What stops you giving up ?

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d4wn66
d4wn66 Posts: 48
in Motivation and Support
I , dislocated my knee and fractured my femeral condyle , complete Tear of my Anteior Cruciate Ligament , grade 3 tear of Medial Collateral ligament , and lateral tear to my meniscus on 5/3/12 I've been in a long leg hinge splint ever since , leading an imposed sedatory life !
On 5/7/2012 I had Anteior Cruciate Ligament Hamstring Reconstruction , Medial Collateral Repair , and suturing of Meniscus .
Still in my Long leg hinge splint.
Today 7/8/12 I been told I have a saphenous nerve injury ( which has been preventing me fom sleeping) to my left knee , and to add insult to injury I was also told the cause of my bloody awful right hip pain is a Hip Bursa ( which also prevents me from sleeping)
So just when I was expecting 5 weeks post op , to start to be able to do more and become more mobile I'm back to square one.
I could scream, I feel over whelmed with all that is happening to my body.
Before this injury ( came off a 59cc Scooter ) I was fit and would run between 6-8 km a day before work !
So know both my legs are causing issue with the other, I can't reduce the stain on my right hip until my left knee improves, my right causes me to limp, and the use the brace causes to me walk abnormally as well , putting strain on my Left hip !
I've been off wrk with no pay since injury, was planning and desperate to return to work on by the 4/9/12 when my insurance stops, but know just feel over whelmed and desperate !
Any words that will stop me feeling so sorry for my self would be very welcome.
I have worked so hard not to put weight on and comfort eat , but feel my resolve is about to take a nose dive !

Replies

  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    myself.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    I spent four years in physical therapy after I was obliterated by an 18 wheeler on my 21st birthday.

    My left hip hung by a string when they cut me out with the jaws of life.
    Both ankles broken and twisted unnnaturally.
    Right shoulder yanked out of socket and shoved back in wrong, with too much force.
    Pelvis tilted and jammed.
    Nerve damage in my right arm and the left side of my face.
    Developed symptomatic partial epilepsy, specialist disagnosis pending.

    Sometimes I wake up in the morning and crumple to the floor.

    I close my eyes, and I scream at the floor and I cry so hard that my heart breaks. No matter how strong I get, I still have these mornings that cripple me. I get tears all over the floor.
    I do the ugly cry. The really ugly cry.

    Then I sniff and I clench my fists and I stand up and I keep going.

    Cause the little 5 year old girl I once was sits there behind my eyelids and I just cannot sentence her to a life of pain and agony. I know that staying fit keeps almost all the pain at bay now. So I do it for her. So she can grow up to be happy.
  • Halleeon
    Halleeon Posts: 309 Member
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    Hello,

    I can relate to your pain. About 3 years ago, I was on the right path to weight loss. I weighed about 250 at the start and was down to about 223 and was so motivated. I was working out 5 times a week and eating great, my boyfriend was on board, it was awesome! Then one day, I went to help my Mom with some yard work, and hopped up to grab something off of a tree limb; when I landed, my knee buckled and I fell. My knee instantly swole up like a coconut.

    Long story short - I had to have rod and pins removed from that leg (they were implanted about 10 years prior after a nasty leg break that kept me bed ridden for close to a year.) And they had to do an orthoscopy on the knee. It took me over a year to recover.

    Soon after I could walk again without excruciating pain...my back started hurting - like 10 times worse than my knee. It just got worse, the pain spread all over my body and the depression was thick.

    I learned I have rare form of osteoarthritis in my back that cannot be operated on...along with fibromyalgia. It took me another year to fight my way through the stages of grief. I allowed myself the process, but kept moving forward, knowing it would have to get better one day.

    I will admit, I gained all of my weight back and then some during this time. I am not sure if I could have prevented that, based on my personality and situation. But it was okay, because, for me...it was what I needed at the time to cope emotionally.

    As time has gone on, I have found that I have other health issues, but have come to a place of acceptance with it all. I did a lot of research and found good doctors and good home remedies and worked my way into a tolerable level of pain to "feeling good" ratio that I can live with.

    Once I got there, I started back on my path to a healthy lifestyle. Just like I had in the beginning...and I will continue on this path because I know it is what is best for me, in all aspects, emotionally, psychically, etc. In time, my pain will be lessened, I will be stronger and I will be healthier. And so will you.

    If there is any suggestions I can give...make sure you have support system. Be proactive in your search for health, scour the internet. Don't beat yourself up for the wallowing that you will do, embrace it, but give yourself a time limit and then press on, pausing to cry as needed.

    It will get better. It can get better. You are worth the effort and I love you...one human to another.

    Stay strong.
  • d4wn66
    d4wn66 Posts: 48
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    You are pretty inspirational, life can be cruel can't it, on your 21st bloody hell. I have the utmost respect for your honesty and kindness of sharing this dark time in your life with me

    Thank you so much for sharing this me :flowerforyou:
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    I know how it hurts your spirit too.

    Believe me, being as fit as you can, moving as much as you can, helps with both. :flowerforyou:
  • d4wn66
    d4wn66 Posts: 48
    Options
    Hello,

    I can relate to your pain. About 3 years ago, I was on the right path to weight loss. I weighed about 250 at the start and was down to about 223 and was so motivated. I was working out 5 times a week and eating great, my boyfriend was on board, it was awesome! Then one day, I went to help my Mom with some yard work, and hopped up to grab something off of a tree limb; when I landed, my knee buckled and I fell. My knee instantly swole up like a coconut.

    Long story short - I had to have rod and pins removed from that leg (they were implanted about 10 years prior after a nasty leg break that kept me bed ridden for close to a year.) And they had to do an orthoscopy on the knee. It took me over a year to recover.

    Soon after I could walk again without excruciating pain...my back started hurting - like 10 times worse than my knee. It just got worse, the pain spread all over my body and the depression was thick.

    I learned I have rare form of osteoarthritis in my back that cannot be operated on...along with fibromyalgia. It took me another year to fight my way through the stages of grief. I allowed myself the process, but kept moving forward, knowing it would have to get better one day.

    I will admit, I gained all of my weight back and then some during this time. I am not sure if I could have prevented that, based on my personality and situation. But it was okay, because, for me...it was what I needed at the time to cope emotionally.

    As time has gone on, I have found that I have other health issues, but have come to a place of acceptance with it all. I did a lot of research and found good doctors and good home remedies and worked my way into a tolerable level of pain to "feeling good" ratio that I can live with.

    Once I got there, I started back on my path to a healthy lifestyle. Just like I had in the beginning...and I will continue on this path because I know it is what is best for me, in all aspects, emotionally, psychically, etc. In time, my pain will be lessened, I will be stronger and I will be healthier. And so will you.

    If there is any suggestions I can give...make sure you have support system. Be proactive in your search for health, scour the internet. Don't beat yourself up for the wallowing that you will do, embrace it, but give yourself a time limit and then press on, pausing to cry as needed.

    It will get better. It can get better. You are worth the effort and I love you...one human to another.

    Stay strong.

    Thank you so much for sharing this , you are a true survivor like Soovie . The truth is being here just makes me constantly think about what I can't do and so much want to do ,weak I know , but being truthful
    I wish you both all the best in the world and thank you once again :flowerforyou: Xxx
  • Halleeon
    Halleeon Posts: 309 Member
    Options
    I understand the feeling, and it's okay. I wish you speedy recovery and lots of positive feelings. You can borrow mine whenever you need them, until you can make your own. Try some affirmations, here is an awesome site for that - http://susanjeffers.com/home/affirm.cfm

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