So, I married an Italian

2»

Replies

  • mirandamayhem
    mirandamayhem Posts: 772
    Marrying an Italian is NOT GOOD for my waistline. I was doing fab fab fab yesterday and then Grandma Casablanca called and asked us to go to a home-cooked dinner. Pounds of pasta and meatballs later, I obliterated my goals for the day -- and not in a good way!

    Any tips for portion control when your grandmother-in-law is insisting you eat more?

    you should push for a trip to Italy....I am sure you will see how different, and healthy, real Italian food is. You're talking about American food, like every ethnic based food, Americans amp it up.

    I haven't been to Italy, but would appreciate it if you would try to fit me into your luggage.


    I was going to say this. A true Mediterranean diet is wonderful, fresh pastas yes, but huge salads and healthy pizzas.
    But it's ok, I've seen Man V Food, I've seen that American Italian stuff, and it looks good! Huge! But good! :laugh:
  • laurenz2501
    laurenz2501 Posts: 839 Member
    I grew up with Italians on one side and Jews on the other. I have no tips except to just keep saying no until they stop.

    And keep in mind, while they're pushing that food at you, the second you gain an ounce, they're going to start telling you you're too fat. And then offer you a cookie. And insist you eat it.

    SOOOO TRUE!!! I'm half Italian and i couldn't have said this better myself!!! SPOT ON!!!
  • laurenz2501
    laurenz2501 Posts: 839 Member
    I completely understand where you're coming from with the Italian thing, but my mom is not Italian at all (Dad is), and every single time I go to her house she has Thanksgiving ready to go. The last time she cooked, she literally made 2 starches. 2!! And she ALWAYS has dessert. She will tell me she bought me a cake or made me a pie. JUST FOR ME! It makes me not want to go to her house for dinner anymore. I'd rather go out so that she doesn't feel bad because she made dessert that no one will eat. I feel bad, because she loves doing it, and does it out of love and has for her whole life. It makes me want to cry.
  • ohmariposa
    ohmariposa Posts: 372 Member
    My Irish MIL is just the same. She had us over for dinner the other day and made 2 pies for dessert...what the....I guess we have to just learn to politely decline food. She always takes offense though....
  • SPNLuver83
    SPNLuver83 Posts: 2,050 Member
    My husband is Italian, but thankfully, well kinda, his mother lives in New Mexico lol.

    You just gotta have that willpower woman!!!! They might fight ya when you say no, but deep down they respect you for having a backbone lol
  • Tat2dDom624
    Tat2dDom624 Posts: 1,226 Member
    I'm 100 % Eye-talian, and my grandmother (may she RIP), used to constantly tell me to eat more, even after i would stuff my face. But when she made her signature guinea meal, she would fry up some meatballs and put them on the side for me. She also made a KILLER eggplant parmigiana, which i miss. :frown:
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    Family get-togethers were always so fun to me.
    But as a married person, I have learned....don't let extended (those outside your marriage) family members take the reigns of your life in any way, shape or form!
    YOU take the reigns of your schedule, dietary habits, children (when you have them), household etc, etc...
    Do you WANT an in-law to dictate to you what you will eat that day? Well then???
    One way to handle it is to simply hook up with them right after the meal...for whatever timeframe you and husband decide is best for you.
    If they don't like the schedule that you have to offer, another plan or another day will have to do.
    Others will have to adjust. Period.
    You can communicate this will all due respect. And you don't have to be manipulated it they decide to have an attutude about it.
    Enjoy your time with your extended family, on terms you can agree to.
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    My husband is Italian, but thankfully, well kinda, his mother lives in New Mexico lol.

    You just gotta have that willpower woman!!!! They might fight ya when you say no, but deep down they respect you for having a backbone lol
    Love it:heart:
  • DominiqueSmall
    DominiqueSmall Posts: 495 Member
    Marrying an Italian is NOT GOOD for my waistline. I was doing fab fab fab yesterday and then Grandma Casablanca called and asked us to go to a home-cooked dinner. Pounds of pasta and meatballs later, I obliterated my goals for the day -- and not in a good way!

    Any tips for portion control when your grandmother-in-law is insisting you eat more?

    you should push for a trip to Italy....I am sure you will see how different, and healthy, real Italian food is. You're talking about American food, like every ethnic based food, Americans amp it up.

    I haven't been to Italy, but would appreciate it if you would try to fit me into your luggage.

    Well, I have been to Italy a number of times (note that my names end in vowels). I've also been to France and Sicily. All Mediterranean cultures have fantiastic food. But, there are three things that the Italians who came to the U.S. lost as the generations Americanized. First, vegetables are a huge part of the Mediterranean diet and while pasta is indeed eaten almost every day by everyone in Italy, it is more of a side dish, not a main dish. The Italian-Americans somehow came to have pasta as the main meal. There are theories out ther like the cost of produce and meat vs. the cost of pasta and let's face it, most if not all of the immigrants were poor (who leaves a country when s/he is doing well?). But,it's a departure from what Italian cuisine really is.

