i really just need this for me

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throughout my high school years, i gained way more weight than i should have. i went throught a lot, depression being one of them. my senior year things got a lot better actually though, and ive had some difficult realizations... and i just need to lose weight. ]to be healthy and feel better about myself are the main reasons. During prom, i was the first time i realized how big of a probelm my weight was... i bought my dream dress (a size 22) and in the month i waited for prom i must have gained more weight, bc the day of prom my dress didnt fit... actually 45 minutes before reservations i went to put my dress on, my friends went to zip it up and the zipper was broke. my friends tried making me feel better "the dress was probably just broke before, youre fine it wasnt your fault" well when $200 is sitting at my feet and i have NO back up plan to wear to prom... i cried. i ended up fitting into my friends dress from the year before, im not even sure how, i got lucky. then as a family we went to an amusement park... and i didnt even fit into MY FAVORITE ride. i fit in all the others (barely) but still. that was the most embarassing moment ever having to get off and wait for my family. and ever since then my brother ALWAYS mentions how fat i am. and i know he only means it because i pick on him about little thiings... like i said "jeez, i have to wake up at 5 am to take you to football practice!?!!" and he said "at least i play sports, and im not just getting fatter... like you" see i played softball in highschool (my freshman year) but then i started going through depression, and i didnt want to play anymore, i lost my love for the game. i was the star player on the JV team, and couldve easily played for college, but i quit... to this day i regret quitting, and it just stings even more when he brings up the weight and sports. so i need to lose this weight for me, my health, my confidence, and to show everyone that i can. i started at 280, and today i weighed in at 268.6.... i am very proud of what ive done in only a week and a half, however i have a long way to go. my goal weight is 150-160, however being under 200 will be a HUGE achievement for me, and every pound is one pound closer. well thanks for reading. i just feel like i need to tell my story to others, and also remind myself why im doing this. THANKS <3

Replies

  • blinkiii
    blinkiii Posts: 90
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    Hey! Welcome to MFP. Your story absolutely breaks my heart because I can understand how you feel :/ Hell, I didn't even go to my prom due to self-confidence issues lol. Feel free to add me (: I'd be more than happy to support you in your journey!
  • PinkPaintedLady
    PinkPaintedLady Posts: 67 Member
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    I can absolutely relate to your story. I began my struggle with weight after high school because I was no longer involved in sports, suffered from depression and moved out of the rents house only to learn that eating healthy at the ripe age of 18 was NOT on my list of priorities. In response to the title of this post...you DESERVE this...we all do. So keep at it and if you need support along the way, feel free to add me, I know I could use some support myself! good luck!
  • nyYankeesGirl2012
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    thank you both :) i really appriciate it, and its nice knowing i wasnt the only one... at my highschool it kind of seemed like i was the only one... which kind of made it harder but THANK YOU :)
  • TheePhoenix
    TheePhoenix Posts: 26 Member
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    I definitely can relate to you. I never went to my prom because of my weight. I also know what it feels like to be ridiculed because of your weight too by family members. I have the same problem. I believe that you have added me as a friend. If you ever feel like you need to talk, I'm a good listener. You've done well so far by the sounds of it! Be proud! Don't let others drag you down. Only YOU can decide how you want to feel. =]
  • mona_patty
    mona_patty Posts: 170
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    Don't look at the past at what you were, or what you could've done. Look to what you will become.

    I am sorry you went thru that :( I was not overweight until I hit my 20s (30 lbs overweight) but as i hit in my late 20s and early 30s ive been more or less 40-50 lbs overweight, I was diagnosed with PCOS in my early 20s, which I kind of blamed for and I guess it was to blame, but i had to take responsibility too. i have to learn to let nothing or no one get in the way.

    Congrats on your weight loss. It requires dedication and hard work to do this..... And you are definitely a strong person.
  • nyYankeesGirl2012
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    thank you :) everyone... it really means a lot, i feel even more motivated, and i love this website bc it has such awesome people to support :) thank you
  • Ray50296
    Ray50296 Posts: 58 Member
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    I was overweight in high school. I lost 85 pounds after high school and kept it off for 2 years. I became pregnant and gained some back. then I gained some more, And found out that I'm bipolar...Well my daughter is now 5 and I decided I couldn't "Blame" having a child for the extra weight. I am strong as an ox but fat too. I started MFP July 12th. SInce then I've lost 2 inches from my waist and 3 1/2 from my hips! I am only down 8 lbs, but it's steadily coming off.
    You deserve this! I deal with depression myself so I know how that is. But you are doing so good, just keep up the great work. I am glad to motivate people and also appreciate others that encourage me! I'm here for you girl!! :bigsmile:
  • pinksparklevapor1965
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    you are a beautiful person my weight prob just came out of no where wehn i was young i was very active.. but i was never a small girl but not fat either.then something changed at age 14 I had my first baby.. so i gained a little wieight still very active lol 3 days after my first baby was bron i came home my mother had to come get me out of the streets i was rollor skating you know i was still a kid .. so them another babt came oh and eating was my best friend so food became my idol.. then more baby and more eating and more losing weight and gaining and honestly it has been a rollor coster but im getting off of that one.. I want to feel as free as the day i was on those roller skates sailing away hang in there thanks for the beautiful share have a Blessed weekend:drinker:
  • nyYankeesGirl2012
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    wow thank you guys :)
  • LeslieG805
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    When I was in school it seemed I was always one size bigger than everyone. If I was a 7 they were a 5, if I was a 12 they were a 10. I've always been 'thick' and more of a spectator when it comes to sports. I am now 45 years young with a few health problems and let me tell you if I had to do it all over again, I would've done some kind of exercise weekly if not daily.
    I am over 200lbs currently and I have had in the past, mean people make remarks...I've never told anyone this but once walking thru a parking lot at a club, a car full of guys drove by and one yelled out the window, 'Hey baby do you charge by the pound'...my Grandmother once told me, 'Mija you're too pretty to be fat'...And then there are the ones who DON'T recognize your progress - thats hurts the same. My sister once said, 'Wow you've really lost a lot of weight, me and Dad didnt want to say anything because we didnt want it to go to your head'...??? Yes people dont realize what they say a lot of the time. But you are right, do this for you! Take care of you only to feel better with everyday, little by little we wake up feeling better and before we know it it makes us stronger on the inside. I am telling you all this to help myself as well. :)
    The best thing for me right now is MFP and honestly - the WII FIT!! It makes exercise NOT feel like exercise; its fun! Tracking my fitness (fun) there and here is now my workout routine.
    Good luck to you I know you can do it and I wish you much happiness in life and with yourself - because you know thats really what matters :smile:
  • nyYankeesGirl2012
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    that sounds a lot like me... in seventh grade a kid asked if i was pregnant or just fat... i cried for a long time and honestly just ate my feelings... but i just decided that i need to change the way i think about those things, no longer get sad by them but look at them as motivation, and make something good of them... my friends always make fat jokes (not about me) but when i looked at who they were talking about i would think "they arent much bigger than i am" and i dont wanna be like that anymore. i dont enjoy picking on people and i dont enjoy being picked on... Motivation is key...thats why i try to turn negative things to positive now. :) thank you for sharing that
  • Browneyedgirl140
    Browneyedgirl140 Posts: 102 Member
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    People/kids can be so mean. Just remember you are doing this for you and you only. I joined MFP when I realized I kept gaining weight after high school and I needed to get it in check before something happened health wise. People on here are really supportive because they are going through a lot of the same things. Feel free to add me :)
  • sandy54815
    sandy54815 Posts: 3 Member
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    Hi!
    Congrats on your weight loss already I also started at 280 pounds and it took me nearly 4 weeks to get to where you are so I think you're amazing! Feel free to add me!
  • slboling
    slboling Posts: 117 Member
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    You will succeed by being honest to yourself most of all. You can do this!!!
  • nyYankeesGirl2012
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    thank you guys :) its truely amazing to know that people are so supportive... i tried to diet and lose weight many times... but since using MFP i really have been taking it seriously, all the support helps!! thank you all again! :)