Friends taking advantage of your professional skills...

EirePetal
EirePetal Posts: 54 Member
in Chit-Chat
In full disclosure, if I had a friend who was a massage therapist, it would be a total struggle to not take advantage of his/her skills.

I have helped a lot of friends with their resumes (in all honesty, the majority of resumes that I see need to be burned, come on people, at least spell check your resume before you turn it in). I helped one friend fix up her resume and talked to her a bit about interview and resume etiquette and I just got an email from her today with her classmate's resume. She preceded to tell me that her classmate has an interview on Friday and gave me a short list of how I can make changes to the document before I send it back to her. In all fairness, she did say please take a look, however, it was in a statement, not a polite question.

I like helping people out but I also feel like she is taking advantage of me. I kinda want some kind-of reciprocity from her classmate since he is not a friend of mine. Side note, there were misspellings in this resume as well. I have had someone misspell their own name before.

Anyways, I just wanted to share my little rant and see if any of you go through this too. How do you handle it? Or how would you handle it?
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Replies

  • ladyfingers73
    ladyfingers73 Posts: 80 Member
    I'm a hairstylist and the answer is YES. But over the years I have learned how to just say NO, sorry. Make an appt! ;)
  • MaryJane_8810002
    MaryJane_8810002 Posts: 2,082 Member
    I have been taken advantage of when I was running my own Etsy shop. You just gotta put your foot down or demand compensation.
  • dirty_blonde
    dirty_blonde Posts: 71 Member
    Certified professional photographer here...yes all my friends expect portraits for free. Put a quick stop to it but a few still hint around. Some friends I let go because they kept asking and wouldn't let it drop. I have no problem divorcing friends. Friendship is over rated
  • VelociMama
    VelociMama Posts: 3,119 Member
    I have been taken advantage of when I was running my own Etsy shop. You just gotta put your foot down or demand compensation.

    This.

    Tell them no more unless they are going to pay you for your time at a reasonable rate.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    Easy, just send her back a quick email with your pricing information.
  • Creativeballance
    Creativeballance Posts: 57
    I'm a computer tech, and I get asked to help out all of the time from friends. Here's my simple rule:

    If it's for your business, or you are going to get some money out of it, I charge (but usually not my normal rate).

    If you ask me all of the time, you better be giving me favors in return, or I start saying "Oh, I'm too busy to do it."

    BTW, your friends classmate isn't your friend, so I would be charging.
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    That's tough. I would for sure put my foot down when it comes to friends of friends. For your closer friends, you could tell them you could take a quick look over it for any glaring errors, but that it's really quite time consuming so they should make an appointment so you can carve out the time in your schedule to give it a decent look.
  • Sasssy69
    Sasssy69 Posts: 547 Member
    I'm a writer and an English teacher, and this happens to me. However, none of my friends have ever asked me to do something without offering to pay me. And this is why:

    When they ask, I says, "Sure, I'll take a look at it and make revisions. I do charge $30.00 an hour. Will this be all right? If so, we can meet up and I'll get you your final document/paper/resume` and you can pay me."

    If they "ask" you to look over something, you can reply to their request in a similar way that suits you best. And then hang on to the resume` until they cough up the money. If you're doing it for a friend's class mate, just pass this along as "Make sure you get their okay to pay me before I look at it" etc.

