One step forward, two steps back...

ffffaaatttt
ffffaaatttt Posts: 37 Member
edited December 26 in Motivation and Support
I keep catching myself falling back into my old ways. I was doing so well, and then I overwhelmed myself with stupid ****, that has nothing to do with my lifestyle change. Then used those things as an excuse, to try to cover up my failures. I need to start all over again. I've maintained my weight loss in the past month... but no further loss. In this month I have tried 3 times to quit smoking and failed miserably each time.


"One's best success comes after his greatest disappointments."


Let's hope this is true... If I really want a lifestyle change then I'm going to have to put more effort into it. Just kinda had to get that out... I don't know many people who are as concern with their health and lifestyle as I am. In fact most of the time people just don't get it. Why wouldn't I want free Ice cream? Just smoke if you want to... Ugh... I need to remember that I have a support group, and I need to Utilize this tool, like I did when I first started. End pity party. lol

Replies

  • LelaYang
    LelaYang Posts: 43
    You can do it if YOU really want it bad enough. Before giving into the temptation, think about the benefits of it. If it's only a temporary benefit, say no. In the long run you will thank yourself for refusing it. It's definitely tough, but with the right mindset and the right environment...you will be able to pull through.
  • Namaste1983
    Namaste1983 Posts: 603 Member
    WE ALL GO THROUGH THIS. IT IS MUCH EASIER TO STAY WHERE YOU ARE COMFORTABLE THAN TO STRUGGLE AND CREATE NEW HABITS. THIS IS GOING TO BE HARD AND THERE WILL BE SETBACKS, BUT YOU CAN DO THIS. YOU HAVE QUIT 3 TIMES? YOU CAN QUIT A 4TH AND FINAL TIME. I QUIT 6 TIMES BEFORE IT FINALLY STUCK. I HAD GASTRIC BYPASS AND ATE THROUGH IT, THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY. IT WON'T BE EASY BUT IT WILL BE WORTH IT.
    YOU'VE GOT THIS
    WE ARE BEHIND YOU
    PUSH THROUGH THIS
    YOU ARE WORTH IT
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2012/02/01/5-steps-after-failing/
  • ZugTheMegasaurus
    ZugTheMegasaurus Posts: 801 Member
    I keep catching myself falling back into my old ways. I was doing so well, and then I overwhelmed myself with stupid ****, that has nothing to do with my lifestyle change. Then used those things as an excuse, to try to cover up my failures.
    This is how I look at it when that happens to me (as it does to just about everyone): I've had way more practice with my old habits and lifestyle than my new ones. Life is a constant; it doesn't stop happening just because you want to focus on something else. If you've lived most of your life dealing with these things while maintaining an unhealthy lifestyle, that's what you know and what you're good at. Of course you'll tend to go back there when something else pulls your focus. It's hard to change your default. But it can be done.

    It's only a failure if you don't learn from it. So you screwed up; it's in the past, no reason to beat yourself up about it now. What you should do is examine what happened and ask, "Why did x lead to that behavior? How can I recognize it next time and what can I do differently?" And try again.
  • jcraig1980
    jcraig1980 Posts: 34
    Weight loss and smoking cessation, both are very difficult. I quit smoking 4 years ago, and it was very hard - everyone else around me still smokes. It took me 3 years to just stop dreaming about smoking. I think that was harder than learning to eat right. Kudos to you for going at them both! Really don't beat yourself up. It's hard and will take time ~ I suggest doing it in small manageable baby steps. You have to want it and you have to want it bad! The rewards really are amazing! Don't let the haters get you down!
  • TheNewLeslie
    TheNewLeslie Posts: 44 Member
    http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2012/02/01/5-steps-after-failing/

    Excellent article - and website in general. Thanks so much for posting!
  • cire1974
    cire1974 Posts: 3
    My favorite quote now is "Just show up" put on your shoes or get one the floor and start to stretch. Promise yourself your going to give yourself 5 minutes today and just show up to work out. If you have a cookie or a second helping, dont berate yourself. Say something positive like the cookie tasted good but I am going to stop here and eat a healthy dinner. Don't let others sabotage your goal but take baby steps to get there

    Good luck and keep positive! You can't change what happened 5 minutes ago, you don't know what will happen tommorow but you have right now! What choice will you make now?:happy:
  • Sharonks
    Sharonks Posts: 884 Member
    Quitting smoking is tough. I've done it several times in my life. Honestly, I wouldn't try t lose weight and quit at the same time. What I would do is quit first. Set a goal to maintain you weight, become a little more active, and quit smoking. If aids help you quit then go for it. I have quit with drugs, patches, gum, and cold turkey. I think the only thing superior about cold turkey is you suffer enough that you don't want to do it again. It has been 11 months since I last had a drag. I actually had quit as a New Year's resolution and made it until a disaster in August that had me smoking until September or so. Then I quit again.

