petite girls, does this happen to you?

So I was talking to my boss, who is almost 6 feet tall, has lost a lot of weight very successfully with weight watchers and kept it off and isn't ashamed to admit it/talk about it etc. I explained that really need to lose weight because I know I'm not healthy and I need to fix this while I can. I told her I need to lose about 40 lbs and she looked concerned! Then I told her I'm 5' 1" and 160 lbs. But I'm a size 6! Proof that I'm not supposed to be "big" - and her only response to those details was "you're a size 6 at that weight?!"

Its true. I have gotten this same reaction from friends. I hold my weight very well and at my best healthiest size I should actually be a size 2 to 3. But when you say those numbers to people who would look sick in them it seems to worry them more than anything else. its really kind of a bummer that they can't understand what "petite" really is and I'm just curious if this happens to any other would-be petites?
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Replies

  • Rayman79
    Rayman79 Posts: 2,009 Member
    It affects most of us actually! People can look very different at the same weight - for some it is a good thing (like you), for others its bad (like me) :tongue: . I used to be annoyed that my old gym buddy was heavier than me, had the same strength, yet looked 100X better... I guess he had very heavy kidneys or something :laugh:

    The bottom line is that people shouldn't get caught up in BS like using the BMI to determine your 'ideal' weight or judge themselves against others. Just be healthy, and get to a weight that YOU are happy with. Follow the visual cues more than the arbitrary number the scale gives you.
  • Ha ha! I don't know that its necessarily a good thing, maybe if I looked worse I'd have been motivated to take care of this problem sooner!

    But very true, thanks for confirming my philosophy.
    it seems deciding to change ones appearance drastically is a more interesting way to to find out how others see us than I ever imagined!
  • SherryTeach
    SherryTeach Posts: 2,836 Member
    At my heaviest, I was 136 pounds. at 5'1" I was wearing a size 10. I'm very eager to get back into my closetful of size 6 clothes.
  • Rayman79
    Rayman79 Posts: 2,009 Member
    ... it seems deciding to change ones appearance drastically is a more interesting way to to find out how others see us than I ever imagined!

    Very true, people's reaction when I tell them how much weight I've lost is still pretty priceless, and I've only lost a small amount compared to so many people here (~60lb).
  • essjay76
    essjay76 Posts: 465 Member
    Completely understandable. I'm 4'10" with a small frame, petite everything (shoulders, torso, legs) and when I was at my heaviest, I got that a lot. I was probably 125-130 pounds and wore a size 5 or 7 in juniors, which is average for most women.

    Now I am about 103 pounds, size 2 or 0 Petite (ladies) and a size 3 in juniors, and while some people might think that's super small, it's a good fit on me. People have to realize I'm not your average size female. That weight and size does not actually make me super thin at my height.
  • So I was talking to my boss, who is almost 6 feet tall, has lost a lot of weight very successfully with weight watchers and kept it off and isn't ashamed to admit it/talk about it etc. I explained that really need to lose weight because I know I'm not healthy and I need to fix this while I can. I told her I need to lose about 40 lbs and she looked concerned! Then I told her I'm 5' 1" and 160 lbs. But I'm a size 6! Proof that I'm not supposed to be "big" - and her only response to those details was "you're a size 6 at that weight?!"

    Its true. I have gotten this same reaction from friends. I hold my weight very well and at my best healthiest size I should actually be a size 2 to 3. But when you say those numbers to people who would look sick in them it seems to worry them more than anything else. its really kind of a bummer that they can't understand what "petite" really is and I'm just curious if this happens to any other would-be petites?


    I am 5'1" and 161lbs and I am nowhere near a size 6... I am a size 9/10. Maybe our body shapes are very different but a healthy weight for petite ladies like us is 105-135lbs. At 135lbs I wore a size 6 and was very healthy...
  • filomenae
    filomenae Posts: 110 Member
    I can relate! I'm 5'1, but at my heaviest (165lbs or so) I was size 10/11. I'm 119lbs (maybe a little less) now and I mainly wear a size 2. I still have weight I'd like to lose (about 10lbs), and I know I'll end up probably a 0/1 when I meet my goal.