    I also do work in exchange for service. I just wrote a letter to a landlord for my stylist and got a free color. I do a ton of writing for my chiropractor in exchange for adjustments. So if your friends can give you an "exchange of service" then that might benefit you both.
  • sjtreely
    sjtreely Posts: 1,014 Member
    Tell them, "Sure. I'll look it over and give advice. But you must sign off on your original resume as I will undoubtedly use part of it for the book I'm writing titled, "Incredibly Stupid Things Idiots Write On Their Resumes."
  • stepharega
    stepharega Posts: 211 Member
    My cousin is the nicest, sweetest girl ever and happens to be a massage therapist.... ive never asked to have a massage although some times I did really need one. My other family members always take advantage of her and its not fair ;(
  • logicman69
    logicman69 Posts: 1,034 Member
    I worked at a music retail store selling guitars, it was hard not to give them my employee discount.
  • AlicynH
    AlicynH Posts: 201 Member
    I used to do hair. Sometimes it would get very frustrating when a friend would want a hair cut or perm or color and then not pay me. I finally got to a point where I had to tell them they needed to at least pay half of what I got at the salon. Some were upset about that.
  • 12skipafew99100
    12skipafew99100 Posts: 1,669 Member
    My husband once made up a resume and had them printed. He did his own proof reading. Only after they came back did he notice he had written pubic instread of public. As in serving the public. lol :embarassed:
  • tlblood
    tlblood Posts: 473 Member
    But you must sign off on your original resume as I will undoubtedly use part of it for the book I'm writing titled, "Incredibly Stupid Things Idiots Write On Their Resumes."

    That is an awesome idea! I'd read it!
  • HiKaren
    HiKaren Posts: 1,306 Member
    If you are feeling that way..... you could always do one more little task, and look up a resume service you could refer them to. Email her back the name and phone number, and just say... "You know I do need some additional time to take care of some of my own things I'm behind on. Please give this company a call. As I don't have the free time to do this for you and ALL YOUR FRIENDS. Say it in the sweetest tone you can... If you don't....and you do this other one...I guarantee you, the line will get long of other friends wanting the same thing...

    Unless you want to start your own resume service, in your spare time. You could make extra $ if you start charging. If your too burnt out with everything else clerical that you do, just refer them to a resume service, say you don't really have the extra spare time.
  • linhmaimac
    linhmaimac Posts: 148 Member
    I'd expect family to feel entitled..but friends like that suck.
  • EirePetal
    EirePetal Posts: 54 Member
    Tell them, "Sure. I'll look it over and give advice. But you must sign off on your original resume as I will undoubtedly use part of it for the book I'm writing titled, "Incredibly Stupid Things Idiots Write On Their Resumes."

    LOL, that is awesome! My first chapter would be "Email Addresses: Yummybunny69@xxxxxxxxx.com, Really?"
  • kr3851
    kr3851 Posts: 994 Member
    I would email back with 'I've had a look and it will take me about 15 minutes to fix, at my rate of xx per hour - just let me know if they're prepared to pay before I go ahead and use up my time'
  • FlyByJuly
    FlyByJuly Posts: 564 Member
    Easy, just send her back a quick email with your pricing information.

    ^ I LOVE this!
  • Bucky83
    Bucky83 Posts: 1,194 Member
    All the time! I'm a Speech Pathologist and have had both family and friends ask for support. I will often ask a few indicator questions, but then after that, I will either recommend to see a Speechie or say, "they're on target for their age".
  • nikinyx6
    nikinyx6 Posts: 772 Member
    I have a friend in the process of becoming a personal trainer...I ask her for help and consultation all the time. I think it's mutually beneficial though, as training for her upcoming career. She doesn't seem to mind at least :)
  • UpEarly
    UpEarly Posts: 2,555 Member
    I'm a photographer. You would not believe how many people among my friends, family and acquaintances expect me to shoot engagements, senior portraits, baby pictures, family portraits and weddings for FREE.

    Sure... a portrait shoot may only take an hour (weddings are usually all day), but the post-processing takes many hours of tedious, painstaking work and tons of hard drive space.

    The ironic thing is I'm primarily a nature/landscape shooter. I don't like shooting portraits/weddings/events. If it's someone very close to me, I usually acquiesce and do the photos. But casual friends and acquaintances, I just say 'I'm sorry, but I'm really a nature shooter. I can recommend some great colleagues who might be able to help with your needs.' If they push, I just tell them I really don't have time.
  • travisseger
    travisseger Posts: 271 Member
    I am a graphic designer and writer, so I often get approached by friends. They always offer to pay. If it's something small and I have the time, I will usually do it for free. If it's not, I'll give them a discount on my typical freelance rate.
  • Meloyelo2010
    Meloyelo2010 Posts: 171 Member
    I have been taken advantage of when I was running my own Etsy shop. You just gotta put your foot down or demand compensation.

