Dating

shannajojo
shannajojo Posts: 192 Member
edited December 26 in Chit-Chat
Has your love life improved since you lost weight? I have been single for a while, and wonder if I don't get asked out because I'm overweight.

Replies

  • HornsUT32
    HornsUT32 Posts: 146 Member
    I have discovered through losing weight that it is not that men don't find over weight women attractive, but it is our lack of self confidence that makes us undesirable. Sure, not all men like women that have a little extra to love on haha, but all men DO like a confident women. There are men out there for everyone, you just have to believe you deserve it.

    I havent dated in a while, and have had an ex that comes in and out of my life on a pretty regular basis. I was ok with that before, but now...I have discovered that if I demand more, I will get more. He treated me that way because I let him. I let him because I was so unhappy with myself, that I didn't think I could do better. Now, I am being selfish and I am taking "me" time. I want to get comfortable in my own skin..and when I can do that, then I will find the right guy. Until then, I am not wasting anymore time in a bad relationship. If that means that I have to stay single for the next 6 months, then it will be worth it to be treated the right way.

    Like I said, its not that men are not attracted to you, it is that you probably don't believe in yourself. I told everyone I was happy with my size and didn't care what people thought, yet I was so unhappy inside. I just wasn't ready to admit it to myself yet.
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
    I have discovered through losing weight that it is not that men don't find over weight women attractive, but it is our lack of self confidence that makes us undesirable. Sure, not all men like women that have a little extra to love on haha, but all men DO like a confident women. There are men out there for everyone, you just have to believe you deserve it.

    I havent dated in a while, and have had an ex that comes in and out of my life on a pretty regular basis. I was ok with that before, but now...I have discovered that if I demand more, I will get more. He treated me that way because I let him. I let him because I was so unhappy with myself, that I didn't think I could do better. Now, I am being selfish and I am taking "me" time. I want to get comfortable in my own skin..and when I can do that, then I will find the right guy. Until then, I am not wasting anymore time in a bad relationship. If that means that I have to stay single for the next 6 months, then it will be worth it to be treated the right way.

    Like I said, its not that men are not attracted to you, it is that you probably don't believe in yourself. I told everyone I was happy with my size and didn't care what people thought, yet I was so unhappy inside. I just wasn't ready to admit it to myself yet.

    this. and men (and women) are also shallow.
  • camrunner
    camrunner Posts: 363
    Not as much as I would have hoped. I think I still have the self-esteem of a fat kid, and it's pretty obvious.
  • shannajojo
    shannajojo Posts: 192 Member
    Granted, yes, I don't like my weight, but I wouldn't say I lack confidence. I like who I am, but I want to be healthy in all ways. I know people are shallow, I can be shallow at times. I also don't have an adventurous personality. Most guys I know like women that are outgoing and adventurous, and I'm an introvert to the core. I'm the strong, silent type of person. I seem quiet at first meeting, but I voice my opinions and engage in conversation, usually when someone engages in conversation with me first. I feel like I get overlooked by my other girlfriends who are super outgoing, bubbly, and friendly. Just because I'm an introvert doesn't mean I'm boring, shy, fridid,or bashful.
  • I have discovered through losing weight that it is not that men don't find over weight women attractive, but it is our lack of self confidence that makes us undesirable. Sure, not all men like women that have a little extra to love on haha, but all men DO like a confident women. There are men out there for everyone, you just have to believe you deserve it.

    I havent dated in a while, and have had an ex that comes in and out of my life on a pretty regular basis. I was ok with that before, but now...I have discovered that if I demand more, I will get more. He treated me that way because I let him. I let him because I was so unhappy with myself, that I didn't think I could do better. Now, I am being selfish and I am taking "me" time. I want to get comfortable in my own skin..and when I can do that, then I will find the right guy. Until then, I am not wasting anymore time in a bad relationship. If that means that I have to stay single for the next 6 months, then it will be worth it to be treated the right way.

    Like I said, its not that men are not attracted to you, it is that you probably don't believe in yourself. I told everyone I was happy with my size and didn't care what people thought, yet I was so unhappy inside. I just wasn't ready to admit it to myself yet.
  • legs_n_bacon
    legs_n_bacon Posts: 478 Member
    I have discovered through losing weight that it is not that men don't find over weight women attractive, but it is our lack of self confidence that makes us undesirable. Sure, not all men like women that have a little extra to love on haha, but all men DO like a confident women. There are men out there for everyone, you just have to believe you deserve it.

    I havent dated in a while, and have had an ex that comes in and out of my life on a pretty regular basis. I was ok with that before, but now...I have discovered that if I demand more, I will get more. He treated me that way because I let him. I let him because I was so unhappy with myself, that I didn't think I could do better. Now, I am being selfish and I am taking "me" time. I want to get comfortable in my own skin..and when I can do that, then I will find the right guy. Until then, I am not wasting anymore time in a bad relationship. If that means that I have to stay single for the next 6 months, then it will be worth it to be treated the right way.

    Like I said, its not that men are not attracted to you, it is that you probably don't believe in yourself. I told everyone I was happy with my size and didn't care what people thought, yet I was so unhappy inside. I just wasn't ready to admit it to myself yet.

    I could have written this about myself.
  • NEVER give up on finding love. It's always worth it in the end.
  • stagknight
    stagknight Posts: 130 Member
    A man doesn't care if you have a fuller figure, it is more to grab hold of, what is off putting is so skinny that all there is are bones sticking out, no man wants to be bruised hugging his girl.
  • MissC787
    MissC787 Posts: 175 Member
    This is an OBSERVATION.

    Being one that went out frequently with friends of all sizes, while skinny, and over weight.... If I wasn't "feeling it" #1. I wasn't having as much fun as I usually do. #2. I would sit, and sip my drink, not trying to be very social.

    However, If I were into it.... #1. I had a better time, and danced all night. #2. Random guys would either squeeze in, and try to dance with me. Or, they would just simply approach me. Some would ask if they could join my party. Others would ask if I could join theirs.

    It doesn't matter what you look like. If your having a good time You will be approached. People simply look to have a good time.
  • Brandicaloriecountess
    Brandicaloriecountess Posts: 2,126 Member
    Dating, no. I did not have a problem meeting and dating people even when I was fat. But I didn't really ever lack self confidence either. Probably because I never felt, or saw myself as being as big as I was lol!! I actually dated a few guys I considered "out of my league"

    However I get more attention from random men now, more people talk to me, look smile etc. I think it's like before people got to know me and wanted to date me, where as now people see me and want to get to know me. If that makes sense.
  • mgobluetx12
    mgobluetx12 Posts: 1,326 Member
    I used to weigh 80lbs more than I do now I and got asked out MORE before I lost weight. It's not the weight...a lot of guys are into the BBW type.
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