Problems with cleaning and organizing my apartment

I've lived the dorm life and now am living the apartment life. Even while I still lived at home with parents nagging me to clean my room, I struggled with clutter. It wasn't too bad in the dorm because I had to share a bedroom and thus keep all of my stuff on one side and relatively contained. When my boyfriend and I got our first apartment together two years ago, it was a huge culture shock, realizing that I (or I should say, we) had to actually do laundry if all of our clothes were dirty, had to do dishes in order to have things to eat on and drink out of (the first apt. had no dishwasher!), and other chores etc. I am embarrassed to admit that at one point it got really bad and we actually had a pest problem because of it. (Though I think it is also partially our apartment complex's fault, other tenants have had pest problems too). After that I kind of came to the realization that if I let things get this cluttered and dirty, A) our place is gross, and I'm unhappy, boyfriend is unhappy, we fight, it's not good. The two of us have since moved to a second apartment which is nicer than the first (it has a dishwasher!) and we're still in the process of unpacking and getting organized, but both of us are making a better effort at keeping it clean. I used to hate cleaning and feel like it took so much time and energy out of my day, but if you stop and think about it, the next time you're eating at your desk, how long would it take you to get up when you're done, take your plate to the sink, and wash it and put it away (or at least rinse it; don't know if your place has a dishwasher or not). Or if you get something out, put it away, it'll only take a second and you'll be less likely to lose things.
My advice would be that you have to make your boyfriend understand that the two of you live together, you both make messes, so you both need to clean up after yourselves. If the argument happens because "it's not my mess", that might be a different issue...My boyfriend also struggled for a while with cleaning up after himself because prior to living with me he lived at home w/parents, but he needs to know that you're not a maid! And you should set the example for him by picking up after yourself, and encouraging him to help you clean areas that you both use like the kitchen, bathroom, etc.
Sorry for the long post but hope it's helpful, and good luck!

First thing to do is get ready of the stuff you DON'T use. Making room for stuff you never use is a waste of space. Then strategically set things that you use (say dishes and utensils) closer together. For some reason when I put them further apart, things ended up on the counter more. So keep the pots and pans closer to the stove/oven, utensils closer to the plates, etc.
Make it a goal to try to keep your counter free of clutter. This helps to cut down on just "stacking".
Most of the time you just have to make it routine. I'm now OCD about clean up that I even do it in the gym when I'm not even on the clock. I find myself restacking weights when I'm "resting" between sets.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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I used to be like that- and my parents made me clean my room! It was a running joke in my sorority that my room had two paths amongst the crap- one to my bed and one to the bathroom. Idk if this will be much help, but a) little by little. if it helps you to pat yourself on the back for putting laundry away then go for it! b) keep working on it- if you truly want to change it, you will. I am now not quite a neat freak, but whereas I used to clean MAYBE once a month...it's a few times a week now. Good luck! :flowerforyou: