Emotions tied to weight loss/maintenance?

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eileen0809
eileen0809 Posts: 16
in Motivation and Support
Hi All,

Just an observation/question. I seem to be hitting my weight-loss stride and this morning I am wearing jeans in a size that I couldn't get past my knees 3 months ago (yay!). BUT with the loss of my love handles I seem to have lost a bit of, well, padding from the outside world if that makes sense. And I get noticed more (in a good way), and that hasn't happened in a while. It feels good, but I also feel very conspicuous after years of being ignored becausde I was a bit overweight. Anyone else ever feel like this? I'm doing everything I can to mentally adjust, especially because I don't want to sabotage myself now that I'm doing well. Just wanted to know if anyone else experienced similar emotions.

Thanks!

Replies

  • eileen0809
    eileen0809 Posts: 16
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    Hi All,

    Just an observation/question. I seem to be hitting my weight-loss stride and this morning I am wearing jeans in a size that I couldn't get past my knees 3 months ago (yay!). BUT with the loss of my love handles I seem to have lost a bit of, well, padding from the outside world if that makes sense. And I get noticed more (in a good way), and that hasn't happened in a while. It feels good, but I also feel very conspicuous after years of being ignored becausde I was a bit overweight. Anyone else ever feel like this? I'm doing everything I can to mentally adjust, especially because I don't want to sabotage myself now that I'm doing well. Just wanted to know if anyone else experienced similar emotions.

    Thanks!
  • banks1850
    banks1850 Posts: 3,475 Member
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    I guess this is what they call the burdon of the beautiful people. :tongue:

    Seriously though, I guess if you have to have a problem, this is the one to have, that
    doesn't mean it's any less difficult to deal with though. Not sure how one would handle this
    specific issue. I guess having a good friend around to talk to would help, if you have nobody
    to confide in, you could take your concerns here, I guarantee you that we would be
    willing to help you.
    The only thing I can think of to say is, remember, this is for YOU! Not for those other
    people looking at you, the only thing you sabotage by gaining those pounds back, is
    your health and the years of good life you are adding by being healthy, and your happieness!

    I don't know if that helps, but I hope it does.
  • eileen0809
    eileen0809 Posts: 16
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    Thank you! It does :happy:

    It was somehow easier when I was doing the weight-loss thing quietly (it took 4 months before anyone noticed significant weight loss!) and 'just for me', but now the comments have started and I just have to deal. The friends I do talk to look at me like I'm crazy and just tell me to enjoy it. Just new feelings I guess. When I get used to 'em I'll be a terror!
  • lotusfromthemud
    lotusfromthemud Posts: 5,335 Member
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    This is something I experience. Without getting too autobiographical, I was an "early bloomer" (and a large bloomer, if you catch my meaning) as a young girl (something that seems more common nowadays, but not in the 70s) I got a lot of unwanted attention, and I think this led me to put on weight to cover up.

    I held on to the weight for lots of reasons, and now that I've lost weight I am dealing with the same kind of attention. It can feel sort of violating, I think. But, people look at other people, and pay attention to attractive ones. You must OWN your new body, and this that goes with it. I know that this is easier said than done, but it's your new body, and it's better for you to live in than your older, heavier one.

    One of the things my doctor told me that has been very useful is: "you're releasing weight because you don't need it anymore". Often people put on weight because it serves them on a psychological level (an insulator from the outside world, just like you said). If it's in your resources, you might want to find a professional counselor to help you through this. :flowerforyou:
  • cardgrl
    cardgrl Posts: 175 Member
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    Wow! Congratulations on your new jeans! I am so proud of you and thank you for sharing your experience with us! Your expression when you write makes me wonder why you don't post here more often?!
    I can't say that I feel that way. Maybe when I start to shed some of these pounds, I will have more of a feeling for it...I have been bouncing between a size 6 and a size 18 since my teen years. I have always had a problem with weight and body image, long before I ever had a weight problem. I could be 75 pounds and still think I looked fat, if you get what I mean. I don't know what will happen when I actually get the body I so desperately want and need, and I actually had to work for it.
    I hate to be cliche, but you have worked so hard for your new bod, show it off! That doesn't mean that you don't have to feel violated with people checking you out, but as viviakay said, think of when you see a beautiful person and just HAVE to look at them...their body, clothes, hair, etc. That's what's happening to you, you are shedding your excess pounds and your inner sex-kitten is starting to show! One day, you will embrace it and love it! I can't wait for that day (hopefully)...!
    Again, thank you for sharing with us!
  • RAESKI54
    RAESKI54 Posts: 3
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    :drinker: That is a great encouragement to me. I have a black pair of jeans in my closet that I cannot wear because I have gained too much weight. As a matter of fact those jeans pushed me into my diet routine. I hope to get into those jeans in the next 3 weeks or so. Great News!!--Oh yea--sorry about the saboteurs--that is just a fact of life!! You find them everywhere. You must understand--they feel so bad about themselves they sabotage your success to make themselves feel better. I know its hard and tempting, but stick to your diet. It is not about them anyway--Its about you.
  • tdroseler
    tdroseler Posts: 165
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    i have had a different experience...
    for years and years, and even now, i have used weight to "cover up" my insecurities. For some reason i grew to not have faith inmyself and my abilities. It is strange, i mean i am sucessful in the career i have chosen. I love my job even, not many people can say that. I have all that i need in life. I have a partner who adores me, and i, him. Not that my life is perfect, but i am constantly waiting for "the other shoe to drop"
    point is...as long as i am fat, i have something to blame my "failings" on. if i don't quite measure up. The kicker part is, it works both ways, lol...i can blame my being fat on my "failings" cause i eat when i am upset.
    When i have lost weight, i have felt good about myself, as long as someone tells me i look better than ever. When that peters out...i go back to old paterns. and gain the weight back.
    Sounds rather warped, doesn't it, lol.
    It takes a lot to come to realize what exactly the cause of your emotions are. i do recommend trying to find out. there are some wonderful books out there that can explain things way better than i can.
    It really is a better world to live in when you can gain control over these emotions that seek to sabatoge all our incredible efforts.
  • eileen0809
    eileen0809 Posts: 16
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    Thank you all!

