mental challenges of losing weight

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vivie72
vivie72 Posts: 127 Member
in Motivation and Support
How many of you know what to do in the gym and how to eat right but still struggle to lose the weight? I find myself thinking about the scale all the time. I know how my body works. I tend to lose inches faster than pounds. I know this is great and to appreciate how I feel in my clothes. BUT...I struggle with the scale. I lost 54lbs and then gained some back...ugh. Now, I am back to 41 lost. I have at least 60lb more that I want to lose. I go to the gym and work hard. I watch my diet and yet I stay there forever. I recently started working with a trainer and I am trying to "get comfortable with the uncomfortable". Yet, most of my life I have hid beneath the layers of fat. As the weight comes off so does the protection I thought it offered. I know I deserve this yet I wonder if my anxiety holds me back. I have gone to counseling and I know the answers but I feel stuck at times. How did you get unstuck?

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  • KimWW
    KimWW Posts: 301 Member
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    Not sure what I will do when I lose my life-long scape goat of "It's because I'm fat."

    But I'll find something.

    Stop concentrating on the scale. Go try some clothes on at the store, even if you don't buy any.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,121 Member
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    I don't think there are any easy answers. It's just a lifelong struggle. It has gotten easier for me, but I was not over weight my whole life, just for about 7-8 years of it. While it was a protection of sorts, it's kind of like an abusive husband type of protection. Yeah, he keeps you from getting hurt by strangers when you are out of the house, but behind closed doors he's(it's) killing you.
  • vivie72
    vivie72 Posts: 127 Member
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    While it was a protection of sorts, it's kind of like an abusive husband type of protection. Yeah, he keeps you from getting hurt by strangers when you are out of the house, but behind closed doors he's(it's) killing you.

    That is a good way to describe it. I never thought about it that way.
  • paprikas
    paprikas Posts: 118 Member
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    I think its harder for those of us who have been overweight for most of our lives. Rather than seeing my excess weight as a temporary thing, I consider myself to be an overweight person. For my whole life I believed that I took after family members who were overweight. Losing weight involves a complete overhaul of my self image. I think that subconsciously I have been fighting the weight loss as I can't imagine being slim.

    MFP is an incredibly powerful tool for countering many of these issues. Firstly, you can find numerous people here who have been overweight for a long time and yet who still manage to lose significant amounts of weight. It actually can be done.

    Also, at the end of the day, when you log all your foods and exercise, MFP tells you how much you could weigh in 5 weeks. For me this has been crucial, as it helps me to get my head around the fact that I could actually be a weight that I haven't been in decades.

    The fact that MFP is an online rather than real world tool is also quite significant for me. I have a policy of not friending anyone I know in my offline life. In this way, I am not held back by my self perception, and the perceptions of others around me regarding my identity. It is almost as though I can be a slim, healthy person in the MFP forum, which feels much safer. Only when I am used to these changes that are happening to me can I then apply them to my real world identity.

    Finally, I have found that taking the time to log on MFP and interact on the forums has meant that I am taking time for myself and am focusing on my health and wellbeing. I deserve to lose this weight.

    Good luck on your journey.
  • ldmc1982
    ldmc1982 Posts: 15
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    The mental challenges can really get to you. My mom always equated and still does a persons worthiness with their weight/body size. As a kid she told me that she would take my sister shopping for clothes but she would buy none for me until I lost weight. That still haunts me today. I put off having my annual physical for 3 years because I was afraid to step on the scale in front of the doctor. I went for my physical this year. When I explained this to him, he suggested I seek councilling. I am doing that beginning later this month. I feel like a damaged human being because I am not at my ideal weight. I was recently ill, the first thing my mom said is "hopefully you will lose weight". Okay so you are probablly wondering how over weight is she ... 35-40 pounds. Yes that is alot, but really to make me feel so bad about my self ...

    My answer, don't worry about the outside world. I need to do this for me. Mom is almost 90, who knows if she will ever see me thinnner, but this is my health and body and I HAVE TAKEN OVER.

    Some times we can hide, but I don't want to hide anymore. Bigger people are beautiful, and smart, and worthy of all the same things that a smaller person should want or expect out of life.

    I now control me and I am doing what is right for me.
  • vivie72
    vivie72 Posts: 127 Member
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    Some times we can hide, but I don't want to hide anymore.

    I now control me and I am doing what is right for me.

    I know this and now I need to believe it!!! You can do it!!!
  • Yardtigress
    Yardtigress Posts: 367 Member
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    Idmc, hey don't let your Mom get to you, like that. I have 60 pounds to lose, but it's not so bad, we can do this. Hey when I was a kid and I got in trouble, my Mom would hit me and tell me she wished I was never born. I always thought " too late". Do it for you. Parents can be so cruel, thinking that they are helping.

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