    The second factor is portion size. Yes, they tend to walk more, etc. But very simply, they eat less. They do not have "super sized" anything and when they eat, it's a mixture of starch, vegetable and sometimes protein. This tends to lower the glycemic effect of the starch they eat, too because the vegetables and protein slow the rate of digestion of the starch.

    Finally, the freshness of the food matters. They don't eat canned vegetables, etc. The fresher the food, the more nutrients it has, the slower the digestion rate, and the fuller you feel after eating it.

    This is why the "Mediterranean diet" works. It's not a "diet" at all, it's a way of life - a delicious way of life.

    ^^^^ Totally agree. I am from France and I can tell you they eat exactly like this poster said. I think there is one other thing that we have to take in account in America. Our food here is processed in a way that is unhealthy. For instance, I can drink French Expresso with no problems but American Expresso kills me. Much of our food is not pure, and it loaded with chemicals and addictive ingredients which in turns feeds our addictions.

    I absolutely agree that the diet of Eurpeans is far healthier than ours.

    Good luck with your new family. I'm sure you will find a graceful, honest way to work around their wonderful food!
  • Avandel
    Avandel Posts: 283 Member
    <quote>I would normall go back for seconds on the pasta because theres nothing like homemade italian sauce</quote>

    It's not necessarily the homemade sauce, it's the pasta! As long as the sauce doesn't have meat in it it's quit low in calories but only 2 oz of pasta at 300 cals is what makes it high, so I buy Dreamfield's pasta to cut the cals.:smile:
  • F__7
    F__7 Posts: 371 Member
    if it is not an everyday thing.. then I would eat the heck of everything I can... at least that that is good... in the big picture.. sometimes you lack of some carbs/protein during the week..

    Besides, if you are already working out.. why worry that much.... enjoy it... enjoy family....enjoy life!!!
  • Owlie45
    Owlie45 Posts: 806 Member
    Try leaving a bit on your plate. In some cultures if you empty your plate that means you have room for more.
  • mariapg25
    mariapg25 Posts: 48 Member
    stop inserting it in your throat? I never heard that phrase before!

    So, I am Italian-American and I go to Italy every 2-3 years. You just don't see too many fat Italians (at least NOTHING like here in the states). The difference? They don't snack, they walk all the time and they eat fresh, fresh food with lots of veggies. Yes, they pull it all out when you go visit them but under normal circumstances, they don't eat many sweets and they eat pretty light. Like someone else said, the food there is totally different! Lighter, more fish, lots of vegetables.

    ^^^^^^Agreed!!! I was born and raised in Italy..you are completely right there aren't many over weight Italians. As for not to offend your nonna-in-law, just say you had a late lunch and you can only have a little bit. And tell her you are watching your figure for her grandson...LOL..(she'll eat that up)
  • Irish_eyes75
    Irish_eyes75 Posts: 475
    I guess its better than an "axe murderer" ;) hehehe You kind of have to develop thick skin. I'm Italian & Irish...so I totally get what you're sayin. I wish you luck!
  • Afterblue
    Afterblue Posts: 78 Member
    There are a lot of cultures that think of feeding you as a sign of showing love because of the love and care that went into the preparation. And when you reject that food, it is like rejecting the love they are bestowing on you. My best friends in college? Jewish, Italian and Indian. I am pretty sure their mothers saw me as the starving neighborhood cat and fed me copiously. If I said I couldn't eat that much, they would scold me and tell me if I got too skinny, I couldn't get married and make good babies. (Yes. Seriously).

    My trick? Eat very slow, sample a little of everything and ask if you can take some home because it was SO delicious (instead of having seconds). Show them a lot of love so that they understand you love them for who they are and not what they feed you. And one trick that really helped me is getting them to teach you something. Ask them to teach you how to cook, sew, dance, sing, whatever, so that they feel that feeding you is not the only thing they can do with you. I learned how to cook a vast array of authentic cuisines which helped me a lot more in the dating department than eating carbs did, I tell you!
  • GiGiBeans
    GiGiBeans Posts: 1,062 Member
    [Try leaving a bit on your plate. In some cultures if you empty your plate that means you have room for more. ]

    To an italian woman that means "what you don't like my cooking?"
  • trophywife24
    trophywife24 Posts: 1,472 Member
    I grew up with Italians on one side and Jews on the other. I have no tips except to just keep saying no until they stop.

    And keep in mind, while they're pushing that food at you, the second you gain an ounce, they're going to start telling you you're too fat. And then offer you a cookie. And insist you eat it.

    My family are also Italians/Jews and you pretty much have serious food issues by 1st grade. TORTURE.
  • Afterblue
    Afterblue Posts: 78 Member
    To an italian woman that means "what you don't like my cooking?"
    So much this.

