Why do I want friends to notice?

jumatwins
jumatwins Posts: 74
in Motivation and Support
Ok...to try and make a lomg story short: why does it bother me so much that some of my close friends are not noticing or saying anything about my loss weight? I lost 14 pds and pretty close to my goal. I was 132, and now 118. I was wearing a size 8-10, now wearing 3-4. I workout (which I wasn't before). I eat healthy. I'm proud of what I have accomplished so far. That should be enough right? Well how come I feel down because some people are not encouraging me?
I just came back from one of my close friends that I haven't seen in maybe one month. I had already started to lose weight when I last saw her. Today, she just mentionned:" oh I saw your picture on facebook, it was really funny!" ( i had put a funny picture of me being very happy to start my vacation). Then:" you "looked" very cut on that picture, it was like I hadn't seen you in months". Then I just said: "well, I do workout.." her reply:"yes, but.." and that was it...
My interpretation is:" yes, but you don't look as cut as you did on the picture..". And maybe she is right. Maybe the way the picture was taken, ( and it was just my upper body - mostly my arms showing) it was showing more muscles than in reality. I am not a "muscular" person, I still have some % of body fat to lose, but still, I love the way my arms are starting to get "cut". I guess I was just hoping she would've said something when she saw me arrive.something like:" wow, you look good! It really shows that you lost weight and are working out" or something like that. But no. And it bothers me.
And now it bothers me that it bothered me ..!?, lol!
I don't want to do this just for other people to notice!
Anyways... I just had to "vent" a little it about this... And did not know who to talk to...so I wrote it here...
Thanks for reading
:happy:

Replies

  • thrld
    thrld Posts: 610 Member
    Other than my spouse, not many people have noticed my weight loss either (23lbs). I don't know if it is because I'm still wearing a lot of the same clothes, or because everything is a little baggy (and I never wore tight clothing to begin with). Or it's just you get an image in your mind and stick with it --kinda like how caricatures don't look exactly like the person, but we always know who they are supposed to be. Maybe those features that they remember are the ones that haven't changed, therefore they don't see the change?
    When I'm feeling a little down I think it's because I have more to lose -- but usually I tell myself it's because I carried the extra weight well, and the clothing I wore hid my problem areas so well that they were invisible to those around me.
  • pattyproulx
    pattyproulx Posts: 603 Member
    That's surprising you haven't received more comments than you have considering how drastic the change has been size (8-10 to 3-4).

    However, some people just are less comfortable talking about weight to other people. For some reason, I'm always nervous asking someone if they lost weight or telling them they look really good (I really don't know why and I try to make an effort when I notice).

    There could be a number of other reasons too.

    As for it bothering you that people aren't noticing, I can definitely relate. It feels really good to have people notice and say stuff (though I often get uncomfortable at the same time, haha). You're proud of what you've accomplished and you want to show it off a bit and have people! No problem with that at all.
  • Jexebel
    Jexebel Posts: 67
    Maybe they just don't wanna mention it. I know some people have noticed my weight loss and mentioned it and while I do appreciate it, I sort of wish no one would mention it. I'm not sure why, it's just awkward for me. I don't like having attention brought to me and I don't really know what to say when someone says 'Wow, you've lost weight!" Thanks, but now I know you thought I was fat. I already knew everyone knew I was fat but still, now you've made it official. It makes sense in my head ok?! lol

    Whether or not people mention it, it's probabyl true that they do notice it.
  • marissah2005
    marissah2005 Posts: 15 Member
    If it's any consolation - you just became my inspiration.
    I started at 136 and my goal is to get to 110-115. I've been wearing a size 10 and decided to make a change when I found myself considering trying on a size 12 because 10 was getting too tight. I know those numbers don't mean a whole lot to most people but I am 4'11 (5.2 with my heels on) and even a little weight fluctuation shows a whole lot on me.

    I didn't do this with close friends - but we did announce to our extended family that my hubs and I were trying to start on a healthy lifestyle and that they were welcome to congratulate us if they noticed physical changes on either of us. We haven't gotten any compliments yet (except from each other) but we've been to one birthday party where we had home-made turkey burgers and there was no cake in sight.

    Family is different but; sometimes you just have to remind people that it feels good to get a pat in the back every now and then.

    Oh BTW - congratulations on your weight loss.

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