How Do You Avoid Beating Yourself Up

thebrianmo
thebrianmo Posts: 108
in Motivation and Support
When you haven't had the greatest week with your diet and exercise plan? I'm probably being too hard on myself, but I feel like I've gained all 50 pounds back in one day. The reality is I haven't gained any weight back. I haven't eaten anything that I'm not supposed to eat, I just feel like maybe I am going back to where my portions are just too big. I also have failed at logging my food and I know that is essential to do. I feel flat and want to know how do I not beat myself up and just move forward since today is a new day!

Replies

  • Red7Basil
    Red7Basil Posts: 36
    Hey! You've lost 53 LBS! That is AWESOME! It is hard to not beat yourself up, I beat myself up too. With every little bit that I lose, I can see the changes in my body and that has lead to changes in my attitude. I still get down some days, but I have to focus on how far I have come not on how far I have to go. I am slowly becoming the person I've always wanted to be. Like you said, "today is a new day!"
  • abetterjune
    abetterjune Posts: 219
    compare progress pictures. Look in the mirror and say some positive affirmations out loud. seems silly, but saying something like "I've made great progress" 10 times OUT LOUD to yourself actually helps sometimes
  • cburky911
    cburky911 Posts: 89 Member
    Sounds like you recognized early on that you may be starting to slide. You can't go back and change what happened yesterday, only be aware of it and move on. Slides may happen on occasion. Just realize that this was a minor one, fix it and move on. And like Kendra said...focus on the big picture. You've lost 53 pounds...how long did it take you to lose that weight. It's ok to "beat yourself up" for about 10 seconds if you know you slid, but then deal with it and move on. Get back to logging your food, exercising and keeping yourself accountable.
  • charlottra
    charlottra Posts: 28 Member
    Hey,

    Well I think a good start is to draw a line under the day. Say to yourself that was yesterday and this is now and I'm not going to let this one beat me.

    My friend and I call our saboteurs our Fat-Brains. Its like the side of ourselves that sits on our shoulder fighting with the wanna-be thin-Brains and telling us we dont need to do all of the things that we have set out to do. It may sound mental, but sometimes you just need to have a battle with Fat Brain and remind him why you are doing this, what you want to achieve, what your goals are and how you are planning to get there.

    So my advice is, have a word with yourself, make sure your goals on your profile are up to date and read them when you need to re-focus on why you are doing this. And if your saboteur self starts a talking, beat him up :)

    53lbs is great. Keep doing what worked for you and if thats logging on to here and recording everything and controlling your portion sizes, try get back to that, you know it works and pretty soon it will be 55lbs, 60lbs etc. You know it works, so just keep practising your success. Dont let Fat-Brain win!!!

    good luck!
  • claire_90
    claire_90 Posts: 99
    This is something I have struggled with recently. Last year I joined MFP and went from 56kg to 38kg in 3 months... over the next 9 months I packed it all back and more and am at 63kg. It's been really tough and have felt like a failure most days due to the food and lack of exercise the day consists of.

    The past two weeks i've employed a really simple attitude. If someone else in my life spoke to me the way I am talking to myself right now would I listen? Would I keep them as a friend? Nope! So why let myself talk that way?

    My other advice is to never put off starting over. Tomorrow is another day. But the next minute is a new minute! Just because the day didn't go to plan doesn't mean it's a write off and you can eat whatever you like until tomorrow. You need to realise it's wrong straigth away and do something positive - either exercise or do something that makes you feel hot. (for me it's usually dye my hair or play with make up or put fake tan on, but I'm guessing those aren't your thing - but find your thing! ) Something that takes time, makes you feel good and isn't related to food or exercise.
  • Caffeine_Addict
    Caffeine_Addict Posts: 178 Member
    Turn to ur MFP friends.
    Even tho the struggle makes us feel all alone sometimes.. this community always has someone that understands or can relate on some level.
    But.. I think you're already doing that.

    It helps me to read some of the success stories. A lot of them admit to times where theyve slipped up. It's about the entire journey, the mindset, the war not the battle... etc.
  • jerbear1962
    jerbear1962 Posts: 1,157 Member
    Exactly today is a new day...you can't change what you have or have not done in the past you can only control the current and future time. Take that few minutes to log on...Good Luck
  • shorty35565
    shorty35565 Posts: 1,425 Member
    I only cheat once in a blue moon and I never miss an exercise, but when I look at my pics, I see fat. All I see is fat. I can't see anything good on myself. So I would like the answer to this too because I can't avoid beatin myself up most of the time. I will compare pics, see a difference, but see something I dont like in the after pic so I dont get to enjoy the differnce long.
  • newmein2013
    newmein2013 Posts: 674 Member
    Exactly what the others said and I'll add this.... it's a lifestyle change and we need food to survive. There's a HUGE learing curve that we all go through. It takes time. Food will ALWAYS be there to challenge us. We just need to do the best we can each day and if we fall off track, forgive ourselves and get right back on track. It really is ok. It does no good whatsoever to dwell on something that can't be changed. We simply need to take out of it what we learned and use it to our advantage. You've done an awesome job so far. Be very proud of yourself for the progress you've made. Slow and steady wins the race. Consistency and perseverance is the only way to go. Best of luck to you with the rest of your journey to good health. :smile:
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
    i cheat, enjoy it, then get over it.
    lots of water, an extra walk, lots of veggies for a few days.. and plenty of sleep
  • charlottra
    charlottra Posts: 28 Member

