My mom, my worst enemy

I now live over an hour away from my family, and have little contact with them, and I think it's for the best. Now I turn to MFP family for guidance, and support. Everybody's words of kindness on here are motivational, and touching. I don't know what I would do without this site. Thank you all. Strangers and friends a like.

you are right, it is for the best. family or not, if they are toxic and don't support you, they have no room in your life.

I would take an opportunity to do something great for yourself. But no matter what your mother has ever said to you I am telling you now, you can do this. Do it for you because you deserve it. If you need encouragement add me. You can do this.Just surround yourself with encouraging people from here. I found MFP after I lost 112 pounds. I had no idea what I was doing in the beginning and I know that is a terrible place to be.

Honey, they are your family so you can never fully escape them. However, you can stop letting the years of verbal abuse hurt you. You can make the strides (and clearly you are) needed to improve your health and your happiness and show them your worth and your strength.

I wish you the best of luck!

I completely disagree. She should cut those people out of her life like a cencerous tumor and never look back. Who does that to thir OWN child??!!?!?

Oh dear god, it just pains me to hear this!

As a newer mommy (my son is 3 and my daughter will be born later this year) it terrifies me that one day my children might not have the best opinion of me, my worst fear is that it'll be for something that I honestly was trying to help. I try so hard to be encouraging and show my unconditional love but it's really difficult to see that "helpful" comments are doing the exact opposite. My mother too would make comments about my weight. She'd sew a new dress for me and make no comment then but a few days later (after she had two helpings of dessert after dinner) she'd come to me with concern for how surprised she is that I was so chubby. Recently, I heard that how you talk to your children is what their own inner-voice will become . . . if anything, please make a note of this so that you can decide what inner-voice your children (if you indeed do want kiddos) will have.

Anyway, the point is that you are not alone . . . never, ever are you alone. You are smart to look for support elsewhere; good luck to you!! :flowerforyou:

That is mean and really does suck. I know how you feel though because my dad was the same way. He was never around when I was growing up because of his business and thought that teasing me would motivate me to change. Instead, it pushed me to be a emotional eater who binged when no one was looking. Feel free to add me if you need the support.

I agree with degausser. Your mom's your biggest fan. Maybe you should call her and have a chat. My mother in-law has a daughter who is about 300 pounds and blames her mother for all of that, but it wasn't her mother feeding her spoonfuls of peanut butter dipped in sugar in the middle of the night. I wasn't there and I don't know why my sister in law is so fat that she had gestational diabetes and now type 2 diabetes. I never say anything about it because I'm sure she's in private agony. But if I were her mother, I would try to keep my child alive and healthy even if it meant telling the painful truth. Would you expect any loving mom who cares to feed you a bunch of baloney, and tell you that you look awesome in a sundress with your underarm fat hanging over it? Maybe your best friends will do that, and that's what they're for. But a mother has to be trusted to be a mirror and should be loved in return for showing you tough love. I hope things get better between you as you come to this realization.

bump... won't be home from work for another hour and i have a response to this...

Thank you for posting your hardship. I too have had mother and father issues all my life. I am the only "fat" person in my family. Even growing up my father used to call me thunder thighs at the age of 7. Those remarks stay with us weather we like it or not. My size 6 mother used to take me shopping and when I found something I liked she bought the exact same thing for herself and would say she couldn't find it in my size. I know she was concerned about my weight in high school but never motivated me just insulted me which let to more over eating.. Even now when I go around uncles I get told that every time they see me I am fatter..like it is supposed to be a nice greeting or something. The last time I heard this I blew up and told him off saying all the imperfections he had. Now this probably is not a preferred way of handling the situation but it made me feel good. I think he did not realize how much it bothers me. My husband loves me for who I am and I am learning to do the same. Especially since we are trying for a family we have tried to gain a healthy attitude about food. My husband is the only "skinny " person in his family. He has it a whole different way. It has helped me to see that the same kind of pressure and remarks can go the other way also. We just have to be strong and learn what makes us happy in the end. Thank you for your comments I am new to the community and appreciate you being honest.

Honey, they are your family so you can never fully escape them. However, you can stop letting the years of verbal abuse hurt you. You can make the strides (and clearly you are) needed to improve your health and your happiness and show them your worth and your strength.

I wish you the best of luck!

I completely disagree. She should cut those people out of her life like a cencerous tumor and never look back. Who does that to thir OWN child??!!?!?

You most certainly can fully escape them - and you should, if they are toxic people. My sister is very toxic. I haven't spoken to her in almost three years, and have no intention of ever speaking to her again.

Hugs to you, Missy.

I've never understood how a woman could do something like this to her child! Please know that your mother had and has the problem, NOT you. You are taking steps to overcome the abuse that was dealt you and we will all be there to help you thru your journey. You CAN make these positive changes in your life and be a happy, loving person. Please feel free to add me as a friend if you like.