Really dude? Do your own leg work...

What are we in high school? Tell him to write her a note. I like you. Do you like me? Check yes or no

I don't see much wrong with it to be honest.

Isn't it equally weird to go to the gym solely with the intention of hitting on a girl you've never seen.

Perhaps your mate just isn't as bothered as you want him to be?

ETA: - just seen the bit about going to bars....yea that is a bit weird...I get the gym bit, but in a bar setting it's standard. He needs to man up...

That's funny. No really, I laughed out loud at my desk. I suppose I was imagining myself as that girl and my reaction would be not unlike the face you made at the end of your sentence, huh??:noway:

Tell your friend to get a life, or at the least, get a clue. A wing man is there to support you. If I'm going through all the motions, I need to just keep the digits and date her myself. Good luck!

My husband's best friend is like that. I tried for years to get him to come out to the bars with us so that he could meet some of my coworkers but he just wanted me to get their numbers so he could call them. He had no clue how odd that would be to receive a phone call from some dude the girl has never met. Now he spends most of his time *****ing about how I never bring around any single girls for him to meet.

My husband's best friend is like that. I tried for years to get him to come out to the bars with us so that he could meet some of my coworkers but he just wanted me to get their numbers so he could call them. He had no clue how odd that would be to receive a phone call from some dude the girl has never met. Now he spends most of his time *****ing about how I never bring around any single girls for him to meet.

Surely it must be scarier to call up a random girl than to just chat to her in a social setting?!

Don't get guys who can't just chat to a girl....not even chat them up, just speak to them...

How many of you have that friend out there that's too shy to talk to someone they may have the hots for? The gym I go to theres a gal that works there that I know my buddy would just go nuts for. I tell him "Hey man hit the gym with me talk to this gal." (Ok paraphrasing) and instead I get. "Can't you just get her name and number for me?" WHAT?!?! Are you serious?!

Me, "Yeah hey this is crazy... we BS at the gym here and there, but like my buddy wants your name and number... no you've never seen him. Yeah hes too shy to show his face. So whats the digits?" O_o

I mean would I be wrong to neck punch this guy? Yes drastic but still come on! We go to the bars. Him, "Hey go talk to that chick for me and get her to come over her." WTF dude?!

He obviously doesn't have the stones to go out with her, save her the drama and tell him to forget it.

Tell him girls like confidence, and that doesn't really show case any.

Hmmmm..... is it really your "friend" or are YOU just looking for confidence, support and encouragement to talk to this girl at the gym???

Opening line..... "dang gurl, was that 7mph on a 12% incline......." LOL. :glasses:

"Hey go talk to that chick for me and get her to come over her."

You can be his wingman w/o being his matchmaker. :happy: I mean, at the bar is one thing, but at the gym, he should at LEAST be present if you're going to get him in her sights.

How many of you have that friend out there that's too shy to talk to someone they may have the hots for? The gym I go to theres a gal that works there that I know my buddy would just go nuts for. I tell him "Hey man hit the gym with me talk to this gal." (Ok paraphrasing) and instead I get. "Can't you just get her name and number for me?" WHAT?!?! Are you serious?!

Me, "Yeah hey this is crazy... we BS at the gym here and there, but like my buddy wants your name and number... no you've never seen him. Yeah hes too shy to show his face. So whats the digits?" O_o

I mean would I be wrong to neck punch this guy? Yes drastic but still come on! We go to the bars. Him, "Hey go talk to that chick for me and get her to come over her." WTF dude?!

ok...there's being/needing a wingman....and then there's this....

if he needed a wingman that's one thing...but this? This is like needing your mom to walk you to school in grade nine....or grade 5 for that matter

How many of you have that friend out there that's too shy to talk to someone they may have the hots for? The gym I go to theres a gal that works there that I know my buddy would just go nuts for. I tell him "Hey man hit the gym with me talk to this gal." (Ok paraphrasing) and instead I get. "Can't you just get her name and number for me?" WHAT?!?! Are you serious?!

