Kind of frustrating, can you relate?

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RedHeadDevotchka
RedHeadDevotchka Posts: 1,394 Member
in Motivation and Support
My husband is a really dedicated and motivated guy with regard to working out. He actually used to compete in body building shows (before he met me) and has been working out for the past 16 years or so. He's got a degree in health and fitness that would qualify him to train as a personal trainer to the normal person and do strength coaching to athletes, etc. (I'm getting to a point I promise). I think it's great and he's the one who ultimately first got me involved in strength training to begin with and the person I will usually go to when I have questions about my form or the benefits of one exercise over another.

However, this actually can cause problems. Things like, he doesn't eat vegetables or fruits at all. I don't think I've seen him eat these ever. I try to force him sometimes and he knows that he should, but he doesn't. Also, he'll try to get me to eat unhealthy food with him sometimes if I want to eat healthy because he doesn't like to be the only one eating bad. Also, many times he just wants me to spend time with him instead of going to the gym, even though I will go when he's asleep usually (he sleeps really early and I am a night owl). He makes me feel guilty for going sometimes, if I decide I want to go right after work because we don't spend alot of time together due to semi conflicting work schedules. It's like, are you serious? You went to school for this, you should know why it's important!

All in all, he's been a big help, but DANG! Makes me so frustrated sometimes. I know he just wants to spend time with me, and after years of dieting from competing he's not into being overboard with it. I'm not looking for suggestions on how to fix him, I just wanted to rant a little and more like can anyone relate or have a similar situation?

Replies

  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
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    I can't relate, but I think it's sweet that he just wants to be with you :) That said, I would still keep doing what you're doing, but occasionally make it a point to "give in" and just stay home with him instead of going to the gym!
  • Fish_Hook
    Fish_Hook Posts: 18
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    I know the feeling, mine is a quite different situation though! My wife is not supportive at all, so I get nothing but complains, for eating differently then her, or when I go to workout. Just do the best you can and Stay Strong, have the same hope I do.....He/She will come around!
  • pattyproulx
    pattyproulx Posts: 603 Member
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    To me, it sounds like he knows what you're doing is healthy and it makes him feel like crap a bit that he's not really doing the same. It's like every time you do healthy things around him (eat vegetables, head out to the gym, etc) it's a reminder to him that he should probably be doing the same.
    So, instead of joining you (which can be a lot of work), it's easier for him to just try to discourage you from doing it and getting on your case about it so that you do it less. (I know I've done it in the past - though I don't really know why -, and I have it done to me all the time by friends)

    I think the worst thing you can do is give in. Then that would encourage his behaviour.

    Your best bet would probably try to get in a routine so that he knows to expect that you're going to the gym at a certain time every day.
  • ckane22312
    ckane22312 Posts: 21 Member
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    That would be frustrating. My husband use to compete in semi pro weight lifting. But that was before we met. He doesn't workout so much anymore, but he wants too. We just can't afford a gym membership right now. (I just workout at home). I am grateful for his encouragement. But, unlike you, I use to hate working out. I am learning to enjoy it :)

    Well, keep up the good work. You are doing an amazing job!
  • tbolashana
    tbolashana Posts: 2,707 Member
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    That is terrible. My husband didn't like veggies either, but i made it a pointto put it on the plate anyway and eventually, after years of not eating them, now he does. It took years to train him, but now he is finally on board. He says he still doesn't like them but he eats them at least. I think it just takes time. My hubby and I have been together for 12 years and after about 10 years he has finally come round. Just stay consistent and maybe he will come around too.

    My hubby even started working out and lost 35 lbs.

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