Need some friends ...

Hello Im not new .... but have been absent for a few months. Some of my friends have left me - which I totally understand. I disappeared and wasn't here to support you - and I'm sorry for that. I was NOT a "good-MFP-friend" - and I apologize to those I let down.

I was succeeding quite well at this and had lost about 15 pounds in about 2 months doing a round of 30DS, using my elliptical, and calorie counting.

I took a small break over the holidays - then it was followed by health issues for myself (which are going to result in a surgery in a few months). Those health issues made it unable for me to exercise (drs orders). Not long after that my father in law in TN had a heart attack and then a stroke. My son has been ill, my job got demanding .... etc etc. I have LOTS of excuses. (don't we all - that habit of making excuses when we start then stop something?).

The simple TRUTH is that In the midst of all of that - I lost sight of my goals. I just stopped trying. I allowed the things around me, and the stressors in my life - to take back over and convinced myself that those things were more important than taking care of ME... because it was EASIER to quit than to keep trying. i gave up on myself.

I do NOT want to be that person. A recent photo was very eye opening for me, and depressing. Because it was clear to see that I gained back the weight I lost. I am disappointed in myself. Disgusted with myself, how I look and how I feel.

So here I am, again - back at it. I WANT to succeed. I need to be able to look in the mirror and NOT HATE the girl staring back at me. I dont feel like the girl that I see - matches who I AM. I have a long way to go. And it wont be quick process for me. Some of my health issues make certain exercies difficult. And I do have a surgery pending for some time in November. But Im going to find something I can do, even if my current focus has to stay more on walking and watching my food. I'd love to make some new friends - who can help hold me accountable. We can encourage each other along the way.