    When I started to lose weight and gain muscle, I hung around size 8/6 (150-135lbs).. Considering my BMI (which is a bunch of BS to me anyway) was overweight, I was wearing relatively average/slightly under average sizes.

    People look at me now and think I weigh 110-100lbs and I'm perfectly OK with that.. :laugh:
  • ang3h
    ang3h Posts: 185 Member
    I'm 5'3" and 120 lbs and a size 6. I've gotten the snarkiest comments about it. "Oh, you're that big?" Ridiculous.
  • hailzp
    hailzp Posts: 903 Member
    It affects tall people too. When I say I have 50kg to lose they go all cray cray like I will die or something. But I am 6ft and started at 270lb.
  • Alohathin
    Alohathin Posts: 360 Member
    I'm not a girl, but I can relate. What Rayman79 said is very true. People hold their weight very differently.

    When I was in the Army, I always thought I was overweight, even when I was in the best shape of my life. I am 5'7" and the Army said that my ideal weight was something like 145-159. I could never get below about 163.

    So, I would have to go in to the drill sergeant's office, and he would check my body fat percentage by measuring around my neck and waist, plug it into a bodyfat calculation chart, and make sure that I wasn't over the bodyfat limit. Of course I was way below the limit, but that didn't stop the drill sergeant from telling me to lose weight, anyway.

    It was basically beaten into my head that I needed to lose weight cause I didn't meet the Army standard, even though I had a 29" waist, I could run 6:00 miles for 5 miles and bench press nearly twice my body weight. It makes no sense to me, now. But at the time I was young and impressionable, and it was a drill seargent telling me to lose weight, so...

    And because of that I feel like I got a first hand look at how people with anorexia feel. I look at pictures of myself from that time in my life, and I can't fathom how I ever felt bad about my body. But I did.

    I'll never get back to the kind of shape I was in then, but I'm ready to get as close as I can.
  • Nikkibebe08
    Nikkibebe08 Posts: 127
    BeforeandDuringpicturesmall.jpg

    I'm 5'2" and the pic on the left is me at 179lbs..I had some belly but I still wore a size 9/10. Current picture on the right is me at 149lbs and a size 5/6. I think it really depends on body type. According to my doctor I should weigh between 105-115lbs which I think would look terrible on me. My goal is to get to 135ish, and I'd like to tone up. I think going by weight charts according to height etc..isn't right for everyone.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    I'm 5'2" and I weigh 102. I'm in a size 0 or 2, but when I get a size 2, I need to have the waist made smaller. I think the numbers of my clothing size and an extra small being big on me and the number of my weight sounds small, but I look healthy. When I weighed 110 a lady in a store told me she thought I should wear a size large and was very rude to me. When I said I thought I was a size small she rolled her eyes, laughed in my face and said, "Take the large" (to the dressing room). That was weird. It was just that one experience and my husband agreed it was mean and weird.
  • Shelgirl001
    Shelgirl001 Posts: 477 Member
    I am 5' 1 1/2" and not am at a size 10/12 generally. It is mainly in my waist area, though, because I have always had trouble there, but especially after having 2 large babies. The largest being almost 9 1/2 lbs. and when I was 36. When I was 135 lbs. before I got pregnant with my first, I was in a size 6/8 It is something that I am now striving for, but hopefully even lighter. I never was over 100 lbs until I was about 24.

    I told my Mom how much I weight now, and she actually couldn't believe it at first, but I do have quite muscular arms and legs. That does case extra weight.
  • hellosara08
    hellosara08 Posts: 140 Member
    I'm 5'3 and I don't know if I can count as petite (I have a 6" wrist which just put me at medium framed). I've been overweight for pretty much all my teen years. At my highest weight, 173, I was wearing a size 10/12 in women's clothing. I'm really curvy and I've always managed to carry my weight well or so I've been told. The first time I lost over 20 lbs, I made it into my high 140s and everyone kind of freaked out. I was wearing an 8 which I thought was kind of big and I still looked overweight. My mom especially did not want me to lose any more weight and lectured me about it constantly. When I ballooned up again, she was so happy and when I started talking of losing the weight, she flat out told me not to. ><

