so annoyed

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ninavivi
ninavivi Posts: 48 Member
in Chit-Chat
a friend of mine and my husband just had a baby today and we were talking about going to vist, he made the comment "the first born is important" well, what bout the 2nd or 3rd? We have two kids (18 months and 4 months) they BOTH are just as equally important to me. Hell, i went through a lot to have them. Put on weight that i am working VERY hard to get ride of. The first isn't more important because it's the "first"
what's so sad, is when we had our first everyone was all ther and supportive, but for our second baby, very few family (on both my side and his) came to see our baby. Do you know how bad that hurts as a mom that people didn't come to see your new baby. There neice/cousin/grandchild etc..
4-5 months after i had my first, i got pregnant again, shoot, i was still learning how to be a mom. I am STILL learning every day. it's sad that people (my husband incldued) think it's not big deal after you have 1.
so freakin annoyed right now.
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Replies

  • holeshottdr
    holeshottdr Posts: 364 Member
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    I'd be more annoyed that the friend of your and your husband just had a baby together...
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
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    Let it go..
  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
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    As the first born I can tell you we really are the most important
  • 2muchsauce
    2muchsauce Posts: 1,078
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    I'd be more annoyed that the friend of your and your husband just had a baby together...

    Exactly what I was thinking...........you have bigger worries than visiting;)
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
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    I'd be more annoyed that the friend of your and your husband just had a baby together...

    :laugh:
  • BabyLeila23
    BabyLeila23 Posts: 410
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    I'd be more annoyed that the friend of your and your husband just had a baby together...


    Lol, I was thinking the same thing.

    All children are important, just breathe, its not worth the fuss.
  • sheila569
    sheila569 Posts: 269 Member
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    I'd be more annoyed that the friend of your and your husband just had a baby together...

    :drinker: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • RunnerBlonde808
    RunnerBlonde808 Posts: 257 Member
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    I'd be more annoyed that the friend of your and your husband just had a baby together...

    I was thinking the same thing...I was a bit confused here...
  • Jonalee1977
    Jonalee1977 Posts: 415 Member
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    It's just inexperience speaking. Seriously, let it go. It has nothing to do with your family being inconsiderate. I'm an "only" and it sucks. I'd give anything to have a sibling.
  • beckajw
    beckajw Posts: 1,738 Member
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    As the first born I can tell you we really are the most important

    ^^ Ha ha this!

    But seriously, I think you are taking the comment the wrong way. If you really think back and remember having your first child, everything was so new and scary. Even with two children close together, the second didn't really feel the same way, right? That's probably what he means. I'm sorry that your family wasn't as supportive about your second child. But, I don't think your husband is saying the second child is any less important, just that as new parents your friends probably need a little extra support. It is a big deal to have that first child. To have everything turn out okay. You still have concerns when you have your next children, but they do diminish a bit.
  • ninavivi
    ninavivi Posts: 48 Member
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    I'd be more annoyed that the friend of your and your husband just had a baby together...

    lol, i was typing fast. our friend.
  • jealous_loser
    jealous_loser Posts: 395
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    It happens. The oldest seem to have all the pictures and things saved from childhood. The following kids don't have as much. Everything is new with the first baby. Not so much with the ones that follow. Yes every child is special and different, but I guess it's old hat.
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
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    As the first born I can tell you we really are the most important
    ^^This is true.

    Seriously, who cares? Life isn't one big pissing contest.
  • newhabit
    newhabit Posts: 426 Member
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    opposite problem going on that annoys me. i'm not having any more and people give me crap about that all the time. like somethign is wrong with you if you only have one child. why would i have more when i don't want to? let's bring some unwanted children into the world so my kid can have a sibling? makes no sense...
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I'd be more annoyed that the friend of your and your husband just had a baby together...

    I thought the same thing. The OP is very forgiving.
  • ToughTulip
    ToughTulip Posts: 1,118 Member
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    Meh everyone is different.

    I am the oldest, and have 2 younger brothers. As first born, I am by far the favorite. My dad tells me that all the time. My next brother is the middle child, and is well, just there. Then I have a 10 yr old brother that is the baby.

    I get more special treatment, and attention. But im not complaining xD
  • MsNewBooty83
    MsNewBooty83 Posts: 1,003 Member
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    I'd be more annoyed that the friend of your and your husband just had a baby together...

    u saw trhat too eh? good eye! lol!!
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
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    is it possible that he was more referring to the experience that your friend went through? i mean, everything is changing. the experience is completely new. odds are she feels amazing and scared all at once.

    while subsequent children themselves are as important, a family knows more about what to expect and how to handle everything.
  • PaleoRDH
    PaleoRDH Posts: 266
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    Don't take it personally people just say things they don't know will offend, I'm guilty of this on a daily basis. And I'm the opposite of you, I really didn't want EVERYONE coming to see the baby when I was trying to recover from a C-section and in no mood for constant visitors. We are all different.
  • ninavivi
    ninavivi Posts: 48 Member
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    As the first born I can tell you we really are the most important

    ^^ Ha ha this!

    But seriously, I think you are taking the comment the wrong way. If you really think back and remember having your first child, everything was so new and scary. Even with two children close together, the second didn't really feel the same way, right? That's probably what he means. I'm sorry that your family wasn't as supportive about your second child. But, I don't think your husband is saying the second child is any less important, just that as new parents your friends probably need a little extra support. It is a big deal to have that first child. To have everything turn out okay. You still have concerns when you have your next children, but they do diminish a bit.

    it felt the same to me. just as scared, just and happy. I went through a lot for each one and (maybe it's just me) but i feel equally about them

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