    The past two weeks i've employed a really simple attitude. If someone else in my life spoke to me the way I am talking to myself right now would I listen? Would I keep them as a friend? Nope! So why let myself talk that way?

    I hear you! We can be our own worst enemy. I think there is a part of me is scared of success, doesnt feel worthy, so i too have to stop listening to that destructive part of myself sometimes and let the positive come out instead. Of course this is easier said than done if you feel down, but we can overcome!
  • newmein2013
    newmein2013 Posts: 674 Member
    I only cheat once in a blue moon and I never miss an exercise, but when I look at my pics, I see fat. All I see is fat. I can't see anything good on myself. So I would like the answer to this too because I can't avoid beatin myself up most of the time. I will compare pics, see a difference, but see something I dont like in the after pic so I dont get to enjoy the differnce long.

    Learn to love your body, really, really love your body. It is unique to you and only you. You can shape it to a certain point but some things you just can't change, genetics, etc. Once you accept this, you will appreciate your own body for what it is. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. Find your beauty within and let it carry you throughout. :heart: Examine your body as you're working out. Look at and touch the muscles you're working at the time. You will fall in love with YOUR body, flaws and all. We all have them.
  • Carfoodel
    Carfoodel Posts: 481 Member
    Hey,

    Well I think a good start is to draw a line under the day. Say to yourself that was yesterday and this is now and I'm not going to let this one beat me.

    My friend and I call our saboteurs our Fat-Brains. Its like the side of ourselves that sits on our shoulder fighting with the wanna-be thin-Brains and telling us we dont need to do all of the things that we have set out to do. It may sound mental, but sometimes you just need to have a battle with Fat Brain and remind him why you are doing this, what you want to achieve, what your goals are and how you are planning to get there.

    So my advice is, have a word with yourself, make sure your goals on your profile are up to date and read them when you need to re-focus on why you are doing this. And if your saboteur self starts a talking, beat him up :)

    53lbs is great. Keep doing what worked for you and if thats logging on to here and recording everything and controlling your portion sizes, try get back to that, you know it works and pretty soon it will be 55lbs, 60lbs etc. You know it works, so just keep practising your success. Dont let Fat-Brain win!!!

    good luck!

    Loads of good advice on this thread - but love "Fat-brain" I'm gonna nick this when I get those blah blah days. I also like I cheat, I enjoy I get over it - sorry paraphrasing as I don't know how to do multi quotes - but yeah, drink loads of water, eat more veggies and move that butt :)
  • chanson104
    chanson104 Posts: 859
    I accept the fact that I am human and that humans fail!! So get over it, learn from it, and move on!! Anticipate and prepare for bad days but make sure that the good ones outweigh the bad ones!!
  • misalillstead
    misalillstead Posts: 407 Member
    You've made such wonderful progress already! So you slip up now and then, we all do... just start over again with your next meal. If you don't feel like working out, just try doing something for 5 mins or go for a walk. That usually peps me up enough to get my workout done. Much luck to you! You can do it! :)
  • Kimminer77
    Kimminer77 Posts: 39 Member
    I have a great fitness support group on Facebook where I can go on days I'm feeling down, or when I need motivation. I really love it and have been really successful since joining. Feel free to join us: https://www.facebook.com/groups/50shadesoffitness We would love to have you! Or any of you!! The more the merrier!
  • krystymc
    krystymc Posts: 29 Member
    on the days you beat yourself up, well...you already did the best thing anyone could do. you shared it. you talked it over with people who understand, namely here at MFP. people who really 'get it'. keep talking, and especially listening, to the people who are in your shoes or have been in your shoes. even if no one here has the magick pill to make the bad voice go away, you'll hear good anecdotes and stories and lots of positive thoughts and well wishes. once you actually listen to that, it's pretty hard to beat yourself up when you've got so many people rooting for you.
  • Weightlossangel
    Weightlossangel Posts: 9
    Hey Hun, I know it can be hard sometimes and when people tell you not to beat yourself up you just want to roll your eyes at them, because beating yourself up comes as natually to us when we feel we have let ourselves down.
    But the good news here is you are in touch with how you are feeling, you know where you might be falling off the wagon....*take back the reigns, start watching those portions again and jotting in the diary* The fact you are aware that you are slipping is the first step in getting back on track. BIG PAT ON THE BACK I SAY....WELL DONE.

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