    She hasn't seen me in about four months and I'm back down from 172 to about 151 and she's gonna freak. Especially since I'm going to lose about another 10 lbs before she gets back from out of the country. So I totally get it.
  • EngineerPrincess
    EngineerPrincess Posts: 306 Member
    I'm not petite by height but I'm very petite by frame, at 5'8 122 everyone agrees I'm "normal, not too thin" looking, and they're always guessing the wrong clothing sizes. My grandma buys me childrens large clothes (I'm 20) and my mom buys me womans size 8 pants and neither fit-- I think everyone, even family, should refrain from buying other people clothes or commenting on their size. :tongue:
    Also, it has so much to do with variations in sizing from brand to brand, and composition of muscle and fat! (I'm currently all bone and fat.) Don't rely on people's comments, even doctors, rely on what you look/feel like.
  • amarier21
    amarier21 Posts: 5
    I'm 4'10" and I weigh 146 right now. I have always been told that I don't need to lose weight because I'm already so small and petite. But I know that my lifestyle and eating habits are unhealthy and I would be much happier about 30 lbs lighter. No one really understands that just because I'm tiny in my height does not mean that I feel comfortable at my weight as well. And most people think it's strange because around my weight now is where they want to be. Everyone is different and needs to find where they are most comfortable! Also, anyone can add me on here! I love making new friends :)
  • KuroNyankoSensei
    KuroNyankoSensei Posts: 288 Member
    People think size 0 is for people who starve themselves and blah blah, but a lot of petite people that are generally that size still look healthy and fit ;P. I think I look my best at a size 0, personally. Now, if you're 5'10 with a large frame, then no, it's not a good idea. Some people just have their own natural sizes.

    Plus, size 0 in Asia is actually a medium or sometimes a large anyway XDDD.

    I'm 5'2 with a small frame and come from a small-built family. My sister is the same height as me, and her post-pregnancy weight was 120 lbs, and she was large o_____o . . . weight shows a lot more on her since her frame is slightly smaller than mine. Her happy weight tends to gravitate towards 90-95 lbs.
  • megleo818
    megleo818 Posts: 595 Member
    Can totally relate. I'm 5' 3.5" and weigh 128 right now. Size 4-6. Still have around 10 pounds to lose, which will put me down into the size 0-2 range. BUT, I'm also nearly 49 years old and can tell you from experience that 20 years ago sizes were much different than they are today. Stuff is much, much bigger. I still have some old stuff from before I had kids (no, I'd never wear that stuff, but it's there to remind me of what my body was like), and those old 8's are tight on me now. My mother, who was a department store model for a while in the '50's, was shorter than I and weighed less than 100 pounds and was a size 12!! -- Clothing companies continually tweak sizes to make them bigger because some women will buy anything if it's in a small size. And the general public still thinks a size 6 is tiny. Oftentimes it's just not.
  • Same for me!

    I'm 5'2" and right now at around 143. I also want/wanted to lose about more 40 lbs. But when I was around 14 I weighed 123 and fit into a size 7 in juniors and now, at 143, I can still fit into those same pants!

    So while it's really hard to not focus on the scale, it's really important to remember that it's not the be all and end all of your journey. Set inches and sizes as your goals so as to not get discouraged!

    But trust me, I totally feel your pain!
  • cthmom
    cthmom Posts: 9
    Yes. I totally understand. Your 6 foot coworker probably hasn't been a size 6 since she was 12 but our petite frames really shoule be about a size 2. Which could still be about 120-125lbs for us small gals.
  • jackieatx
    jackieatx Posts: 578 Member
    I'm not petite by height but I'm very petite by frame, at 5'8 122 everyone agrees I'm "normal, not too thin" looking, and they're always guessing the wrong clothing sizes. My grandma buys me childrens large clothes (I'm 20) and my mom buys me womans size 8 pants and neither fit-- I think everyone, even family, should refrain from buying other people clothes or commenting on their size. :tongue:
    Also, it has so much to do with variations in sizing from brand to brand, and composition of muscle and fat! (I'm currently all bone and fat.) Don't rely on people's comments, even doctors, rely on what you look/feel like.

