Hating on dating

Do you think it could be because people aren't really sure what they want, or if they are, whether they can attain it? I met my husband when I was 30, so I was single/dating for a long time, and I think a lot of relationships that seemed to be kinda dragging along artifically were because the person almost wasn't sure what they wanted - or maybe even weren't sure if they should settle for a mediocre relationship because they weren't sure they'd find someone that fit them better. I'm not commenting on my or my dates' personal value, just the fact that we didn't make a great pair, but maybe weren't sure that it wasn't "as good as it gets."

Another theory is that some people just like to stay in a relationship until something better comes along because they like having an *ahem* partner, if you know what I mean. To be frank, a standing bootie call. Not that this is by any means everyone, but certainly some. And on a similar but more platonic note, some people are just so desparate for friends (I was, at one point) that they prolong a mediocre relationship just to have someone to talk to and hang out with.

I don't think that your expectations are so unrealistic. What I think it actually is is that you've matured since you dated last, and you can see the more absurd parts of dating and the sillier side of people for what they really are.

I found that dating just wore me out. I got to where I really hated it, especially online dating. I decided to take a break from dating, and just enjoy being single for a while. I've told someone this before, but I don't think it was you. I decided to be a "renaissance woman" and learn all sorts of new stuff, and go to all sorts of events, and just be the happy, cute single girl. I dragged friends and coworkers along, and sometimes, for fun, made my goal for the night to find and introduce my single gal friends to every single guy I could find. Basically, made it my quest to find THEM a date. And you know what? *I* got more dates than they did (well, more offers for dates, most of which I turned down). I think just cause it was clear I was happy, having fun, fairly free of baggage, and not trying to be anything that I'm not. And that is how I met my husband, who is SO much more perfect for me than anyone I've ever dated or found online etc.

It's just an idea. Concentrate on having fun, and going out and just being you, etc. And between the fact that you're pretty, well spoken, clever and funny, and with your new totally cute (and continuing to get cuter) figure, the right guy won't be able to resist. I think the most important part of all is to be confident and not care how people perceive you. I walked right up to the stranger who would be my husband and introduced my friend and myself to him (well, actually only introduced myself, because as I introduced and motioned toward my friend, she was suddenly hightailing it across the room, away from us).

I really do think the harder you try to get into the dating scene, the worse it tends to go. I know that's not universally the case, but I think it's a fairly accurate generalization. All that said, good luck, it gets better