Advice on encouraging?

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JackShow70
JackShow70 Posts: 49
in Motivation and Support
I have a friend at work that I have known for about 12 years. He smokes 1+ pack a day, drinks soda and energy drinks one after another (probably 8 a day during working hours), does not drink water, does not eat fruits or vegetables, does not exercise and eats fast food/vending machine food constantly.

This is not the typical person who is overweight. Due to the habits above, he is always sick, tired, and has the liver of an alcoholic even though he doesn’t drink. His skin is a mess. He is 38 but looks 50. We are fearful he will not live many more years at this rate.

Of course he knows what all of this does to his body (more or less). How do I appeal to him to get healthier without preaching? Any scenarios like this where you have had success sparking someone?

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  • jordanreddick
    jordanreddick Posts: 197 Member
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    The sad part about that is you can't. You can't force someone to want to change or coax them into changing their life. All you can do is keep up your diet and fitness plan and he will see how much better you feel and look and hopefully he will have the lightbulb switch on and join you in your endeavor. Until then, keep strong and be a motivator. People do not do well with being told their lifestyle isn't good and they need to change everything about it, do it yourself and motivate him without words.
  • pattyproulx
    pattyproulx Posts: 603 Member
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    Any way of starting some kind of physical activity during lunch times? Not sure how large your group is, but a little pick-up games of football are fun (or even just playing catch). If you can do something competitive and active that he'd be interested in, that would get him moving a bit.

    It's been my experience that when people start getting active they generally start looking at ways to improve other areas of health (though even if he doesn't, I'm sure the extra exercise would give him a boost).

    Otherwise though, I'm really not sure there's much you can do.
  • jcpmoore
    jcpmoore Posts: 796 Member
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    I'll echo fufonzo. Find activities you think your friend might enjoy and invite him. He has to make the choice-you can't make it for him. Just give him a reason to want it.

    My husband was in much the same boat at one point. I sat him down and told him I need him to either change his habits or take out an extra life insurance policy for me and the kids. That helped some and got him to realize he had an issue. But what made a difference was getting him into a taekwondo program that he loved doing. He lost 20-30 lbs, gave up the sodas and junk food, and felt great. But HE made the choice.
  • MyOwnSunshine
    MyOwnSunshine Posts: 1,312 Member
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    I agree that you can't make him want to be healthier and start putting in the effort.

    What you can do is to offer loads of support and encouragement if/when he does exhibit healthy behavior. You can offer positive advice and support if he brings the subject up first, too.
  • Stardiva37
    Stardiva37 Posts: 169 Member
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    U cant do it until..he is ready..invite him and see if he wants to..if he doesnt dont rush him
  • JackShow70
    JackShow70 Posts: 49
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    Thanks all for the input. Yea, you can't make someone get healthier. I thought of going the route of "hey don't you want to be around to see your son grow up?"

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