Struggling...& just need to vent

Catie_v2
Catie_v2 Posts: 67
edited 3:16PM in Motivation and Support
I have been tracking on MFP for 51 days now and have been happy with my progress. I am very happy with this site, the encouragement I receive (and try to give) from my friends [always room for more!], I wear my Fitbit religiously, belong to a gym, get to the grocery store regularly, but.....I am starting to slip down that slippery slope I always seem to find.

After having some success I start to sabotage myself. Had mutliple days this week where I consciously overdid it with food (I did track it)...always with the attitiude that I can start over the next day - but more times than not that did not happen. Exercise has been going by the wayside as well.

I know that it falls to me solely to change this. I do believe that I have it in me to continue developing the changes in my lifestyle that will help me reach my goal. But even though I have a significant amount of weight to lose, I think I fear success. If I fail now so early in the journey no one will notice. If I fail after I succeed, everyone will know... I am doing this work for me only - yet the opinions of others do have an impact on me. It is such a mind game & that is frustrating me.

How do you push through when you are your own worse enemy? Sigh....thanks for listening. :brokenheart:

Replies

  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,487 Member
    First of all great job for tracking even on your "bad" days! That is a huge start - you're clearly still committed and want this.

    If you quit now, no one else might know, but you will. Is that something you can live with? Knowing you had the tools for success, the desire for success and chose not to go for it?

    You can do it. Just keep going. Not every day will be perfect, but if you have more good days than bad you will get there.
  • Cheryl188
    Cheryl188 Posts: 113 Member
    You are not alone. I've sang this same song many times. I don't know what advice to give except it's doable...it's very hard, but doable. Each day I need to make myself do what I know is right. I often don't when it comes to eating right, but I keep going. I've been setting my weekly exercise challenges every Sunday when we plan our meals. I tell as many people as I can so I stay accountable. I have not lost weight in over a month. Am I discouraged? Yes. Am I quitting? NEVER!
  • Cheryl188
    Cheryl188 Posts: 113 Member
    I'll add one of my favorite quotes. "Remember that girl who quit? Neither does anyone else."
  • georgie_lou
    georgie_lou Posts: 225 Member
    I paid for, and entered a 5k run for October. I HATE wasting money and know that I dont want to embarass myself at this run. It's kept me motivated and going to the gym! I told everyone too...so they're expecting great things lol. I thrive under pressure
  • Mummyadams
    Mummyadams Posts: 1,125 Member
    I'll add one of my favorite quotes. "Remember that girl who quit? Neither does anyone else."
    LOVE this!
  • nsalerno90
    nsalerno90 Posts: 68
    I do the same thing -- I start doing really well and then I relax and decide to veer off my plan for a meal, or for a day and then I get discouraged and want to quit. Sometimes I know I am my own worst enemy. Of course I am having no success losing -- I have numerous health issues that get in the way of a functioning metabolism so that gets really hard too.

    My guess is that just acknowledging that you do this -- and in public - is a huge step in the right direction. I would be happy to work through it with you. . . if you want to friend me that would be great.
  • spiregrain
    spiregrain Posts: 254 Member
    Do you know the Seinfeld trick? "Don't break the chain"? I don't do it exactly like that but I like to feel a little "competitive with myself" and go for a "streak" where I am under my goal every day for x days. Makes me feel accomplished each day.
  • skinimin
    skinimin Posts: 252 Member
    Everytime I have gotten within 2-3kg of my goal weight I have done what you are doing, eaten badly, thinking I can fix it the next day but don't.

    You can do it! It gets hard as you start to get more into it, you've been doing it for a while and I think sometimes the initial excitement runs out and then it's just "oh I still can't eat what I want?". HANG IN THERE, go over all of your goals and reasons for doing this again, get that excitement back that you are making a change and you are going to see results!
  • GurleyGirl524
    GurleyGirl524 Posts: 578 Member
    it happens to us all. Set small achievable goals. "Today I will not drink soda." "Today I will walk 10 more minutes". "I will an extra serving of veggies". Just small things that add up and become habit. Good for you for logging the down falls as well. You might also try keeping a journal. Are the events that stress you on your sabotage days? Hormones might be playing a roll as well. Just stick with it even through the hard times. Keep the small short term goals within reach. Once you get the small things down, think about the big picture and set the big goal. What is the reward you will give yourself? Obviously better health and a better understanding of fitness and nutrition are the ultimate reward, but is their a certain pair of shoes you have been eyeing? A nice vacation?

    You can do this!! Keep leaning on your MFP friends and log daily, the good and the bad.
  • yadutwum
    yadutwum Posts: 7
    You are never alone. This journey is going to be the best one of your life. You always have this forum to vent and tell it like it is and no one will judge you. Even though the journey is personal individually, collectively we are all going through the same emotional ups and downs as you have described. Stay focused and keep your eyes on the prize. It is okay to fall down but always find a way to get back up. The race is not won by the swift but to the strong. Keep your chin up
  • mcedes02
    mcedes02 Posts: 56 Member
    Have a good heart to heart w/urself and ask urself how bad do we really want this??? I think onink that once its a true life style change it becomes easier. I battle myself a lot not to have the bad things I so enjoy but when I look in the mirrow I see the differences I'm making and. its a good reminder. Tomorrow IS a new day...a new begining. Get back up and get realy to start a clean slate again. YOU CAN DO IT! Set small goals to reach for so that u have more accomplishments to velebrate and encourage urself for!!!!! Add me if u want also. More friends more encouragement.......more sucess!!!!
  • lcn1220
    lcn1220 Posts: 124 Member
    Do you know the Seinfeld trick? "Don't break the chain"? I don't do it exactly like that but I like to feel a little "competitive with myself" and go for a "streak" where I am under my goal every day for x days. Makes me feel accomplished each day.