    When I set out to make myself healthier I did a whole bunch of reading and I read that emotions have a ton to do with long term weight loss and are often the cause of gaining in the first place and blah blah blah. At the time though, I was more focused on the immediate need of "if I gain any more weight my pants will split" - and the exercise and junk food avoidance was easier.

    Now that the urgency has passed somewhat, I'm finding more and more that state of mind is going to be key to long term (especially since I still tend to reward or comfort myself with pizza and chocolate). I'm not saying I'm glad to know there are others with similar issues (I wish none of us had them!), but I'm feelin' solidarity from y'all!

    I guess my next challenge to myself - and to you all - will be this: not just to identify the emotional triggers of eating the bad stuff, but figuring out how to avoid and or deal with them without eating my weight in Entenmanns :smile: Any tips would be welcome, and I'll keep you all posted with what I learn!
  • mollymay
    mollymay Posts: 34
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    during my endeavors with weight loss I have found it helpful to simply ignore unwanted or rude remarks or looks. But if people were congratulating or tasteful with their compliments I would thank them. It worked for me.
  • nopogal
    nopogal Posts: 162
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    I've DEFINITELY gone through the same thing most of my life. Losing weight can be very emotional, just as gaining it was. I've always been the fat friend, so losing my title, no matter how awful it was, made me feel like I was losing a part of myself. Remember: you are not your fat. You are the same person inside. You are honoring your body with a healthier way of life. It's hard to lose the insulation (from the world, too, I believe someone said and I AGREE!) but you're still the same good person inside, so let it be known!

    Congrats on the jeans! That's so exciting!!!
  • Razboo
    Razboo Posts: 439 Member
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    I just work it, baby! Worse things could be happening. :laugh:

    But seriously, as a guy I can only attempt to understand what it is like for a woman in that situation. Don't let the remarks mess you up in your program. As disrepectful as they are, they are sort of proof of your progress.

    I doubt that helps one bit, though.
  • boojaboo
    boojaboo Posts: 2
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    I am glad you are doing so well. Just remember that you lost that weight for you and for your health.

    We assume are worst fears when someone sizes us up. Right now that fear is your new body image. You need to become comfortable with yourself. At some point being overweight everyone feels someone is staring at them and thinking they are unattractive. Now your thoughts are changed but you're reacting the same.

    Try standing in front of your mirror naked everyday and look at yourself for at least a minute. Fat or thin you need to get comfortable in you own skin. You are beautiful no matter what you weigh. Love your self. :smile:
  • julieofthewolves
    julieofthewolves Posts: 339 Member
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    I think the bottom line is we need to feel healthy and confident in our own skin. So some of us who are experiencing change it might be similar to breaking in a new pair of shoes - you might get some blisters - but you break them in they become part of you. You don't even notice them anymore as anything besides comfortable. The memories of the blisters and soreness fade and all you feel is GOOD. It is a change and its not just physical. It's so good that you are aware of what you are feeling. Acknowledge the changes that you feel and that you are noticing and embrace the new you, because you will be successful at this!
  • RAESKI54
    RAESKI54 Posts: 3
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    I have been on a diet roller coaster for 20 years and I know just what you mean. I am at the point now where I don't even let people know I am on a diet unless I have too (like when they bring the home-made red velvet cake to work!). When I did loose large sums of weight and dress sizes the compliments made me feel good at first, but then I felt like you-- quite conspicuous! It got to a point one time when I lost 60 pounds that I tried to keep a low profile because I got tired of people saying "Wow how much weight have you lost? You look great etc etc." I know they were just being honest and nice, but it made me feel weird after a while!

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