    Or "I went through so much trouble to make it, and you won't go through the trouble of eating what I made"

    And let is not forget "There are starving children in [Insert country they do not belong to]." Which is ironic because my Indian friend's mother would tell me there are starving children in China, while the mother of my Chinese friend would tell me there were starving children in India.
  • missprincessgina
    missprincessgina Posts: 446 Member
    AHHHH, welcome to MY LIFE!! My Grandmother is not only a fantastic cook she likes you based on how many helpings you eat. I try to exercise a lot when I know its Sunday dinner at Grams and then try to use portion control. I eat a lot of salad, skip bread, and eat a normal healthy sized amount of pasta and try to eat one meatball (not two) and some eggplant or braciole. I go way over my calories but there is just something about homemade amazing food that makes me happy. And I love that I have the opportunity to spend time with Grandma!

    Asking to take home leftovers is a great idea. Someone mentioned it above. My Grandmother loves when people asks to take food home. I always take home enough for a few dinners. I freeze most of the leftover sauce and meat and then when I defrost them, all I have to do is boil some pasta! Easy dinner :)
  • weightlossloser13
    weightlossloser13 Posts: 16
    I feel your pain. My mother's side is Celtic and German, my father's side if Italian and Venezuelan. So we eat. A LOT. We eat to socialize, we eat to comfort, we eat to celebrate, we eat to mourn. Oh, and we DRINK LIKE NUTCASES. Or at least, they do. I don't like getting drunk, and my family doesn't know when to stop drinking.

    I've found the best thing is to eat slow, always get small portions to begin with, and leave some on your plate the first round, so they can't offer you seconds. Or, if there is dessert and someone asks if you want seconds, say you are saving room for the dessert, and then have a tiny piece of the dessert.

    Also, if they know that you are dieting or that you are trying to take care of yourself, why are they actively sabotaging it? If they don't know, you really should let them know. And in order to avoid hurt feelings, ALWAYS ask to bring some leftovers home with you. "Oh, it's just so delicious, but I can't eat any more now because of my diet, but can I please take some home with me? This would make a great lunch/dinner for the next few days! You are such a wonderful cook!." etc.
  • Cristofori44
    Cristofori44 Posts: 201
    Good luck with the nonna.
    Lol.
    If it's just a once-in-a-while thing, go easy during the day, get a workout in, and have a little of everything she makes.
    That way neither the nonna nor your waistline take offense.
  • RBXChas
    RBXChas Posts: 2,708 Member
    Funny post! I am part Italian, and my grandmother does this to us when we see her. Thankfully she doesn't live close by, or I'd (still) be heavy! I do cook Italian food every now and again, but it's a rare treat. My dad definitely has that Italian mindset (like my grandmother, aka his mother) that no one is happy unless they are eating, and he is not happy unless he is feeding you! My mom is 100% Polish, so I get all the fatty Polish foods on my other side, too. I went to visit my parents about a month ago, and I had pierogi, lasagna, pizza, cannolis, and cake shoved in my face all week.

    I just ate in small portions or chose something else to eat. Grandma-in-law will be happy if you eat some, so I recommend small portions. She may be insulted if you eat none. Make lots of yummy noises while you're eating, though, and insist that she is the best cook in the world. Ask her for recipes, too, which she'll probably be happy to share, and you can make them healthy!
  • TayPat24
    TayPat24 Posts: 131
    I'm currently dating an Italian, and I love going over to his Nonna's. But I too have this problem, and so I tend to stay away as much as possible, but when I say no to her food I get a death scare thatgives me nightmares!!!!!
  • Anastasia0511
    Anastasia0511 Posts: 372 Member
    Marrying an Italian is NOT GOOD for my waistline. I was doing fab fab fab yesterday and then Grandma Casablanca called and asked us to go to a home-cooked dinner. Pounds of pasta and meatballs later, I obliterated my goals for the day -- and not in a good way!

    Any tips for portion control when your grandmother-in-law is insisting you eat more?
    Just don't eat it, it's as simple as that. Just because you married an Italian doesn't mean you have to eat the food. Italian food is like Mc Donalds to me, fattening, disgusting and dangerous and I am full Italian. I do not ever eat that stuff and haven't pretty much my entire life. You can't blame your in laws unless they are sitting on top of you and shoving it down your throat. Be strong and just don't eat it. And if they have a problem with that too bad. My family that live in Italy are skinny as hell and don't eat the same kinds of foods they make here in the US. I hate to tell you this but there is no such thing as portion control in an American-Italian family lol.
  • AnitaVolpato
    AnitaVolpato Posts: 204 Member
    Me too but he is from Brazil so he doesn't eat as much... He has a temper and very mouthy though. I met my match finally... LMAO Food is not an issue here.. it's the alcohol.... LOL
  • stfriend
    stfriend Posts: 256 Member
    Maybe you could tell her how wonderful it all is but you're so stuffed, could you take some home to enjoy later? That might work. And its not just Italians, my family is of German ancestery. Bread and sausage anyone? Cause I won't eat the cabbage, lol.
  • saraann4
    saraann4 Posts: 1,296 Member
    Don't Italians eat salad after dinner? Just tell her you only want a reasonable portion b/c you're trying to save room for her delicious salad.

    On a sidenote, I looked up Tiramisu in MFP the other day, and I almost cried.

    Salad after dinner? Not in our family. More pasta, meat, or bread. The good stuff

    Just have some and ask for a big ol' container of it to take home.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories