Making New Friends In A New City (Manchester, UK)

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MouthyMatthewCHANGED
MouthyMatthewCHANGED Posts: 85
in Introduce Yourself
Hi there,

I was wondering whether anyone out there has experience of moving to a new city away from where they grew up, and more specifically how you went about making new friends in the area.

I moved to Manchester nearly 6 years ago but in that time I've neglected my social life. My job doesn't lend itself well to socialising with the people I work with, and having been in a couple of long-term relationships since I've been here, I've tended to focus on those (too exclusively, which is easily done) and not really planted any seeds of friendship in other ways.

I don't want to make dozens and dozens of friends as I think that true friendship has a time investment in it (deservedly so), and I would rather make a small number of close friends than dozens of what would be more like acquaintances. Someone who you can ring up and see if they fancy seeing a film, or they can ring me and see about popping to the shops with them to help them find a certain something, or just to catch up on what's been happening with them.

If it matters, I'm gay, but I don't define myself by my sexuality. I don't really have gay friends as I often question gay men's motivations (they often say 'friend' and mean something quite different). That might be an unfairly sweeping generalisation but there you have it.

But I'm up for making friends with anyone really, gay or straight, male or female. There's much more to a person than who they're attracted to, and it's sharing similar interests that would make a stronger friendship.

I'm trying out a couple of websites and I'll see how that pans out, but it does feel a little artificial. But if Manchester's to be my lifelong home (which I would like it to be) then I need to get this aspect of my life sorted out once and for all. Any pointers would be gratefully received!

And hopefully I don't sound like too much of a hopeless case!!

Replies

  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,012 Member
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    Whatever you do......like football (soccer). They are crazy about it over there. If anyone asks you what you like to do tell them you love watching the blues......I would get a jersey too.....This one. Good Luck.

    http://www.soccer.com/IWCatProductPage.process?Merchant_Id=1&Ne=645&N=4294959212&Product_Id=4288658
  • alphabetsalad
    alphabetsalad Posts: 24 Member
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    I moved to a new city less than a year ago, and shortly after I got here I joined a book club. I am now friends with several of the group members - we get together regularly for dinner, walks, movies, etc. - and I'm so glad I joined! Highly recommended. :smile:
  • MouthyMatthewCHANGED
    MouthyMatthewCHANGED Posts: 85
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    In that case I'm doubly screwed because I can't be bothered with football! o_O

    I've recently become interested in rugby league but very little in the way of sport interests me. Argh!
  • MouthyMatthewCHANGED
    MouthyMatthewCHANGED Posts: 85
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    Hmm, so perhaps finding local clubs or hobby groups would be an idea? I think I'd feel a bit of a loner turning up to something like that on my own - but I would have to start somewhere I suppose... No-one said it would be easy...
  • FH36251
    FH36251 Posts: 44 Member
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    I moved from near Manchester to near Reading (UK) last Sept. I'm lucky in that I found a load of really good friends here really quickly - mostly through sport. I joined a local Pole fitness class, and through there I've gone on to train at 2 studios and meet a heck of a lot of peole I now count as very good friends. I also get out a lot; walking my dogs, visiting the local areas and meeting up with work colleagues etc. A lot of it is just talking to people - I'm not averse to starting conversations with random strangers - I guess it depends how confident you are!

    Manchester is the best city in the UK, for good company try places like Total Fitness (Central), Port St Beer House and Afflecks Palace.

    Also, Manchester has a massive cycling community if that's more your scene?

    Good Luck, I miss the north!!!

