Friends taking advantage of your professional skills...

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  • nikinyx6
    nikinyx6 Posts: 772 Member
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    I have a friend in the process of becoming a personal trainer...I ask her for help and consultation all the time. I think it's mutually beneficial though, as training for her upcoming career. She doesn't seem to mind at least :)
  • UpEarly
    UpEarly Posts: 2,555 Member
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    I'm a photographer. You would not believe how many people among my friends, family and acquaintances expect me to shoot engagements, senior portraits, baby pictures, family portraits and weddings for FREE.

    Sure... a portrait shoot may only take an hour (weddings are usually all day), but the post-processing takes many hours of tedious, painstaking work and tons of hard drive space.

    The ironic thing is I'm primarily a nature/landscape shooter. I don't like shooting portraits/weddings/events. If it's someone very close to me, I usually acquiesce and do the photos. But casual friends and acquaintances, I just say 'I'm sorry, but I'm really a nature shooter. I can recommend some great colleagues who might be able to help with your needs.' If they push, I just tell them I really don't have time.
  • travisseger
    travisseger Posts: 271 Member
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    I am a graphic designer and writer, so I often get approached by friends. They always offer to pay. If it's something small and I have the time, I will usually do it for free. If it's not, I'll give them a discount on my typical freelance rate.
  • Meloyelo2010
    Meloyelo2010 Posts: 171 Member
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    I have been taken advantage of when I was running my own Etsy shop. You just gotta put your foot down or demand compensation.

    This.

    Tell them no more unless they are going to pay you for your time at a reasonable rate.

    Yes, there is a line between being a friend and taking advantage. Put your foot down your skills are valuable and deserve to be appreciated whether it be financial or in some other way.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
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    I would just say something like, "I don't mind helping you out, but I don't know this friend, and I'm busy right now. I'm sorry. I'll talk to you soon."
  • pg3ibew
    pg3ibew Posts: 1,026 Member
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    Electrician here. I do electrical work all day/night long.
    I don't want to do electrical work in my own house, why do I want to do it in a friends house. If it is an emergency, I run there, no charge.

    If it is for a stupid light or fan install, I tell them to call an electrician. Get a price. Triple it and then call me.
  • fiberartist219
    fiberartist219 Posts: 1,865 Member
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    Give them your going rate, or tell them to figure it out themselves.

    I like to tie dye, and yes, I'll give it away sometimes as gifts. However, when a coworker comes up and says "I have a family reunion on Sunday and we want 50 shirts" I say "here's where I get my dye, and here's the instructions. Good luck!"
  • rjt1000
    rjt1000 Posts: 700 Member
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    In full disclosure, if I had a friend who was a massage therapist, it would be a total struggle to not take advantage of his/her skills.

    I have helped a lot of friends with their resumes (in all honesty, the majority of resumes that I see need to be burned, come on people, at least spell check your resume before you turn it in). I helped one friend fix up her resume and talked to her a bit about interview and resume etiquette and I just got an email from her today with her classmate's resume. She preceded to tell me that her classmate has an interview on Friday and gave me a short list of how I can make changes to the document before I send it back to her. In all fairness, she did say please take a look, however, it was in a statement, not a polite question.

    I like helping people out but I also feel like she is taking advantage of me. I kinda want some kind-of reciprocity from her classmate since he is not a friend of mine. Side note, there were misspellings in this resume as well. I have had someone misspell their own name before.

    Anyways, I just wanted to share my little rant and see if any of you go through this too. How do you handle it? Or how would you handle it?

    I'm a network engineer. If I had a nickel for everytime somebody has asked "can you take a look at my personal computer?", I'd be retired. Worked one place where one of the company lawyers kept pulling that on me. I finally told him, bring it over to my house and I'll take care of it while you write wills for me and my wife. He made some little comment about "i usually get paid to write wills..." and I laughed and said "yeah, I usually get paid to clean porn off lawyers computers....."
  • EirePetal
    EirePetal Posts: 54 Member
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    So, here is the update. I went to meet my friend and told her that I would do it but that I didn't have a problem helping friends out but that since I didn't know this classmate of hers then perhaps we could trade services (they go to cosmetology school). I talked to him briefly before I left and he said he was willing to give me a free something at some point. They now have an appointment to meet with me on my lunch break tomorrow to over.

