Lack of Support
Barberini
Posts: 140 Member
Ugh, I really just need to get this off my chest.
First of all, I am a military spouse stationed overseas so my friends are more those that are there by chance, and not necessarily ones I would have chosen for myself, and all my closest and most supportive friends (aside from my husband, who is wonderful) are all thousands of miles away in a different time zone.
Today is day 6 of my p90x journey, and it also happens to be a beautiful sunny day here in Germany. I went out shopping with my friends this morning and afterwards they all decided that they wanted to go outside and lay in the sun. I told them that I was going to go home instead to get my workout in before a get together we are all going to this evening. My friends were trying to pressure me to just skip the workout "it is only one day, it doesn't matter", "you can do it tomorrow", etc.
I feel like they don't understand that it is important to me to stick to this program that I have committed to for the next 90 days. I am in my FIRST WEEK and I feel that I can't commit to it 100% now then how am I ever going to possibly make it through the next 90 days (well, 84 days now)? Some of them understand kind of what the program entails and why I need to do my workouts on the days they are scheduled for, in order to get the most out of the program, but for the most part they don't get it.
I told them that it wasn't negotiable, and I went home and will be doing my workout very shortly once my lunch goes down. Am I being too sensitive? I am expecting too much of these people who I don't know all that well? Is it even worth trying to make them understand why this is important to me? I am going to try switching to AM workouts so that my committment to the program doesn't interfere with my social life, but this is important to me so I would hope that they would respect that.
Phew. Vent over.
First of all, I am a military spouse stationed overseas so my friends are more those that are there by chance, and not necessarily ones I would have chosen for myself, and all my closest and most supportive friends (aside from my husband, who is wonderful) are all thousands of miles away in a different time zone.
Today is day 6 of my p90x journey, and it also happens to be a beautiful sunny day here in Germany. I went out shopping with my friends this morning and afterwards they all decided that they wanted to go outside and lay in the sun. I told them that I was going to go home instead to get my workout in before a get together we are all going to this evening. My friends were trying to pressure me to just skip the workout "it is only one day, it doesn't matter", "you can do it tomorrow", etc.
I feel like they don't understand that it is important to me to stick to this program that I have committed to for the next 90 days. I am in my FIRST WEEK and I feel that I can't commit to it 100% now then how am I ever going to possibly make it through the next 90 days (well, 84 days now)? Some of them understand kind of what the program entails and why I need to do my workouts on the days they are scheduled for, in order to get the most out of the program, but for the most part they don't get it.
I told them that it wasn't negotiable, and I went home and will be doing my workout very shortly once my lunch goes down. Am I being too sensitive? I am expecting too much of these people who I don't know all that well? Is it even worth trying to make them understand why this is important to me? I am going to try switching to AM workouts so that my committment to the program doesn't interfere with my social life, but this is important to me so I would hope that they would respect that.
Phew. Vent over.
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Replies
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You're not being too sensitive. I am going thru something like this at work and I just won't compromise my success for other people. I just don't understand why it is so hard for people not to be supportive. If my friend told me she was going to go workout instead of hlying in the sun I would respond with a "atta girl" or "way to go badass" or something uplifing and supporting.0
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I don't know why people find it so hard either! Thank you, Christine. It really helps to know I am not alone in this, and that there are like minded people out there who just want to better themselves! And on that note, I am off to do my Kenpo X workout.
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I applaud you for not giving in to your friends. You are doing the right thing. A lot of people dont know how to support. We are here for you.0
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Remember that this is a great opportunity to set a good example for them. You're proving tht you follow through on your commitments - not just to the world but to yourself. The only real reason to skip a day would be illness.0
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Lots of people don't get it. Most likely, they have never really embarked on something like what you are doing, and if they exercise, they just squeeze it in when they can. (there is an off chance that they are trying to sabotage you, but its not necessarily likely. just be aware that some people do get like that.)
Don't be discouraged - you are the one who is going to be inspirational here. Its only week 1 now, but in week 4 or 5, those same friends are going to be asking you how you do it, how you stay so motivated, how you are accomplishing these remarkable feats.
In the meantime, you have tons of support right here on MFP!!!
GO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!0 -
You do what u feel u need to do and stick with it. Fact is that working out is not for everyone. Don't be pressured by anyone not to wo. Keep up the great work. 0
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way to go for you! At least your husband is supportive, and now you have the support of others that are also trying to make it. My husband isn't supportive, and I work long hours on top of taking care of the household! But I believe with support and willpower I will be able to do it! You just need to have the mind set that you aren't going to give up, you are going to do this, and tell yourself, when something tempts you to skip the workout, that you will reward yourself with something after your workout that you equally enjoy! Perhaps a nice long bath, or going and laying outside with a good book and some music. Just because people who are in your life, either by choice or chance, aren't supportive, doesn't mean that you have to give up on your workout, and goals in life.....
Even if you don't have the support of everyone in Germany, you do all accross the nation!0 -
I think you're over analyzing it. They're being a little thoughtless most likely not intentionally. I don't think many people realize when applying peer pressure that that's what they're doing. It's too bad too. I doubt they realized they were making things harder on you. Good for you sticking with it though and not caving.0
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HI! I understand were you are coming from,I friends the same way they think that's all i think about,My husband and daughter are wonderful,Isay to myself thats all that matters.If you need support feel free to add me0
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There will come a time when you may skip a workout for any number of reasons. But, you are wise in sticking to the program early on. Until exercise becomes a "given" in your life, you may find it hard to stick with it unless you build that discipline now.
Your friends may not get it for a variety of reasons, but don't let that get to you. Just smile, wave, and say "see ya' tonight at the party". . .and then get your sweat on!!0 -
I am a retired military wife and I know just what you're going through. It is really hard sometimes to 'fit in' and still do the things you want to do for yourself. I actually never really fit in because I generally did my own thing. I made a couple close friends each time we'd move but for the most part, I did my own thing. You sound strong and that's good. You need to be strong and not give in on what you're trying to achieve. I doubt those women are trying to sabotage you. They're just doing their thing or whatever they've gone along with the crowd to do. Hang with them when you can and do something else when you have to. Sorry, but that's all I can tell you. It sure isn't an easy life for a military spouse. Best of luck and thank you for your sacrifices! 8)0
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First congratulations at not giving in and staying with your friends to sun. WAY TO GO!!!! Second, did your friends get upset with you that you left or were they okay with it. If they were okay with it then I wouldn't look at this situation any other way then them just enjoying your company and not wanting it to end. Now on the other hand, if they were snide about it or upset that you left, then that is when I would look at it as being unsupporting friends. Again WTG on your dedication to working out and staying on this journey to health and fitness :drinker:0
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Thanks everyone, I really appreciate your input and encouragement. 520 calories burnt during my workout, so I am certain I did the right thing!0
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It's good you take the lead and stay committed. Good for you! You will be glad that you did.:)0
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Its tough when the people you surround yourself with arent supportive. I experience the same thing with friends and family. Honestly though i dont think they meant anything by it. I think they just wanted to hang out some more. They probably dont understand how important it is to you. A friend told me the other day "just skip the morning class, dont you go in the evening anyway". I didnt get upset i just told her " Yeah, but i have to do both, i have to stick to my schedule or i wont reach my goals". She understood that and we went on talking about something else. Sometimes we want the people around us to feel the same way we do about things or to understand where we are coming from and sometimes they misunderstand us or we misunderstand them. Just tell them whats up ...if they are your friends it will be no big deal and they may even get interested in what you are doing.0
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