    This.

    Tell them no more unless they are going to pay you for your time at a reasonable rate.

    Yes, there is a line between being a friend and taking advantage. Put your foot down your skills are valuable and deserve to be appreciated whether it be financial or in some other way.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    I would just say something like, "I don't mind helping you out, but I don't know this friend, and I'm busy right now. I'm sorry. I'll talk to you soon."
  • pg3ibew
    pg3ibew Posts: 1,026 Member
    Electrician here. I do electrical work all day/night long.
    I don't want to do electrical work in my own house, why do I want to do it in a friends house. If it is an emergency, I run there, no charge.

    If it is for a stupid light or fan install, I tell them to call an electrician. Get a price. Triple it and then call me.
  • fiberartist219
    fiberartist219 Posts: 1,865 Member
    Give them your going rate, or tell them to figure it out themselves.

    I like to tie dye, and yes, I'll give it away sometimes as gifts. However, when a coworker comes up and says "I have a family reunion on Sunday and we want 50 shirts" I say "here's where I get my dye, and here's the instructions. Good luck!"
  • rjt1000
    rjt1000 Posts: 700 Member
    In full disclosure, if I had a friend who was a massage therapist, it would be a total struggle to not take advantage of his/her skills.

    I have helped a lot of friends with their resumes (in all honesty, the majority of resumes that I see need to be burned, come on people, at least spell check your resume before you turn it in). I helped one friend fix up her resume and talked to her a bit about interview and resume etiquette and I just got an email from her today with her classmate's resume. She preceded to tell me that her classmate has an interview on Friday and gave me a short list of how I can make changes to the document before I send it back to her. In all fairness, she did say please take a look, however, it was in a statement, not a polite question.

    I like helping people out but I also feel like she is taking advantage of me. I kinda want some kind-of reciprocity from her classmate since he is not a friend of mine. Side note, there were misspellings in this resume as well. I have had someone misspell their own name before.

    Anyways, I just wanted to share my little rant and see if any of you go through this too. How do you handle it? Or how would you handle it?

    I'm a network engineer. If I had a nickel for everytime somebody has asked "can you take a look at my personal computer?", I'd be retired. Worked one place where one of the company lawyers kept pulling that on me. I finally told him, bring it over to my house and I'll take care of it while you write wills for me and my wife. He made some little comment about "i usually get paid to write wills..." and I laughed and said "yeah, I usually get paid to clean porn off lawyers computers....."
  • EirePetal
    EirePetal Posts: 54 Member
    So, here is the update. I went to meet my friend and told her that I would do it but that I didn't have a problem helping friends out but that since I didn't know this classmate of hers then perhaps we could trade services (they go to cosmetology school). I talked to him briefly before I left and he said he was willing to give me a free something at some point. They now have an appointment to meet with me on my lunch break tomorrow to over.

    I feel much better. I like helping people but it is easy to let people walk all over me. One of my get healthy goals is to be able to stand up for myself.
  • Nan_
    Nan_ Posts: 83 Member
    Wow. That takes a lot of nerve for her to expect that you will help her friend out for free. If she has all those suggestions then maybe *she* should do it, lol!

    I totally agree with the people that suggested you send your pricing information. If she doesn't understand that, maybe you could explain it like "If you babysat my kids for free as a favor to me, would you then be upset if I brought my friend's kids over the next night and expected you to babysit THEM for free too?"

    Many times, when I do a favor for a friend, I will have them stay with me while I am working through their paperwork. After all, if I am putting in the time, then THEY can too. If they don't have the time to stay, I don't have the time to work. I think it helps them understand the amount of time it takes and it's amazing how they stop being picky about stuff when they are ready to go home. They don't mind ME putting lots of time in on their behalf, but they don't want to do it and so suddenly everything is "good enough" and we're done and they go home!

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