    I feel much better. I like helping people but it is easy to let people walk all over me. One of my get healthy goals is to be able to stand up for myself.
  • Nan_
    Nan_ Posts: 83 Member
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    Wow. That takes a lot of nerve for her to expect that you will help her friend out for free. If she has all those suggestions then maybe *she* should do it, lol!

    I totally agree with the people that suggested you send your pricing information. If she doesn't understand that, maybe you could explain it like "If you babysat my kids for free as a favor to me, would you then be upset if I brought my friend's kids over the next night and expected you to babysit THEM for free too?"

    Many times, when I do a favor for a friend, I will have them stay with me while I am working through their paperwork. After all, if I am putting in the time, then THEY can too. If they don't have the time to stay, I don't have the time to work. I think it helps them understand the amount of time it takes and it's amazing how they stop being picky about stuff when they are ready to go home. They don't mind ME putting lots of time in on their behalf, but they don't want to do it and so suddenly everything is "good enough" and we're done and they go home!
  • Nan_
    Nan_ Posts: 83 Member
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    Oooops, just saw that you posted an update. Good for you and maybe you'll get a haircut out of it or something!
  • melinadanielle
    melinadanielle Posts: 280
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    my friends take advantage of me being a makeup artist all the time!
    between them using my kit makeup, doing their makeup whenever we go out or whatever
    and just using up product (makeup or not) they totally take advantage of me.
    kind of sucks, but hey, when most of your friends are girls what do you expect? aha.
  • KravMark
    KravMark Posts: 308 Member
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    As a martial arts instructor I feel people often try to start fights when they're hanging out w me. They're like , "marks got my back so let me talk crap to that big group of people" ....:( not fun
  • mariagabriella
    mariagabriella Posts: 267 Member
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    when my parents had a restaurant everyone I knew, even people I wasn't close to, assumed they'd get free food/discount.

    sorry but food costs money in case you haven't noticed. and I didn't invite you over anyway.
  • grrrlface
    grrrlface Posts: 1,204 Member
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    I'm a hairdresser, everyone always asks me if I can go round and cut/colour/style their hair for nothing. It's a lot of time and money to lose when you could have a paying client instead. :-\
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
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    i wouldn't do it, just say you don't have time. that is what i would say
  • mishimouse101
    mishimouse101 Posts: 47 Member
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    my friends take advantage of me being a makeup artist all the time!
    between them using my kit makeup, doing their makeup whenever we go out or whatever
    and just using up product (makeup or not) they totally take advantage of me.
    kind of sucks, but hey, when most of your friends are girls what do you expect? aha.

    I used to work with makeup (in a store) and keep my personal supplies hygienic to last longer-I don't dip into a product again after the applicator was on my skin,use fresh clean set of brushes each time especially for each client, etc. I could not have people randomly dipping into the same supplies I would use on clients. I suggest a policy where your professional supplies are only applied by you so that you can keep them clean and organized. If a close friend wants a makeup application before going out together, have a token rate for restocking your supplies and cleaning your tools. If you are doing something elaborate, a higher fee would be fair for your time as long it is agreed upon in advance-so treat your friends a bit like a client and identify what they want and then either do a basic application for a supplies charge or a rave worthy work of art application for a discount after informing them of the options you feel comfortable with. Now if your friends are providing cocktails while getting ready, doing all of the driving, paying for parking, etc, be prepared to acknowledge this and call it a wash.
  • Berto0391
    Berto0391 Posts: 273 Member
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    I'm pretty good with PC's some people try to take advantage of that and expect me to fix their PC for free.

    Now if its my mom and dad and close family sure.

    Now when it comes to friends I give them a discount.
  • EBFNP
    EBFNP Posts: 529 Member
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    I am a nurse practitioner, and family/friends always ask me for medical advise. I send them to their doctor instead. I refuse to get involved in anyone health care...
  • Desterknee
    Desterknee Posts: 1,056 Member
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    I'm a freelance tax preparer. I work for an internet based firm. from Jan-April my phone rings nonstop from people I haven't heard from in ages.

    Small talk... then finally.. so do you still do taxes? I cannot explain how annoying it is. Back when I would help out people, they would then harass me about when their refunds were coming... wtf I'm not the IRS get out of my ****ing face.

    It's been 6 years of this. Drives me mad. Since it's not my main job I just lie and say no I don't do them anymore. Or I don't answer my phone from Jan-April lol

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