    I think what has made this time work pretty well is I changed my view on smoking. I recognized that I was a drug addict. If I took a single drag then it was like an alcoholic trying to take just one drink or a heroin addict just shooting up once. Very harsh but very true. One drag generally leads to another. Every time you feel like smoking just tell yourself to wait 10 minutes and see how you feel. Believe or not, you probably won't feel that much of an urge after 10 minutes. Once you make it through about 3 days you actually will have fewer and fewer urges. I don't know that they every really totally and completely go away but they get very controllable as time passes.

    I have found that walking helps cut the urge. Take deep breaths. Maybe take up some Kundahlini breathing exercises. Accept that you may gain weight when you quit. Don't use that as an excuse to start again. After a few days I often start doing strenuous exercise. The hard breathing seems to clear my lungs out and I feel so much better. Exercise is also a great stress reliever and you will be less apt to turn to smoking. Due to me exercising instead of smoking I usually don't gain more than 3 lbs. This last time I didn't gain anything.

    Avoid foods that trigger smoking. For some people that means coffee and almost everyone it means alcohol. I was so used to sitting at work and drinking coffee but not being able to smoke it didn't matter (probably a good thing since coffee is one addiction I will never quit).

    It won't take long before you don't care about smoking. By then, exercise will have replaced the smoking. Then you can work on your eating habits. If you try to do everything at once you are more apt to fail at all of them. Pick one change at a time or ones that really compliment each other.
  • Schade805
    Schade805 Posts: 1 Member
    I have to agree with the suggestion of not trying to quit smoking and lose weight at the same time, that is a LOT to deal with.

    I quit smoking about two years ago after several attempts lasting 4 months, 7 months, 2 weeks...the difference this last time is that my self-talk changed. I had used quit aids (patches) when trying to quit before, the time it stuck was when I quit cold turkey because I WAS DONE with this thing. I was so tired of all of the cons of smoking. And unlike my previous attempts, I stopped battling MYSELF. Instead of having to "convince" myself that despite the urges I really didn't want one, I actually finally believed it wholeheartedly...I do not want this, in my life, anymore, period. When you get to that point, that nicotine demon in your head loses its power over you..you stop arguing with it, acknowledge that physically you've got a craving but it will pass, and that is the end of the internal discussion. No more negotiating, obsessing, pleading with oneself. Reading the book "The Easy Way to Stop Smoking" by Allen Carr did help me get in the right mindset to succeed, though I didn't follow his exact suggestions. And I also agree, I just know that I can never ever have a cigarette again or I will be inviting the nicotine monkey on to my back for another long, guilt-ridden, health-risking ride, and I will not do that to myself.

    Next, weight loss. By tracking food and exercise, I lost 35 pounds a few years back and maintained for 2 years. Then I quit smoking. Then I worked 20% overtime for three months, and turned to sugar to fuel me since I didn't have nicotine anymore. I gained 30 back. I had a series of physical limitations (knee effusion, sprained ankle, minor surgery on foot) that kept me from exercising in my regular manner. After having been 30 pounds over for 2 years and having to replace that whole closet that I donated after my first loss, I am committed to taking this weight back off again. And, it is harder this time. I'm older, I can't rely on nicotine to give me false energy, and it is more difficult for me to establish my exercise routines in my current life. It is going to take longer this time. I lost 9 pounds, then went on vacation, then fell off the wagon, and gained 2 back. But, I also completed my very first sprint triathlon this summer. Two steps forward, one step back...it is still movement towards my goals. So today I logged my food again for the first time since the beginning of the month, and I am going to the gym, despite the fact I am going to visit my family next week where I will be faced with dietary temptations galore and likely will sorta blow it....but I WILL keep getting back up off the mat. Because I still have a closet of size 6's that I darn well am going to get back into. As a non-smoker.

    Quitting smoking is the single most important thing you can do for your health. I think if you can succeed at that without gaining weight, that will be a MOMENTOUS accomplishment. I think tracking your food and maintaining, and practicing, the skills you learn by using MFP will help you meet this goal, and cement the positive habits that will carry you to your next goals of losing weight. I wish you the very best, because you are absolutely worth it.
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