My husband said it was weird I wanted to go to the gym!

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kattp07
kattp07 Posts: 40 Member
in Motivation and Support
Were leaving town on Saturday morning to see my husbands parents.The last he had said was we were leaving at 9am.I've been going to boxing classes for the last 3 months ,3 days a week .The last few weeks i've been trying to go 4 and there's a class at 8am Sat. so I told him i wanted to go and i'd be home at 9:15 then we could leave.He said (that's just weird!) then he said he wanted to leave at 8am instead! Really?Why would he do this to me ? I've never really exercised in my life and i finally found somthing I enjoy, i'm trying so hard to lose weight and now he's stoping me from going! I just don't understand?He knows his parents eat horriblely and i'm so scared im going to gain weight when i'm there.:frown:

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  • Agator82
    Agator82 Posts: 249 Member
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    I say this as a husband, unless there is a compelling need to get there earlier then you should express how important the gym is for you in getting healthier. Often times we husbands suffer from a bit of stupid and we obsess about the unimportant to forsake the people in our lives, I am guilty of this.

    The only concern I can see your husband possibly having is if you need to get cleaned up after the gym and then you are leaving at 10 AM instead of 9 AM, again this is silly,but we are men and we are like that. Just impressing on him that it is important to you should help bring priorities into focus, if that fails there is always negotiation.

    BTW, it is weird, but weird is not a bad thing, in your case it is healthy and trying to establish good habits. Be proud of your weirdness. :-)
  • kattp07
    kattp07 Posts: 40 Member
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    Thanks it helps to have a mans point of view,and my husband is the type of person that will sleep till 10 even if he says he's leaving at 9! So I just thought I could get it in b4 we left.I bet I could go and he'd never even no i'm gone ! :wink:
  • Busymomshantell
    Busymomshantell Posts: 126 Member
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    My husband is one of those that can sleep late and never know what is going on. He actually - when he sets his mind to losing weight and getting in shape - is very dedicated and successful. Whereas with me, I have a major lack of energy to get it started and getting motivated. I have been trying to lose weight for a while and slowly doing it. My husband has since decided he is joining me and it is almost like a competition to see who can get the most steps in and who can burn the most calories (which is always him - he weighs 100 more than I do).

    Hopefully you and hubby can talk and he will understand how important it is to you. Your health is first and foremost. And I am guessing that if you got up and went, he wouldn't leave without you. Best of luck!
  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
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    the real issue is her knows you will get home at 915, then shower then change and then not leave until 1030
  • supplemama
    supplemama Posts: 1,956 Member
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    That 8am class is cutting it awful close. And really, if you get home at 915 you'll still need to shower and change because you won't want to go to your in-laws all sweaty and stinky. Did you really plan to just jump in the car at 915 and go? Of course not. So by planning to take the 8am class you were basically changing your husband's plan to leave at 9am.

    So now he wants to leave at 8. What to do? Go to the gym at 6, get in a 45-60 minute workout in (treadmill, elliptical, whatever, it doesn't have to be a boxing class) then shower and change at your leisure, have a nice breakfast. Be ready and waiting at 8.
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,012 Member
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    Thanks it helps to have a mans point of view,and my husband is the type of person that will sleep till 10 even if he says he's leaving at 9! So I just thought I could get it in b4 we left.I bet I could go and he'd never even no i'm gone ! :wink:

    Then that's your problem. You should have never told him......I say give him an "incentive" and then he won't care about you going to work out.
  • kehuizenga
    kehuizenga Posts: 151
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    the real issue is her knows you will get home at 915, then shower then change and then not leave until 1030

    This. I often get told to be somewhere 15-20 minutes before I need to be there by friends, family, and my boyfriend because of this. Your husband is probably doing the same thing.
  • 29bubbles
    29bubbles Posts: 126 Member
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    Can you drive seperate?? This is important to you....tell him how important it is and ask him for support and understanding.

    Go to your class..take your shower at the gym and meet up with him.

