What the newbie should know
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Dauntlessness
Posts: 1,489 Member
I am super active on MFP and love all my friends. I found that when I add people that are new to the site it takes them a little while to understand MFP etiquette while making new friends. I hope I don't come off as too pushy! haha
1. Fill out your profile. If you haven't taken the time to tell me about yourself people are less likely to become your friend. We don't know anything about you and if you haven't taken the time to tell us who you are, what makes us think your going to take the time to be active on this site?
2. Put a profile picture in. Even if its an avatar, don't leave it blank. I prefer to see your face because it shows your being accountable for where you are in your journey but I understand if people don't want to put it up there because of security reasons too.
3. If your photo is all boobs, butts, thongs and/or groin, I am not going to be friends with you. This website is about fitness, not about how much attention you can get. It has nothing to do with "I love my body now I wanna show it off". Great, take a pic in a tasteful bikini or workout clothes. Skin is not the problem, the problem is the poses and attitude in which the picture is taken.
4. If your the type of person who trolls profiles to see who you can hook up with-even married people, go away. Get a life.
5. Write on your friends statuses and be supportive. Expecting others to support you without giving anything back makes us think you are the type of person who thinks they are "entitled" to it. I have said it 100 times and will say it again, I am not your Momma and the only satisfaction I need is to see you succeed without getting anything in return.
6. Don't be a negative Nancy. Its one thing to have a bad day and ask for support but if you complain every single day, people are going to get sick of you bringing them down.
7. This is your journey and you need to take responsibility for it. No one is going to do this for you. If you are the type of person who blames other for your slip ups saying stuff like "I binged tonight because no one commented on my status" or basing your willpower on others support, well that's not going to work. Your making the choice to eat that brownie, not us.
8. If your going to friend someone, write something in the message! Why do you wanna be their friend? Where did you see their profile? Are you friends with any of their current friends? The problem with blank messages is that it makes us think your a troll or trying to sell us something. The only time I see this as okay is in the "Intro group" if you have already commented on the thread.
9. Do not only come online to raise money for your race/walk/whatever or try to sell us something.
10. If you don't have experience, don't pretend to know what your taking about. Telling a veteran of MFP who has been very successful what they are doing right/doing wrong when you haven't any experience, well, that's not going to make for a happy friend. I don't think most vets expect you to worship them or anything, or even listen to them... they do expect respect for their successes and the time they put in to achieve them. It invalidates their hard work.
11. Finally, Be nice! If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. Support your friends! Have fun! Open up! This website can build some amazing friendships if you let it. I have friends on here that I talk to every day for years now. You can too.
sorry to edit
1. Fill out your profile. If you haven't taken the time to tell me about yourself people are less likely to become your friend. We don't know anything about you and if you haven't taken the time to tell us who you are, what makes us think your going to take the time to be active on this site?
2. Put a profile picture in. Even if its an avatar, don't leave it blank. I prefer to see your face because it shows your being accountable for where you are in your journey but I understand if people don't want to put it up there because of security reasons too.
3. If your photo is all boobs, butts, thongs and/or groin, I am not going to be friends with you. This website is about fitness, not about how much attention you can get. It has nothing to do with "I love my body now I wanna show it off". Great, take a pic in a tasteful bikini or workout clothes. Skin is not the problem, the problem is the poses and attitude in which the picture is taken.
4. If your the type of person who trolls profiles to see who you can hook up with-even married people, go away. Get a life.
5. Write on your friends statuses and be supportive. Expecting others to support you without giving anything back makes us think you are the type of person who thinks they are "entitled" to it. I have said it 100 times and will say it again, I am not your Momma and the only satisfaction I need is to see you succeed without getting anything in return.
6. Don't be a negative Nancy. Its one thing to have a bad day and ask for support but if you complain every single day, people are going to get sick of you bringing them down.
7. This is your journey and you need to take responsibility for it. No one is going to do this for you. If you are the type of person who blames other for your slip ups saying stuff like "I binged tonight because no one commented on my status" or basing your willpower on others support, well that's not going to work. Your making the choice to eat that brownie, not us.
8. If your going to friend someone, write something in the message! Why do you wanna be their friend? Where did you see their profile? Are you friends with any of their current friends? The problem with blank messages is that it makes us think your a troll or trying to sell us something. The only time I see this as okay is in the "Intro group" if you have already commented on the thread.
9. Do not only come online to raise money for your race/walk/whatever or try to sell us something.
10. If you don't have experience, don't pretend to know what your taking about. Telling a veteran of MFP who has been very successful what they are doing right/doing wrong when you haven't any experience, well, that's not going to make for a happy friend. I don't think most vets expect you to worship them or anything, or even listen to them... they do expect respect for their successes and the time they put in to achieve them. It invalidates their hard work.
11. Finally, Be nice! If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. Support your friends! Have fun! Open up! This website can build some amazing friendships if you let it. I have friends on here that I talk to every day for years now. You can too.
sorry to edit
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Replies
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Well said Lect.0
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Perfect!!! Thanks for posting! 0
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This!!! ^
Also, watch out for trolls. A lot of people seem to be heavily qualified in sarcasm, so I've noticed...0 -
Fantastic post. I feel you totally on this one.0
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Being a brand shiny newbie, I appreciate the advice.Makes sense to me!:flowerforyou:0
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well said!0
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Well said!0
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Thanks for that advice! - I'm a newbie and just getting familiar with everything - I love this site and it's definitely been helping me be accountable for everything I do - making me think and work toward my goal.0
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I've only been not he site a week, so I am not an expect on the message boards AT ALL, however...
Do you think a lot of the "friend adding frenzy" is based on Facebook mentality of teens who want to add hundreds of people as a sign of popularity? I know that I get many, many unsolicited adds on FB, and I always respond with, "Do I know you?"
Obviously on this site, we are looking for people who are facing similar weight loss struggles. We want someone to cheer us on, has similar goals and motivations, etc.0 -
Being a brand shiny newbie, I appreciate the advice.Makes sense to me!:flowerforyou:
Haha!! So where's your profile pic? LOL0 -
Have just read the whole lot and will aim to adhere to it. If people would like to add me, or allow me to add them, that would be lovely. Nice to meet a community like this.
Chris (newb) 0 -
That was awesome! I couldn't have said it any better myself!0
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Good advice for newbies. I'm fairly new here also, less then 2 months and still learning :-) I have learned a lot from these msg boards/forums and appreciate all the help and encouragement I see on here.0
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Bravo!0
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perfectly said! makes me wonder why I didn't fill out my profile! now I'll do it :-) thanks for the post!0
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Very few people even follow #1 :ohwell:0
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*likes*0
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Haha, thanks! I'm a newbie (been here almost a week!) and never filled out a profile. But I don't want to look like a troll, so done!
*waves*0 -
hm. Okay. If you say so.
I just want to say - a lot of this stuff comes off as being "the way it is."
My world is not this full of rules. Maybe we are active on different sites.0 -
Great advice. I am fairly new, about a month. I love the forums. I have added several people this way, always sending a message with my request. Haven't had too many request my friendship...thanks for the tips0
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