    Quick Edit: I'm guessing you've already been to the lovely Canal St?
  • gadgetchik
    gadgetchik Posts: 2
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    I lived in Manchester for a year to complete my masters. I found I was too old for the student events but I did meet people in my building and thru a part time non career job. When I was there they did not have many Meet Up groups but they might have gotten better now...

    if you have hobbies are want to take up running they have running clubs in every city for all levels of fitness. Best of luck. I wish I still lived in Manchester :(

    :)
  • lik_11
    lik_11 Posts: 433 Member
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    I moved to a new city a few years ago, and really struggled to make friends. Since I love animals, I got involved volunteering at a no-kill animal shelter- and have made several friends through that. I suggest volunteering with an organization that will promote something you care about- you will meet like minded people who are willing to get out. (Volunteering helps out the organization, but it will give you an added bonus of feeling good, too!)
  • millyvanilli321
    millyvanilli321 Posts: 236 Member
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    Hi! I live in Manchester and I LOVE this city! I came here to study but I haven't left and it is now my home. Cycling is definitely big in manchester, probably because it's so flat :wink: I'm not a member of any clubs but there are definitely some about. There are plenty of running clubs too, and there's often 5K races in Platt Fields Park (i think every other saturday, but I haven't been brave enough to enter one yet!)

    From my experience, the best way to meet people and socialise is music, there's so much going on it's unbelieveable! LOADS of live music, especially in the Northern Quarter, any type of music you can think of, Manchester has a club for, so suits all tastes.

    and as someone said before, there's always Canal Street...it seems mostly hen parties these days i think but at least it's there!
  • MouthyMatthewCHANGED
    MouthyMatthewCHANGED Posts: 85
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    FH - thank you for all the suggestions. I'm quite a confident person and I don't mind talking to people at all - I'm far from a shrinking violet. But as with most people I think it's fair to say I'm more confident still if I had at least one person to be with for extra confidence. Walking into somewhere totally unprepared and on my own feels quite daunting.

    Money's also an issue at the moment so gym memberships and the like is something I can't really look into, not quite at the moment. But I do know it's important to get out of the house if I'm to meet people.

    Yes I've been to Canal Street and I do like it but again it comes down to the gay thing being a little too focussed on things other than friendships, and I know so many people who struggle to have a balance between being in a gay relationship and having gay friends. It's a shame really. I'm not saying everyone I know is like that but it's a high enough ratio to be a concern.

    Thanks again :-) x
  • MouthyMatthewCHANGED
    MouthyMatthewCHANGED Posts: 85
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    Gadgetchik - thank you. I do appreciate that I've got a vibrant city on my doorstep. I just wish I knew how to unlock it more easily! x
  • MouthyMatthewCHANGED
    MouthyMatthewCHANGED Posts: 85
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    Lik_11 - I'm liking the volunteering with animals idea very much! I'll look into that for certain! Thank you! x
  • MouthyMatthewCHANGED
    MouthyMatthewCHANGED Posts: 85
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    Milly - thank you. It seems Manchester's proving a brilliant place for you and I hope I can make it work better for me as well. I wish I could fast-forward to see how things would be for me in a several months' time but alas, crystal balls rarely work! x
  • juicy_cat
    juicy_cat Posts: 145 Member
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    er hello! Local girl, boyfriend in 2 bands so lots of time to give to new friendships...not every weekend admittedly but some...and time in week , and with common interests...Hate football, like food and doing fun things....I have no bloody hobbies and would be up for a book club or similar or learning Italian or you coming to ZUMBA....

    no offence (or is it offense) taken if you not up for anything...we can stay myfitnesspals!!
  • MouthyMatthewCHANGED
    MouthyMatthewCHANGED Posts: 85
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    Hi Al,

    Sorry, I don't know why I've not thought of you sooner. I think it's just that I've always seen you as a social butterfly with far better things to spend your time doing than seeing me!

    I'd love to get more involved in doing stuff with you :-) And I know all the best places for low-calorie food in the area ;-)

    I'll text you xx
  • aqua_zumba_fan
    aqua_zumba_fan Posts: 418
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    Hi there. This post is a bit old now but was searching for Manchester related stuff as moving there next month :) I'm interested in meeting new people and hoping to get along to zumba classes (the best thing I did when I moved to Chelmsford from my home town in N Ireland - went on my own and was terrified but so into it now and going to classes up to 5 times a week!), also want to volunteer with animals of at an LGBT organisation, want to join a running club (excited to hear of the 5k races as doing C25k!), and also not into football ;) So add me if you fancy meeting up once I move! x

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