SELF-SABOTAGE

Lyra89
Lyra89 Posts: 674 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
...what causes us to do it again and again? A lack of motivation? Junk food as a coping mechanism? As a means of achieving comfort?

With all that I know & have learned about nutrition, I don't understand how I can STILL go weak at the knees at the idea of losing all control and eating chocolate or whatever else that I know is terrible for my insides & my mental well-being. I've been 10/15lbs away from my goal weight for the last year and a half, after losing 50lbs.

Is my body just telling me to stay as I am? Or am I just being weak? OR is it something deeper?

Opinions on self-sabotage, please :smile:

Replies

  • TArnold2012
    TArnold2012 Posts: 929 Member
    For me it was always emotional eating rather than physical hunger.
  • lil_pulp
    lil_pulp Posts: 701 Member
    In my case, it turned out to be something deeper. I've been working on some painful issues in therapy--issues that I didn't even know existed but are actually quite closely related to my unhealthy eating habits--and my urges to binge and even just simply overeat are drastically better. When I have a "hard eating week," I can often uncover the reason (e.g. the thoughts I was trying to bury with overeating or obsessing about food/weight/body) and then the eating stuff gets better again. It's a long, expensive (my insurance helps only somewhat), and painful process, but has been very worthwhile for me. Good luck.

    ETA: Like you, OP, I lost a bit of weight (about 70 pounds), and then about 15 pounds away from goal, got kind of stuck because of my eating issues.
  • Lyra89
    Lyra89 Posts: 674 Member
    In my case, it turned out to be something deeper. I've been working on some painful issues in therapy--issues that I didn't even know existed but are actually quite closely related to my unhealthy eating habits--and my urges to binge and even just simply overeat are drastically better. When I have a "hard eating week," I can often uncover the reason (e.g. the thoughts I was trying to bury with overeating or obsessing about food/weight/body) and then the eating stuff gets better again. It's a long, expensive (my insurance helps only somewhat), and painful process, but has been very worthwhile for me. Good luck.

    ETA: Like you, OP, I lost a bit of weight (about 70 pounds), and then about 15 pounds away from goal, got kind of stuck because of my eating issues.

    I am considering therapy for when I go back to college, as I believe it will help me a LOT. I know that I have a lot of issues with my body & my weight and I think that sometimes I use it as a distraction to other things that are going on in my head, and also think that I punish myself by self-sabotaging. My brother recently went through therapy and a lot of stuff came up about my mother, and I'm starting to realise that as a child, we were always given an abundance of junk food as compensation for my mother and step father being away with work all the time, or simply just wanting to sit upstairs all weekend rather than down with us. We were always 'treated' with junk food, and both myself and my brother always turned to food if we were bored or lonely.

    Is it possible to turn things around and train your brain to find comfort in other things through therapy?
  • lil_pulp
    lil_pulp Posts: 701 Member
    Yes! I'm doing it. It's hard and sometimes I falter, but in the past year I've made so much progress in terms of eating like "a normal person."
  • Sarahsarahsarahk
    Sarahsarahsarahk Posts: 62 Member
    For me, I just love food! I always control myself so well on the weekdays but once the weekend comes around, I EAT. I have been getting better and try to just limit myself to one day a week eating poorly, if at all. Even on days where I am not so strict with what I eat, I still workout. :)
  • susanswan
    susanswan Posts: 1,194 Member
    It takes practice to learn new habits. Just because you always used to turn to food does not mean that it is an impossible habit to break. Emotional ties to things make it very hard, but not impossible. You want to change. You do the work. You can make the change. I believe it is both that simple, and that difficult. Nobody will tell you it is easy, just possible. Continue to strive to do better and you will.
  • Lyra89
    Lyra89 Posts: 674 Member
    It takes practice to learn new habits. Just because you always used to turn to food does not mean that it is an impossible habit to break. Emotional ties to things make it very hard, but not impossible. You want to change. You do the work. You can make the change. I believe it is both that simple, and that difficult. Nobody will tell you it is easy, just possible. Continue to strive to do better and you will.

    This is so motivational :) Thank you! Its just so hard sometimes, as food has been a crutch for me during times of happiness, sadness, loneliness & anger...my goal is to transfer my connection to food to running. I've been trying to do this for over a year but so far it hasn't happened.

    It also doesn't help that my family tell me that I don't look any different at 120, 130 or 140lbs...or that my partner always tells me that he loves me just as I am...even though he is trying to be loving and supportive, it makes me think 'well if people don't even notice my efforts, & if my boyfriend thinks its a wasted effort, then why bother?'