    Omf those owls are slaying me!! Too cute!

    On the topic at hand I can't relate because I'm 5'9" and have size 11 feet. I am jealous of all of you because you can wear the cute heels I always have to buy the ones without a platform or I tower over everyone in a bad way.
  • gramacanada
    gramacanada Posts: 557 Member
    Clothing sizes change over the years, and are different from Brand to Brand. Even on different items within the same Brand! When I was 14, I weighed 115. I wore a size 10. A few years ago I weighed 148 and wore a size 6. I ignore sizes and just wear what fits. When someone asks I say, it depends on the day, the item, the brand, the colour, the temperature, how I slept. :wink: They never ask again! In my estimation as you age and gain weight the size goes down! :laugh::laugh: People have no idea what they're seeing when they look at others. i know someone who is 4'10' she is perfectly proportioned. Until I met her, I had no idea size 0 even existed! :smile:
  • EngineerPrincess
    EngineerPrincess Posts: 306 Member
    I'm not petite by height but I'm very petite by frame, at 5'8 122 everyone agrees I'm "normal, not too thin" looking, and they're always guessing the wrong clothing sizes. My grandma buys me childrens large clothes (I'm 20) and my mom buys me womans size 8 pants and neither fit-- I think everyone, even family, should refrain from buying other people clothes or commenting on their size. :tongue:
    Also, it has so much to do with variations in sizing from brand to brand, and composition of muscle and fat! (I'm currently all bone and fat.) Don't rely on people's comments, even doctors, rely on what you look/feel like.

    Omf those owls are slaying me!! Too cute!

    On the topic at hand I can't relate because I'm 5'9" and have size 11 feet. I am jealous of all of you because you can wear the cute heels I always have to buy the ones without a platform or I tower over everyone in a bad way.

    Aha thanks, and yeah I could relate to this topic because being extreme on either height scale and people will judge you, y'know? Sometimes I wish I were 5'2-5'4, that way I could wear heels galore and not look like a giant next to my 5'6 boyfriend. x)
  • Marll
    Marll Posts: 904 Member
    I'm not a girl, but I can relate. What Rayman79 said is very true. People hold their weight very differently.

    When I was in the Army, I always thought I was overweight, even when I was in the best shape of my life. I am 5'7" and the Army said that my ideal weight was something like 145-159. I could never get below about 163.

    So, I would have to go in to the drill sergeant's office, and he would check my body fat percentage by measuring around my neck and waist, plug it into a bodyfat calculation chart, and make sure that I wasn't over the bodyfat limit. Of course I was way below the limit, but that didn't stop the drill sergeant from telling me to lose weight, anyway.

    It was basically beaten into my head that I needed to lose weight cause I didn't meet the Army standard, even though I had a 29" waist, I could run 6:00 miles for 5 miles and bench press nearly twice my body weight. It makes no sense to me, now. But at the time I was young and impressionable, and it was a drill seargent telling me to lose weight, so...

    And because of that I feel like I got a first hand look at how people with anorexia feel. I look at pictures of myself from that time in my life, and I can't fathom how I ever felt bad about my body. But I did.

    I'll never get back to the kind of shape I was in then, but I'm ready to get as close as I can.

    OMG I can totally relate. I was almost chaptered out of the Army because I was "overweight" at 5'11" and 185lbs. Army wanted me to weigh closer to 165, but I just couldn't get below about 175-180 because of weight lifting I did in high school and the fact that I am just more muscular. Tape tests were brutal because I have a naturally thin neck.

    Never mind that I could throw a a .50cal with barrel on my shoulder and run for a mile or more (that's about 110lbs for those of you that don't know how big a .50cal machine gun is) or walk more than 25miles in a day with an 80lb rucksack, and M60 machine gun (M60 weighs about 24lbs), I was still "fat".