Me, "Yeah hey this is crazy... we BS at the gym here and there, but like my buddy wants your name and number... no you've never seen him. Yeah hes too shy to show his face. So whats the digits?" O_o

I mean would I be wrong to neck punch this guy? Yes drastic but still come on! We go to the bars. Him, "Hey go talk to that chick for me and get her to come over her." WTF dude?!

Maybe in future just don't tell him it's a set up. Just get him to come to the gym with you, then point her out to see what he thinks. THEN encourage him to talk to her. I know it's hard to understand when you're someone who's never had a serious problem with self confidence, but shyness/fear of rejection can be completely debilitating. It's not laziness, it's not immaturity, it's a form of social anxiety. If he's anything like me, he actually gets physically ill at the thought of being publicly humiliated in that way. It's very hard for me to even look a guy in the eye if I'm interested because I'm afraid he'll be able to tell and then he'll laugh in my face. I am working on it, and I've gotten better, but it's still a very difficult thing to live with and overcome. Try to have a little patience and understanding. I know you have your friend's best interests at heart, and you want him to be happy. However, pushing him to do something he's not ready to do, may cause more harm than good. Just my opinion, coming from personal experience.

Hmmmm..... is it really your "friend" or are YOU just looking for confidence, support and encouragement to talk to this girl at the gym???

Opening line..... "dang gurl, was that 7mph on a 12% incline......." LOL. :glasses:

LOL! Yes I am sure. I am going on my 12th year of being married. Happily most of the time I might add lol.

I've known this guy for years. He went through a nasty divorce about 3 years ago and since then he's NOT been the same confident dude I knew. I'm trying to get him to get on his horse again but it's like beating a dead dog. It's just not going anywhere.

Ahhhh, see now we're getting down to it. He went through a nasty divorce, probably not fully understanding what he "did wrong". Because he doesn't know, he's afraid of making the same error in ignorance. I know guys find it hard to talk about "feelings", but if you're really that close to him, you may be the best person to get him seriously talking about what's going on. The only way to "fix" the problem is to clearly identify it. Shyness is not the real problem, it is merely a symptom of the underlying problem.

too funny. I dont have any friends here and I am looking for good folks to keep me motivated .. your post cracked me up.... all I have to say: how old is this guy?
I use to work with middle schoolers... and that just reminds me of them

Hmmmm..... is it really your "friend" or are YOU just looking for confidence, support and encouragement to talk to this girl at the gym???

Opening line..... "dang gurl, was that 7mph on a 12% incline......." LOL. :glasses:

LOL! Yes I am sure. I am going on my 12th year of being married. Happily most of the time I might add lol.

I've known this guy for years. He went through a nasty divorce about 3 years ago and since then he's NOT been the same confident dude I knew. I'm trying to get him to get on his horse again but it's like beating a dead dog. It's just not going anywhere.

Ahhhh, see now we're getting down to it. He went through a nasty divorce, probably not fully understanding what he "did wrong". Because he doesn't know, he's afraid of making the same error in ignorance. I know guys find it hard to talk about "feelings", but if you're really that close to him, you may be the best person to get him seriously talking about what's going on. The only way to "fix" the problem is to clearly identify it. Shyness is not the real problem, it is merely a symptom of the underlying problem.

Oh I know what his problem is. Total lack of confidence. Distaste of self image. However he wont put the beer down to pick up a dumbbell to save himself. So he sits stewing is his own waste so-to-speak. Going out with him after work to our favorite watering hole so I'm sure I'll hear more "Go get her number for me". I just want to punch him in the throat and hope the lack of ozygen makes something click before he blacks out. Extreme? Yes it is I wont lie. But damnit I've tried everything else.

Yes, but what I mean is, WHERE is that lack of confidence coming from? You said yourself that he didn't used to be this way. It's more than just going through a divorce. Lots of people go through divorce and it doesn't completely destroy their confidence. There has to be something more going on mentally that he's not letting anybody else in. Like I said before, trying to force him to do something he's not really ready for can cause more harm than good. Just don't try to fix him up with anybody until he seems like it's something he genuinely wants. As far as having this problem when you go out, just tell him that, until he starts feeling ready to go and talk to women himself, don't ask for your help in that regard.