for that person and they may be afraid to come back to the gym in case someone saw them and thought the same as you.

    I have dealt with a lot of ED people before and this approaching her as a stranger would not have been helpful.
  • sho3girl
    sho3girl Posts: 10,799 Member
    no i wouldn't say anything.. to someone incredibliy tiny or large -- not my place and as a stranger they'd have every right to be incrediblity defensive


    a friend i was worried about it a completley different matter
  • deanna_bond
    deanna_bond Posts: 104 Member
    I would ask around if anyone knew her and hat is her story. I knew someone I worked with come in says size 0 is too fat! She came in the next weekend her whites of her eyes were completely red from strain (throwing up). I told her if she eats she wasnt allowed in the exercise room. She would binge then disaapears for 3 hours (treadmill and bathroom) The other girl I worked with confronted her cause SHE used to be that way and she knew the signs and was upset watching this girl do this. It made her cry and upset and we both told her she keeps doing it she is going to lose her job and we are telling her parents. She denied it all so we told her mom and forced her to see a doctor. Never knew what happened to her cause tghe place shut down where we wroked hopefully she did come out fo it.
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
    I would say nothing. Its none of my business. Bringing up an issue the job of herself, her partner, her friends or family... not some random stranger in the gym.

    I wholeheartedly agree.. none of my business. Its not my responsibility (nor anyone's) to inform this person of anything.

    Nor is it right to make an assumption that she/he is truly afflicted with anorexia. How do you know she is not recouperating from cancer? Ive had plenty of patients who just had the hardest time putting weight back on with the horrible side-effects of cancer treatments...
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