    I want to be a nutritional coach & am planning on doing a course after I get my education degree, and have done a huge amount of research into healthy eating. Most of the time, I'm genuinely disgusted by the ingredients in the average chocolate bar. Then other times, like tonight, a chocolate bar holds such allure over me. Its maddening!
  • senyosmom
    senyosmom Posts: 613 Member
    i eat out of boredom and have not found a way to stop yet... so I have to keep busy doing something else or I will keep busy eating.
  • lepow
    lepow Posts: 92 Member
    I know that I eat a lot out of boredom, and I've found it helps to just chew gum ALL. THE. TIME. I always have a pack with me and when I get the urge to eat, I stop and try to decide whether I'm hungry or just bored. If it's boredom, I definitely pop in a piece of gum. It at least keeps my brain/mouth occupied.
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
    this is me.
    i will be all 'yea a lost few inches/pounds, time to have a treat!' and completely screw myself.
  • splashangel
    splashangel Posts: 494 Member
    Cheating makes it hard on me. Not an occasional candy bar but a sit down and eat whatever I want. Dinner out with husband or a social event with lots of food. I have to really watch my self for a few days afterwards. I crave pretty serious after a binge. I started with cheat days. Then cheat meals. Now, I do it when something comes along that I want to join in on.
  • winamb
    winamb Posts: 18 Member
    For me it is whatever is going on in my life. If I am stressed, I go into my "screw-it" mode and will know that I am eating bad, but just dont care. Then I have to fight to pull it all back together. Which is what I am doing now.........
  • Lyra89
    Lyra89 Posts: 674 Member
    this is me.
    i will be all 'yea a lost few inches/pounds, time to have a treat!' and completely screw myself.

    I know so many people with this problem. We're fighting an uphill battle...I mean, when I go to the store, I'm faced with thousands upon thousands of brightly coloured, artificially flavoured, processed foods calling my name, with ingredients lists as long as some essays I've written :wink:

    I feel so sorry for the newest generation of children...they are being brought up in a world where 'food' isn't food any more. I wish I hadn't been brought up on a diet of coco pops, white bread/cheese/butter sandwiches, chocolate biscuits, potato crisps, processed frozen foods & fizzy drinks! I had to force myself to develop a taste for healthy food, and it took so long...
  • gaylynn35
    gaylynn35 Posts: 854 Member
    If you really need that chocolate bar. Try eating some dark chocolate, in moderation it is good for you! :bigsmile:
  • gaylynn35
    gaylynn35 Posts: 854 Member
    It is harder to lose the last few pounds. Don't give up on yourself. Try a different kind of exercise, it might help.
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
    this is me.
    i will be all 'yea a lost few inches/pounds, time to have a treat!' and completely screw myself.

    I know so many people with this problem. We're fighting an uphill battle...I mean, when I go to the store, I'm faced with thousands upon thousands of brightly coloured, artificially flavoured, processed foods calling my name, with ingredients lists as long as some essays I've written :wink:

    I feel so sorry for the newest generation of children...they are being brought up in a world where 'food' isn't food any more. I wish I hadn't been brought up on a diet of coco pops, white bread/cheese/butter sandwiches, chocolate biscuits, potato crisps, processed frozen foods & fizzy drinks! I had to force myself to develop a taste for healthy food, and it took so long...

    you are so right. my kids love junk food, heh.
    i really hate that i ever ate it myself (and let them eat it)
  • avocado12
    avocado12 Posts: 197 Member
    I can be very sensible during the day, but come the evening whilst I am sitting down watching TV, boredom kicks in and I can graze on rubbish all night!
  • ahviendha
    ahviendha Posts: 1,291 Member
    I know that I eat a lot out of boredom, and I've found it helps to just chew gum ALL. THE. TIME. I always have a pack with me and when I get the urge to eat, I stop and try to decide whether I'm hungry or just bored. If it's boredom, I definitely pop in a piece of gum. It at least keeps my brain/mouth occupied.

    Ahh this is what I do with mints! But gum may be better, fewer calories.

    Watching TV at night for me is when the weakness sets in. I'm comfy, work is done, and I want to snack. I keep telling myself I need to take up knitting or something to do with my hands so I don't feel the urges.

    I always want to treat myself with something sweet, a reward for eating well all day. I have to re-train my brain to treat with non-foods, but food is the cheapest and most available reward! (glare at food corporations) And some others are noting how you do become addicted to the sugar, to the fat. That's why I can't ever just have one cookie, why I keep them away from me at all costs unless I make them myself and use whole wheat flour, egg whites, etc. to make it healthier.

    ALSO something I've learned is I can't split a meal 50/50 with my boyfriend. It needs to be 70/30 or 60/40 his way. Because he is a male, and over 6ft, and he blasts through calories in ways I only dream of. I've only started the 70/30 split the past month or so, but I hope it makes a difference.

    Basically I struggle with self-sabotage too! But it feels good knowing I'm not the only one.
  • mamaomefo
    mamaomefo Posts: 418 Member
    I have a terrible sweet tooth. When I'm stressed I eat nothing but sweets! How awful to eat so well for weeks and then just blow it in a few minutes, but I do this sometimes. I am trying to learn to reach for my water bottle instead of the junk food. It is a learning process.:drinker:
  • lorazaruba
    lorazaruba Posts: 61 Member
    Why is it so easy to give in and not walk way?
  • lorazaruba
    lorazaruba Posts: 61 Member
    AMEN!! I feel your pain!!

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