40 and F.I.N.A.O!

Today I turn 40. For some people turning a year older just brings more heartache and pain. Foe me 40 has brought me good health, a huge weight loss, and a better appreciation of food and how it can work in my favor for me and not against me. This journey has not been easy. To be honest it has been the hardest thing to do in my life and I will do it all again. Not one re great, not one thought every crossed my mind as to if it was something I should or shouldn't do.

At first I said that I was doing this for my Kids. But I found out that even if I sit around and never lost not one pound they were going to love me anyway. The problem was that I did not love myself at the weight I was. I did not love me enough to take care of myself, and how in the world could I take care of my babies when I could barley walk without loosing my breath. And I hated myself for that. I love my kids soooo much but just not enough to try to stick around to see them grow up because at the rate I was going I would have been dead. So making this change was FOR ME. I just could not see my kids putting me in the grave prematurely because I could not get control of my eating habits. This was not an option. I am in control of my life, and what goes into my mouth. No one has EVER held a gun to me or my children heads and said "if you don't eat this I will kill you and your kids"

But this was exactly what I was doing to myself. And it is so funny because if anyone ever tried to hurt me or my babies they would have a BIG problem on their hands, but here I was doing it to me AND to them! So I attracted my weight loss as if someone was threatening me and my children life, with ANGER!! And that anger has got me a 130 pound weight loss, so now that anger has turn into pure self love!

I will NEVER go back to being that person that threatened my babies lives and mine with the loaded gun of obesity. Its over and I will fight to the death to stay and keep myself healthy!!!

F.I.N.A.O (failure is not a option)