Feeling like such a failure

r121567
r121567 Posts: 23 Member
in Motivation and Support
I have been on MFP for 8 weeks today........ during this time I have:
(a) followed the calorie limits exactly. Rarely, if ever, never going over my allotted 1200 calories (I’m not eating my exercise calories at all).
(b) exercised faithfully every day - I started out with Jillian Michaels but moved to Power 90 10 days ago PLUS I am walking on my “Sculpt” days and designated "off" days.
(c) As a “BONUS” I have a lap band so over eating or eating bad carbs is NOT an issue at all! I cannot eat breads, rice or most pasta.

I completely failed at the lap band - I lost 17 lbs at first then gained every bit of it back and now I feel like I am failing at this too. I used to could lose 5 lbs in one weekend but in 8 weeks, I have only lost 10 lbs and the scales are now going back up. I’ve gain 2 lbs back!

YES, I have taken measurements - those are not changing either.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

Replies

  • CoderGal
    CoderGal Posts: 6,800 Member
    I have been on MFP for 8 weeks today........ during this time I have:
    (a) followed the calorie limits exactly. Rarely, if ever, never going over my allotted 1200 calories (I’m not eating my exercise calories at all).
    (b) exercised faithfully every day - I started out with Jillian Michaels but moved to Power 90 10 days ago PLUS I am walking on my “Sculpt” days and designated "off" days.
    (c) As a “BONUS” I have a lap band so over eating or eating bad carbs is NOT an issue at all! I cannot eat breads, rice or most pasta.

    I completely failed at the lap band - I lost 17 lbs at first then gained every bit of it back and now I feel like I am failing at this too. I used to could lose 5 lbs in one weekend but in 8 weeks, I have only lost 10 lbs and the scales are now going back up. I’ve gain 2 lbs back!

    YES, I have taken measurements - those are not changing either.

    WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
    Likely nothing. You have yourself on a very unsustainable diet. You don't eat back your exercise calories if you're staying under 1200 calories so you're likely netting a few hundred calories a day (keeping this up for a long period of time and you'll be considered to have a eating disorder). A healthy women on average is recommended 2000 calories a day by the FDA/Health Canada according to the RDI. Why don't you go on a lower deficit? It's much easier and healthier to keep. For example, I was on a 1200 calorie diet at first. Got sick, got use to it, read about it, got rid of it. Now I tend to eat over 1700 calories a day. I'm now 5'7 and 120 lbs.

    Figure out your BMR
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Basal_metabolic_rate
    Figure out your TDEE
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harris-Benedict_equation
    Eat between those.

    Extended use of restricted diets can mimic thyroid problems. You may want to look into that as a possibility as well.
  • holly1283
    holly1283 Posts: 741 Member
    You are being too hard on yourself and your body. If you are only consuming 1200 calories and not eating back you exercise, you don't have enough fuel for sustaining your body functions. This may be a poor analogy but if you don't have enough oil in your car and keep running it you will burn up your engine. Without gas your car totally stops. You can do this. You only fail when you quit.
  • r121567
    r121567 Posts: 23 Member
    Its actually pretty hard for me to eat more than 1200 calories ~ even if I wanted to.

    With the lap band I am restricted - which is the point of having the lap band! Eat less.

    I try to make the most of what I do eat - I always eat my protein first, sides last. I tend to stick with chicken or fish, I'm not much for red meat.

    My SNACKING is nuts (sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, etc), fruit or jerky.

    Its not like after I reach a goal weight, I will start eating more - I physically cannot do it.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,029 Member
    Truthfully, if you physically can't eat more than 1200 calories, then you need to just stick to exercise that DOESN'T burn a lot of calories. Walking a mile or 2 or just a couple of sets of pushup and pull ups with some squats. That's it.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Halleeon
    Halleeon Posts: 309 Member
    I agree with CoderGal and NinerBuff - I understand you cannot yet eat more foods, but, perhaps you should keep trying to? How long are you post surgery? I know that at some point, you can eat more (healthy) foods than at the start of the surgery, so perhaps just keep that in mind?

    I also agree that building lean muscle will probably help you out a lot as far as losing fat and inches.

    Since you have had a WLS, I would also say, make an appointment with your nutritionist, go to some WLS support groups in your area and jump on some WLS forums to gain even more experience and information from more people in your situation.

    Talk to your Dr.
  • r121567
    r121567 Posts: 23 Member
    WLS was three years ago and a HUGE waste of money!

    I can eat but only about the portion of a lean cuisine meal. I feel like I am eating all of the time but still not hitting the calorie mark. I'm not sure I even want to hit the calorie mark. I've had great success in the past by not eating - eating more, rather than less, scares the *$%& out of me!

    I want to lose weight so badly that I have considered a revision surgery to the gastric sleeve. I would have my mouth wired shut if that were the answer! I had high hopes for a healthy diet and exercise but now I am thinking I should revert back to my old ways of simply not eating.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    you need to be more moderate in your approach instead of swinging wildly between between what i assume used to be overeating to completely not eating.. obviously neither one has worked so why would you want to go back? obviously your "success" in the past wasnt a success if you gain the weight back..

    if what you are doing isnt working then logic dictates that your try something different. try it the MFP way and eat back your exercise calories.
  • Halleeon
    Halleeon Posts: 309 Member
    Discuss with your Dr. about switching to the sleeve, if that will work better for you - by all means, do what you got to do.

    Imho, though, it really sounds like you need to seek our some professional counseling and work on some of the emotions and possible obsessions you are experiencing. I have definitely read that our emotional well being, and stress, can cause us to gain weight/not be able to lose...but also, it just sounds like you are really, really frustrated and could use someone to help you really work through that.

    And if you haven't already, make sure you aren't missing something medically, like a thyroid issue, for example.

    Best of luck.
  • Halleeon
    Halleeon Posts: 309 Member
    Oh an btw...when I read this "My SNACKING is nuts (sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, etc), fruit or jerky." I shook my head.

    To me, it looked like nuts (how many?), nuts = good fats, but not something you should be eating all the time, fruit - sugar and jerky...to me sounds like sodium.

    Why not switch to additional protein sources and veggies as snacks?
  • r121567
    r121567 Posts: 23 Member
    Maybe I am NOT a failure after all..........

    (1) I switched back to the type of workout I started out with and almost immediately dropped 2 lbs. (I *LOVE* Jillian Michaels!)

    (2) I saw my doctor who was very concerned that I had a hysterectomy last year but had opted to not take hormone replacement therapy. He ordered a panel of blood tests which I got the results of today - my hormones are quite a bit out of whack!

    There may be a medical reason for my slow weight loss and depression!

    Going back to doc next week.

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