Really heavy family

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Brotherdeath76
Brotherdeath76 Posts: 14
in Introduce Yourself
When I started this journey I weighed 285 lbs and was by 100 lbs the definite smallest person in my family. My brothers are both tall and very heavy pushing the 400lb range. My father is my height and very also. Close to 400lbs. My mom is virtually bed ridden and folds upon folds. It is hard to do much with my family. I have offered help and advice but have received Nos and I don't have time or its harder than I thought. I feel very outcast

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  • Will_Lift_4_Shoes
    Will_Lift_4_Shoes Posts: 238 Member
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    Sometimes you have to realize that while you want to be helpful and tell you family what works, you have to just make the changes for yourself. You can't rely on others to change with you.
  • LoraleiDean
    LoraleiDean Posts: 100
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    Sorry to hear that this brings you down
    I also have heavy people in my family, people whos lives are potentially in danger due to their excess weight. Much as we love and want to help them, we can't force health down their throats.
    Keep on your personal road to a healthy lifestyle, and maybe somewhere down the road your family will decide that they want the same for themselves.
    It's wonderful that you have managed to turn your life around. Keep up the good work and you will be rewarded!
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,143 Member
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    I can imagine how hard it is to see your family killing themselves. But if you have offered suggestions only to be rebuffed, let it go. Perhaps one day, their bodies will give them enough of a scare that they will change their minds.

    The only thing else I can say is congrats on your weight loss!!
  • mmarcy7
    mmarcy7 Posts: 227 Member
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    My family is heavy too, and my parents have lots of health problems because of it. I just look at it as motivation for me to NOT end up like that. I tell them what I am doing and they can see the results. Nothing more I can do. We will see if I avoid the health problems they have - knee and hip replacements, heart stents, arthritis, etc.
  • Eve23
    Eve23 Posts: 2,352 Member
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    I know when I began others around me were not paying any attention to diet. I just began. I would make sure there were healthy items on the table, made sure I was cooking in a healthy manner and did not really discuss it. Just made the small changes in how we cooked and what we ate. I also made an effort to take a walk or what ever I was doing ( anything active) asked if anyone wanted to join me. Some did some didn't.

    Over a few months the interest was there for it to become a conversation. Now often times I find I am the one who is behind the curve and they are all doing really well.

    Most of all make the change for yourself. Make sure you are showing these changes in a positive light. It will help them see it isn't as bad as they may think.
  • DJJW
    DJJW Posts: 519 Member
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    Here too, I've got lots of family that will talk to me about it and how they can do it to, but then it's followed by "why aren't you having more cake?" Its hard :(
  • reneecgc
    reneecgc Posts: 179 Member
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    I constantly get teased by my family about counting my calories. Even though I am basically at my target weight they don't understand that maintenance is just as important. My sister who is overweight is trying by doing some exercise but her food
    choices are bad. She actually does not eat enough and what she eats is usually not a good choice. I have asked
    her to just count her calories just to figure out how many calories she is eating and the nutritional breakdown of
    protein, carbs and sugar. Knowledge is powerful. She says she can't she doesn't have enough time, but she
    plays all kinds of games on Facebook. MFP has become my facebook. As long as you have everyone on MFP and
    your lovely supportive wife I think you will be all right.
  • gwenmf
    gwenmf Posts: 888 Member
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    When I started this journey I weighed 285 lbs and was by 100 lbs the definite smallest person in my family. My brothers are both tall and very heavy pushing the 400lb range. My father is my height and very also. Close to 400lbs. My mom is virtually bed ridden and folds upon folds. It is hard to do much with my family. I have offered help and advice but have received Nos and I don't have time or its harder than I thought. I feel very outcast

    Everyone does things when they are ready and not before. Don't feel like an outcast.....just give it time..........their fear of failure may be holding them back...........keep doing what you're doing...........they may come around.......and if not, you're taking great care of yourself as you should. That was your decision but may not be theirs. I'm sorry you're going thru a hard time with it. But you really are doing great things for yourself.
  • rmn1972
    rmn1972 Posts: 20
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    Unfortunately you can only be responible for you. Even though you want so badly to help your family, you really already know that the only one who can make a decision to change their life is that family member.
    What you CAN do is do your best to make the necessary changes in your own life and hope that your example will be the thing that inspires them to be like you!
    Good luck and keep working!
  • Brotherdeath76
    Brotherdeath76 Posts: 14
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    Thank you and i so agree, this has become facebook for my wife and i and our lives are 180 from what they used to be
  • DJJW
    DJJW Posts: 519 Member
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    That's great that your spouse is in it with you, my first 1/2 of this journey I was 100% alone, and now Hubby is on the train!
  • cindysue69
    cindysue69 Posts: 1 Member
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    I do not come from a heavy family, but I have also felt like an outcast at times. Being heavy has been a part of my life for a long time. Just remember this journey is yours, but they will benifit as they continue to see you succeed. Trust in the Lord with all you do and He will make your path straight.
    Praying for your continue journey!
  • Brotherdeath76
    Brotherdeath76 Posts: 14
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    That's great that your spouse is in it with you, my first 1/2 of this journey I was 100% alone, and now Hubby is on the train!
    I actually started this journey when i got tired of doctors telling me i was "the healthiest fat guy they ever saw" I finally found a octor who helps me out and calls me out. I am hypoglycemic and in real danger of losing my job due to loss of DOT cert if i dont fix the problem now. My wife took the bus from there and has driven past me. Now i am pleased to try to keep up.
  • DJJW
    DJJW Posts: 519 Member
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    Hubby was struggling on the exercising and he can now keep up and pass me too. I think it's great (but sometimes I still want to be the speedy one) lol

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