    No matter what weight I am people always think I'm smaller. When I told a co-worker the other day I still wanted to loose about 20-25lbs she looked at me like I was insane.
  • alleycat88
    alleycat88 Posts: 756 Member
    I'm 5'4, and started at 155lbs. a size 8, mostly because of my boobs. I'm down to 143 and want to get down to 130, which would make me a size 2/4. I'm already down to a size 6. even when I was at my heaviest people would think I was around 130 so it justgoes to show how differently people carry their weight.
  • TiasF
    TiasF Posts: 58 Member
    Yes! This is definitely the case for me. I have a very small frame, I am 5'2" and i carry my weight VERY well, thank God. i told my trainer how much i weighed and she could not believe it! I also asked all of my close friends how much they thought i may weigh, & no one said above 200, & i am over 250 now. i've seen ppl my same weight that do NOT look the same, so im not completely sure what my goal weight should be or how i'll look.
  • bluex232
    bluex232 Posts: 135 Member
    Can totally relate. I'm 5' 3.5" and weigh 128 right now. Size 4-6. Still have around 10 pounds to lose, which will put me down into the size 0-2 range. BUT, I'm also nearly 49 years old and can tell you from experience that 20 years ago sizes were much different than they are today. Stuff is much, much bigger. I still have some old stuff from before I had kids (no, I'd never wear that stuff, but it's there to remind me of what my body was like), and those old 8's are tight on me now. My mother, who was a department store model for a while in the '50's, was shorter than I and weighed less than 100 pounds and was a size 12!! -- Clothing companies continually tweak sizes to make them bigger because some women will buy anything if it's in a small size. And the general public still thinks a size 6 is tiny. Oftentimes it's just not.

    Im jealous! Im 5' 3.5" and 124 and wear size 8-9! Ugh I hate my Butt and Thighs!!! LOL :wink: Proof that everyone carries their weight different though!
  • Carfoodel
    Carfoodel Posts: 481 Member
    I am 5 ft 2" and started off at 297 lbs - I am now at 237, and I had originally thought that I would aim for about 140lbs - but looking at pictures from that website that shows photo's of people at different sizes and body types - I am now thinking that I should be aiming for about 130lbs.

    When I have told people what weight I am now - I get told quite often that I don't look it and when I say I am wanting to lose at least 100lbs yet and aiming for 10 stone (140lbs) I get looks of horror or worry and asked "are you sure?" strangely though, people don't seem to realise how short I am.

    I am not telling people that I am now thinking of going to less than that, I am just saying that I am aiming for a UK size 12 and the occasional 10 would be nice or I think it would just get too awkward lol.
  • ChasingStarlight
    ChasingStarlight Posts: 424 Member
    I am 5'2 and am now at my goal weight of 115. My mother who has put on a lot of weight keeps hassling me about being too thin, after originally hassling me about being too fat. I used to be 99 quite naturally until age 20, I ate a lot but had a quick metabolism, so I have a very small build.

    I feel a bit sad that I didn't feel I could share my joy at hitting my original goal weight with my mother because of all the grief I would get.

    Sometimes people just cut you down for their own reasons. you just have to try to ignore them and do what feels right for you.
  • SherryRueter
    SherryRueter Posts: 3,359 Member
    I don't tell people what I weigh. I really consider it to be intrusive. I mean, would you go up to an obese person and say, "hey, what do you weigh?" Heck no! So why go up to anyone else and ask them that question. And then, what does it really matter. Kindof like your age, its just a number!

    What does matter is 1) are you eating the foods that fuel your body, or are you not eating or eating processed foods? 2) Are you exercising in a healthy manner? Not 5hours a day, but you are Active. 3) You are not tired or sleepy all day long. 4) You are not sick a LOT of the time. As long as you are healthy, active and enjoying life, the number on the scale is truely a number.

    I use to get a lot of people saying mean things...
    ...your gonna blow away (um...your not because your fat?)
    ...you don't eat enough to keep a mouse alive (um...eating fruits and veggies is a crime?)


    Focus on what you are doing right, and what you can do. Focus on the positives
    ...I ate healthy today
    ...I exercised today
    ...I can keep up with my kids
    ...I have a happy positive attitude

    Tell the negative voice in your head to *SHUT UP* - Chalene Johnson.