Friends taking advantage of your professional skills...

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  • jran3
    jran3 Posts: 105 Member
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    I'm an attorney. I give away free advice all the time to family and friends. Actually taking a case for free? I did it one time, early in my career, and it was a MAJOR mistake. He's no longer a friend, and he was insanely unreasonable in what he expected me to accomplish based on the position he'd already put himself in in his marriage and financially. I'm amazed at how demanding people can be when they're getting free work. An old, wise, friend of mine once said (paraphrasing): "If your friends are really your friends, they wouldn't expect you to work or sell them goods at a discounted price or for free". Since I work for the State now, am no longer in private practice, and I can't practice law outside my job, I refer people to attorneys often. Even that is something I'm considering no longer doing. People are never happy with legal services. They seem to forget that they came to me (or the lawyer) with a problem in the first place, and that I didn't create it! And they don't realize that fixing things legally doesn't always mean getting it fixed just the way they'd imagined in their dream world!

    Bottom line, at least in my profession, when it comes to working for friends, get paid, and get full price, because they're going to expect better than full service! The sad thing about my profession is, you pretty much have to do work for friends, or friends of friends, because like another lawyer bud of mine said "if your friends won't hire you, it's a sure fire bet your enemies won't".
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
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    I'm a computer tech, and I get asked to help out all of the time from friends. Here's my simple rule:

    If it's for your business, or you are going to get some money out of it, I charge (but usually not my normal rate).

    If you ask me all of the time, you better be giving me favors in return, or I start saying "Oh, I'm too busy to do it."

    BTW, your friends classmate isn't your friend, so I would be charging.

    It seems I am on call all the time for my family and friends' computer/gadget needs.
  • Wpbarr
    Wpbarr Posts: 142 Member
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    I don't mind helping my friends, gratis. However, my friends' friends just get a discount ...
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    My aunt is a hair stylist, and every time I have her cut my hair, I make an appointment at her salon, and I pay her the same rate she charges anyone else. She cuts and styles hair for a living; it's not a hobby for her. So I wouldn't feel right about asking her to make special exceptions for me. My sister, on the other hand, just likes to cut people's hair, for whatever reason. She's not a professional, and she doesn't claim to be. So if I need a trim and she's around, I might ask her to do it. I don't pay her, and she doesn't expect me to.

    One of my mom's good friends is a dermatologist, and the same goes for when I need to see him ... I make an appointment, and I pay his standard rate.

    I'm an accountant, and people ask me for tax advice all the time. I don't expect to be paid for it because that's not what I do for a living. I manage an investment portfolio and prepare periodic financial statements for an insurance company. Someday, however, I would like to get into tax consulting, and when I do, I will be clear that my advice is not free anymore.

    I think people don't see services the same way they see products when it comes to asking for favors from friends. Most people would not ask for free groceries if they had a friend who owned a grocery store. They know that the owner of the store has to pay for those products, so if he gives them away for free, he's losing money. But they've got no problem asking their cousin, the electrician, to do some work for them for free because "it's just time and labor," as if those things don't also cost money.
  • Sharyn913
    Sharyn913 Posts: 777 Member
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    Easy, just send her back a quick email with your pricing information.

    This ^^

    I would tell your friend "I'm honored that your resume turned out nice enough that you thought of me for your friend, however, this is my profession. I will gladly do hers, and even offer her a discount off of my normal rate. I have attached a copy of my rates for her to review. Please let me know when to proceed"
  • Sharyn913
    Sharyn913 Posts: 777 Member
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    So, here is the update. I went to meet my friend and told her that I would do it but that I didn't have a problem helping friends out but that since I didn't know this classmate of hers then perhaps we could trade services (they go to cosmetology school). I talked to him briefly before I left and he said he was willing to give me a free something at some point. They now have an appointment to meet with me on my lunch break tomorrow to over.

    I feel much better. I like helping people but it is easy to let people walk all over me. One of my get healthy goals is to be able to stand up for myself.

    Ask for same day service, or you will prob never see or hear from them again! =)
  • Anthonydaman
    Anthonydaman Posts: 854 Member
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    Tell her you charge $40.00 an hour then ask if her friend wants to proceed. real simple, cash rendered for services supplied...

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