    You go girl...don't let anyone stop you! You need that "me" time.
  • Josieimdoinmenow
    Josieimdoinmenow Posts: 38 Member
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    I am having a similar problem... I just joined the gym 08/01, my husband wants me to be at home and keep doing my DVD's but I know most of them by heart now... plus there are so many distractions there... I LOVE going to the gym... I can get away... do me and then come home and do him...LOL...but really he acts like I am doing something wrong by going to the gym all the time... I am still home at night and our kids are older.. he tries to make me feel guitly about it... I hate that... I give him lots of attention when I am home... I feel you on this one!!!
  • erin_kercheval
    erin_kercheval Posts: 37 Member
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    A lifestyle change for you, is also a lifestyle change for your husband. Even if he's not the one working out. :) He apparently does not yet understand your dedication to this & how important it is for you. He SHOULD be 100% supportive, but he probably does not see how missing this one day will be that big of a deal. To you it is a big deal, so you need to find a good compromise here. Knowing that he will probably just sleep in is pretty annoying, but his plan to leave by a reasonable time also makes sense. I agree with what another poster wrote, go to the gym early, do cardio on a machine or take a long walk near your home... you'll still have your class to look forward to in a couple of days. It's not exactly what you want, but you will still get your exercise, and marriage is about all compromise, right? :) Hopefully next time around he will realize you really ARE dedicated to exercising and build your schedule into the plans.
  • kattp07
    kattp07 Posts: 40 Member
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    He just really hurt my fellings by saying I was weird for wanting to go?He said I shouldn't revolve my whole life around the gym.I'm just trying stick with my program cause I always fall off the wagon! This is the first time i've ever stuck with something more than 2 weeks and I don't want to blow it. Were going to be out of town untill monday night and he knows I wont be able to exercise while were gone,well be with his family the whole time.I no my husband and he'll still be in bed at 9 or 10am and that is so annoying!That's why I thought it would be a good idea to go?Oh well ill just wake up early and do a dvd or somthing thats better than nothing right?:)thanks everyone
  • erin_kercheval
    erin_kercheval Posts: 37 Member
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    I understand & that stinks. Just the other day my husband told me not to try to workout so much when I'm already really busy with work & studying for a licensing exam. He said I was setting myself up for failure by doing too much at once. I know he wasn't trying to be mean or unsupportive, it's just hard for other people to understand sometimes why it is SO important to you, at this moment in your life, to really make exercise a priority! I'm sure he'll eventually come around to understanding better after you've been at it for a while. Unfortunately, if you've never been great at sticking with exercise, it's all too easy to "fall off the wagon". I've done this more times than I care to count, which is why I know I need to stick to my guns and stick to a routine! So you are definitely not weird for feeling this way!
  • cici1028
    cici1028 Posts: 799 Member
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    Thinks of some opportunities to sneak some exercise in when you're with the in-laws. Then you won't feel so pressured about Saturday. And I agree... go the gym early Saturday (6am) so everyone can stay on track.

    I'm sure you can get up early at your in-laws and go for a walk or a jog. Or perhaps there is a gym in their town.

    Erin is totally right... it's a lifestyle change for your husband as well. When I got really into a particular kind of exercise, I WANTED to get up at 5am and go do it. My husband wanted me to stay in bed and snuggle. But once he saw the results, he is happy to kick me on out at 5am. :)

    You'll figure out how to balance your fitness and your life. Even putting this much thought into it is a step in the right direction. Just don't get too tied to doing one particular thing. There are lots of options out there!
  • kmacgera
    kmacgera Posts: 137 Member
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    That 8am class is cutting it awful close. And really, if you get home at 915 you'll still need to shower and change because you won't want to go to your in-laws all sweaty and stinky. Did you really plan to just jump in the car at 915 and go? Of course not. So by planning to take the 8am class you were basically changing your husband's plan to leave at 9am.

    So now he wants to leave at 8. What to do? Go to the gym at 6, get in a 45-60 minute workout in (treadmill, elliptical, whatever, it doesn't have to be a boxing class) then shower and change at your leisure, have a nice breakfast. Be ready and waiting at 8.

    She's right, but if you're ready at 8, you're ready to pounce on him being a little slow. Think yous guys need to talk. What's so important about 9 vs. 10, for example.
  • PixEm
    PixEm Posts: 190 Member
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    Could you possibly go to the class but leave a few minutes early so you can get home and showered super quick? That would at least allow 30-45 minutes of workout time.
  • RunningMatt77
    RunningMatt77 Posts: 162 Member
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    Never stop your progress and keep going
  • plantgrrl
    plantgrrl Posts: 436 Member
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    What time do you have to be there by? Is there a special event with some timing involved? Ask him what about going to the gym is bothering him? Is it that he thinks you won't be ready to go? Or is it something else? Maybe your getting up early makes him feel bad about not being as motivated? Express to him that it's important. You don't have to rollover on it unless there is a legitimate reason. Are his family that bad? See if while you're there anyone would like to join you on a walk before or after dinner? You can chat and get exercise and maybe observe some wildlife...(don't know what area you're in). Or you could see if anyone wants to do an activity involving "sneaky" exercise: walking around a zoo, going to a mall, etc. You're not getting as much intense exercise as you would like, but it would be something.
  • aj_31
    aj_31 Posts: 999 Member
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    How about tell him tough s$%# and go anyways. If you don't have a need to be there at a certain time (wedding, funeral, etc) then he can wait an hour.
  • Amber_lee_81
    Amber_lee_81 Posts: 36 Member
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    Is there some special event that is going on that will matter if u leave at 9 or at 9:30? If not I say do the workout. A husband should want their loved one to keep going on something especially since your seeing results and better yet you like what your doing. I honestly don't see a difference between leaving at 9 am or say 9:30(giving u shower time). Now don't get me wrong if u get home from gym and want to do shower and then tons of makeup or long "get ready" time that is different, but I do not see harm in getting in a last guaranteed workout for the weekend. I would talk to him and let him know how important it is for you to stay on track. I know for me once I fall off the wagon and splurge one night say on lots of pizza or something its hard to get back on.

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