new to this

i have been overweight my whole life. i have gained weight throughout my 22yrs of marriage. now approx 100lbs. overweight and depressed and anxiety ridden. i feel as if i am a monster that will never get out of this shell. i amm 42 yrs. and i watch everyone around me being happy and in love. i am married and have not slept in same room for 15 years, dont feel like i have a marriage just a friendship. he cheated on me many years ago and i forgave him though i didnt want too and now that i have acquired some esteem, i told him that i would like to be told i am beautiful for once, since i have been told that... he told me that he didnt think i wanted him to lie to me. so now i know that i am fed up and want to do something for me..lose weight...become healthy...get some support and confidence amd maybe someday the courage to let him go and find someone who loves me and thinks i am beautiful...so here i am looking for friends and support to help me through, hopefully, a journey which i will succeed at.

Replies

  • Pedal_Pusher
    Pedal_Pusher Posts: 1,166 Member
    Is very nice.......
  • laura4smith
    laura4smith Posts: 24 Member
    The first step is learning to find yourself beautiful. Work on you then focus on the man you want in your life.
  • shannamk40
    shannamk40 Posts: 7 Member
    I am new to this also and I would be more than excited for us to share in this journey together. I feel as you do about many of the things you mentioned. How many times have you heard you have such a beautiful face? Too many I am sure. I am now 41 and the signs of aging and heredity are settling in so I do not even feel that my face is beautiful anymore. My husband told me once that I was not attractive anymore and that any attention that I got from other men was only because they saw a chance to get in a woman's pants that had low self-esteem. He may have been right but he is not my husband anymore. Please do not keep your self more miserable than you have to be. I know it is hard to be on your own but if he doesn't think you are beautiful now he doesn't deserve to be there when you accomplish your goals and feel beautiful about yourself. Life is hard. It sucks most of the time but I know what we are looking for is out there. We just have to stick with it. Maybe with the support of others we will make it. I will do my best to encourage and help you with what you need. I hope you are willing to do the same. Congrats on taking the first step and I wish you the best of luck!
  • CoffeeJunkieMann
    CoffeeJunkieMann Posts: 95 Member
    if he doesn't think you are beautiful now he doesn't deserve to be there when you accomplish your goals and feel beautiful about yourself.

    Wow. That's pretty deep
  • thank you for the kind words...nice to know i can vent and express my feelings and go on and without feeling upset with myself. thank you!
  • Jimmytreatingtons
    Jimmytreatingtons Posts: 128 Member
    You carry on venting, best thing is you are now making the effort to put your life back on the tracks that you want it on. I'm new here myself and have seen in the board some of the positive comments given. There are plenty of people on here that will help in your hour of need.

    Good luck and stay positive and if you feel weak come on here and hopefully you will get the words to make you stronger!
  • I think your goals for losing weight for yourself only are right on. Do it for yourself and no one else. Sounds like your husband does not deserve you. Lose weight, feel beautiful about yourself and then go find someone who appreciates you.
  • careyk31
    careyk31 Posts: 2 Member
    You have to want to do this for YOU, and nobody else. Take the pride in eating right, exercising and making yourself the person you want to be. Outside approval is good but inner approval is GREAT!!
  • ppatricia81
    ppatricia81 Posts: 23 Member
    Hi everyone I'm new to this site and I have been overweight my whole life, so I've decided to make a change, I don't want to diet because I have tried that and failed, now I want to take a different approach and just try to eat healthy (chips are my weakness). So I'm hoping this site can help me out and find people in the same boat as me. My name is patty I'm 30 my weight went up 293 right now I'm at 285. I'm gonna start the gym it a couple a weeks (it a brand new gym that there opening here) so I'm pretty excited with this new journey.
  • Welcome! I'm thrilled you have made a decision to take care of you! You matter in the world and deserve to be happy and healthy, It was a big step to decide to make different choices and increase my self-esteem, although each day is a challenge, I'm learning to see myself more positively. I know I'm beautiful inside and out and truly care about others. I hope to be a support to you, this is a wonderful community!
  • kcdough
    kcdough Posts: 8
    Lose him first, then work on you. You cannot keep him and work on your self-esteem. it wont work.. he will drag you down and drain you... First, love you .. then everything else will fall in place.. support is fine.. but you have to do it own your own.. U can do it.. I did it... Still have 60 to go.. but I feel good and super sexy.. on the other hand never had a self esteem.. problem even when i was 294... so I encourage you to move one... 15 years sleeping alone.. that's for the birds. time for you to live at 42.. GO GURL!
  • You deserve to be happy and healthy. You are worth the effort. Let the beautiful person inside of you come out. Harness the power of positive thinking. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you are worth it, you are beautiful, you are special. If you husband cannot see how special you are he does not deserve you. Do this for yourself and gain the courage to reshape your life.
  • Congratulations on becoming a better you. You are so worth it! The more you focus on you, the better your life will become. No one can make you happy but yourself. Feel free to add me, I would love to support you on your journey.
  • Hello, welcome to MFP! I’m a 36 year old Mom of two from Texas. I am new to this site as well. Together with mutual encouragement and support we will be able to conquer our journey. I have found this site to be fun and supportive.

    You can do this, and do this for you! Smile with confidence you deserve the best!

    Set your mind for success, victory and progress. Cast down anything negative, any thought that brings fear, worry, doubt or unbelief. - Joel Osteen

    Friends request sent!