My sister puts me down ):

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blinkiii
blinkiii Posts: 90
in Motivation and Support
So lately, I've been trying to eat a lot healthier and lose weight before college and my sister has not been happy with me at all. We're both "overweight" according to our BMI's and when I told her that I was trying to lose weight, she started making fun of me and saying that I'll never do it. She's also taken to giving me the silent treatment when I don't eat "junk" with her. What am I supposed to do?! I want to lose weight but I also love my sister and don't want anything to get between us..

It's just really hard with negative support surrounding me :/

Replies

  • shabaity
    shabaity Posts: 791 Member
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    well 1 bmi is not everything talk to your doc about a healthy weight for you 2 if she wants to be a brat because you are choosing a healthier change thats her issue
  • RitaMarieCB
    RitaMarieCB Posts: 11
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    Sounds like she's jealous because you want to do something for your health. Just remember that every time she says something and ignore what she says.
  • JenniferNoll
    JenniferNoll Posts: 367 Member
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    She's jealous and doesn't want to be the "fat sister." I know how it is. Seriously, just don't talk to her about your weight loss journey. Just tell her you don't like whatever junk she's eating. Tell her it makes you sick if you eat it, if you must. Just don't let her keep you from living a healthier life.
  • Sassy9411
    Sassy9411 Posts: 67 Member
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    I agree with that people have said. Negative support is hard to have, but maybe you can convince her to join you on losing weight? She may be jealous too that you're doing something for your health while she isn't. Negative support is hard to have, but as long as your positive and stay focused you can do this! Don't let negativity bring you down. :smile:
  • Dad_of_3
    Dad_of_3 Posts: 517 Member
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    It's the fact she is not willing to put for the effort and sacrifice to get healthy. Invite/challenge her to join you. If she refuses, you then have the ammunition to shoot her down for her jealousy should she choose not to join you in your journey.

    Looks like the poster just before me was thinking the same thing!
  • jessimurph
    jessimurph Posts: 50 Member
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    She is being a jerk about it, but the only thing you can do is work on yourself and try not to talk to her about it. She may start seeing your results and come to you for advice, but until that time don't discuss it with her or judge the way she's choosing to live her life. Good for you! I hope she comes around and starts being supportive of you.
  • Amazon_Who
    Amazon_Who Posts: 1,092 Member
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    It may be she is not ready to face she own weight problems. Try to remember,, just because she is not ready to change doesn't mean you can't.
  • Jenny_Lou20
    Jenny_Lou20 Posts: 60 Member
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    My mom sort of did the same thing to me...just in a different way.

    I would start the diet and start eating healthier and then she would go and bake a pan of Brownies(which she knows is my MAJOR weakness), then she'd buy potato chips and unhealthy things she knew I would struggle with.

    I don't know if she did it on purpose, or just had horrible timing.

    But....the last 3 times I've tried to diet this has happened and I have caved to that glorious pan of brownies!!!

    This time, I told her straight up that she ALWAYS brings unhealthy stuff into the house when I try to diet.

    This time, she hasn't baked anything, or bought anything that is going to tempt me.

    She's also being really awesome on the support system, when I recorded my first weight loss she was super happy.

    She's overweight too, and has been since she was pregnant with me(20 years ago), so I'm hoping that me getting healthy will help her getting healthy.

    So I think you should just tell your sister how you feel, tell her you WANT to get healthy for you because you have goals in life and you're young and you won't make it if you don't get healthy now. If she gets mad, then so be it, she's being immature and if she was smart she'd join you on this journey.

    Like other people have said, maybe once she sees your results she will decide to join you :) Good luck hunnay :)
  • blinkiii
    blinkiii Posts: 90
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    Thanks for all of the support guys!
    I guess it's just really hard because she's not only my sister, but also my best friend. We do everything together and to not have her support or to have her ignore me just really feels like a punch in the gut.
  • blinkiii
    blinkiii Posts: 90
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    I would start the diet and start eating healthier and then she would go and bake a pan of Brownies(which she knows is my MAJOR weakness), then she'd buy potato chips and unhealthy things she knew I would struggle with.

    Today, my mom decided to buy chips ahoy cookies, nutter butters and a carton of ice cream (in my favorite flavor). I understand completely!
  • PinkPaintedLady
    PinkPaintedLady Posts: 67 Member
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    Don't let others bring you down! Surround yourself with people who are willing to support you. You are doing an amazing thing for yourself and that should earn you a pat on the back, not a slap in the face. I feel you on this though, as I began my journey with my cousin, who after one week decided to opt out and poke fun at my meals (which he refers to as "rabbit food") Let your sisters negative comments motivate you and hang in there!
  • sexikc
    sexikc Posts: 153 Member
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    I think you should just ignore itand take this opportunity to be an inspiration to her...when she sees you looking and feeling better maybe she will want to jump on board....
  • mona_patty
    mona_patty Posts: 170
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    Stop paying attention to all the negativity. You continue on your weightloss journey with or without them. Your sister is afraid that everything will change between you two. Plus she is afraid cause she isn't willing to change her bad ways.

    Talk to her and tell her why you are doing this and see if she would like to join you. It's a process and there will always be a lot of people putting you down. You just stay with your head up high. You can do this!

    Stay strong.
  • nyYankeesGirl2012
    nyYankeesGirl2012 Posts: 17
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    ive learned that i can eat WHAT I WANT, i just need to be more conscious. i drink a glass of ice water, then eat what i want, it makes you eat less... honesly ive barely changed what i eat (except that i cut out drinking calories ie pop and juices) and ive lost 10 lbs, you can still be you, its definitely a good start to eat what you do too... good luck :)
  • islandnutshel
    islandnutshel Posts: 1,143 Member
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    Her treatment is not loving or supportive, and you should ask her for her support. I understand that it is difficult when someone close to you gets all enthusiastic about being healthy when you are still in the denial stage, but if she wasn't being selfish she would be happy for you. You need to make it clear that this is a decision you are making for yourself and that you need to surround yourself with supportive respectful people. You may need to calmly talk this one out and make her understand you are serious.
  • halobender
    halobender Posts: 780 Member
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    I honestly don't understand why someone would make fun of another for eating healthy and trying to get in shape ... I mean, it would be one thing if all you ate were alfalfa sprouts, carrots and lettuce, but that seems unlikely.

    I've had people make fun for trying to be relatively healthy, as I'll make a casual comment about not wanting to eat something because it's too sweet, too salty, ridiculous in calories (seriously, hostess pies? 470 calories each, and they're like two bites!) or whatever, but I just look at them like they're idiots. Because they are. And then typically I make fun of them for being fat or having no muscle mass or only eating candy or something.

    Honestly, she's your sister. If she's your best friend then you can probably do something like that ... you know, just say "Well, I don't want to be fat like you" or something really catty. She might not talk to you for a week or a month or maybe even more, but she's your sister and basically she would have to forget about it ... or you could give a fake apology and say you only said it because she had gotten on your last nerve.

    I can be kind of a jerk about things like that, but people irritate me and I don't like taking their crap, haha. Honestly I didn't talk to my sister once for six months, not even a little bit. Even going so far as to not invite her to my birthday at my mom's house. But then, she and I have never been that close ... but even she and I talk still and are friendly, and talk about hanging out. We just never do.
  • therron26
    therron26 Posts: 1 Member
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    The way we live is a choice, don't allow others to take away your choice because they don't either have the guts to do what needs to be done, or the will to try. Your journey should be for you and you only and if she is not willing to accept that, then love her, but love yourself more and get healthy. She will soon follow suit if it is her will to live a healthy life. Be blessed and good luck! The road is long but the reward is greater!

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