    Haha, here's my "DO NOT BREAK THE CHAIN" from my workout journal:

    donotbreakthechain.jpg

    OP: I second the suggestion to set small manageable goals--I've always found them psychologically helpful. While tomorrow is a new day, learn to look at your next meal/next workout as a new opportunity to do better. If you've blown the diet by noon, forgive yourself but self correct in the next meal or by the time you close out your journal tonight. If you missed the am workout or just didn't have it in you to get to a gym, go for a 30 min walk and do some pushups/situps at home. When you're trying to establish new exercise and diet habits, don't get too frustrated with yourself for not getting it all correct and perfect in one go. Even when you're struggling, the little things you manage to get down do eventually add up. Don't let a day pass without doing something (however small) that gets you closer to your goal.
  • walkermom58
    walkermom58 Posts: 86 Member
    I've been a yo-yo dieter my whole life. It is hard and discouraging, but using MFP seems to make a difference this time. Tracking is easier and more importantly, these message boards have been a big encouragement to me. So keep tracking, don't give up, and know that we are all in this together. We CAN do this!
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    it happens. we all go through slumps.

    sometimes having a long term goal like "look great for next years beach vacation" can be motivating, but sometimes it can seem so far away and pointless as the results are taking too long.

    try making smaller goals like others suggested. managable goals too. like "i will exercise at least 3 times this week," and that way if you sneak in a fourth, you did a little extra.

    you know, something that i like, is to pick a race or a competition say, 6-8 months from now, register for it, and there is your goal. you have a race to be ready at. like a warrior dash or spartan race. something difficult, but also within reach. you can stop worrying about fitting into a dress, and focus on being able to run 4 miles and climb a rope.

    remember, appearance is a result of fitness. as you train for this race, you will look (and feel) better.
  • Hou_LH
    Hou_LH Posts: 27 Member
    I'll add one of my favorite quotes. "Remember that girl who quit? Neither does anyone else."

    Love that quote. But yes, you need to re-commit. You are only hurting yourself. Just wake yourself back up and start on a new foot before you fall so far back you can't get yourself up. Come on now, you have a strong support group around you, make use of it.
  • bjmk19047
    bjmk19047 Posts: 123
    What always gets me is the kids' snack drawer. So I put the fruit bowl right above it on the counter. When I am tempted to eat one of thier snacks, I grab a peice of fruit instead.

    This happens to all of us. I joined here when I was 40 and this is my third re-set. My problem is I hate to exercise but I love to eat -- and I love foods that aren't healthy for you. I can't eat a salad without thinking it tastes like the ground, and I know it's what I should be eating. And of course when you start dieting, you notice the hundreds of food commercials on TV. I gotta tell you, that "baconator" from Wendy's looks pretty darned good! I figure all I can do is the best I can do...and if I slip up once in a while, well I have to forgive myself for not being perfect. I am my own worst enemy...and I am hardest on myself.

    Just remember that tomorrow is a new day! :smile:

    P.S. -- I find it ironic how many food ads are displayed on MFP!
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    You should start having little victories in other areas of your life simultaneously so that you know you are always winning. Having small goals in all areas of your life will offset the disappointment you feel when when you're not hitting fitness goals yet. It will also slowly condition you to accept the fact the its ok to succeed regularly. And that meeting your goals is not rewarded with harder or more painful work, but stronger character and a slightly better life each time. Not higher expectations you wont be able to meet. Not a new way to disappoint yourself. Not you feeling like a fraud when people look up to you and admits your accomplishments.

    A healthy respect and love for yourself are a prerequisite to happiness, not egotism. You truly are allowed to be incredibly awesome.
  • Catie_v2
    Catie_v2 Posts: 67
    You guys rock! Thank you to each and everyone of you for taking the time to read my post and respond to it...your words of encouragement have already started to shift my mindset back to where it needs to be.

    I like the Seinfeld theory (or whatever it was called, sorry!) - and will start working on that.

    A few of you mentioned goals...and I am sorely lacking in mini-goals and get overwhelmed by the longterm goal (100+ pounds!!). Maybe I do need to sign up for some kind of activity (3K??) to have a purpose for my actions - and I only stop myself from taking that step....

    What other mini-goals have you guys used along the way to keep you motivated?
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    Reaching the next weight I can lift.
    Being able to do a certain number of pushups.
    Walking a certain number of miles a week.
    Having all my bills for the month paid by the fifth.
    picking a different room or area of the house to reorganize each month.
    Getting good feedback from my boss on an area I don't feel strong about.
    Hitting a certain number if workouts before the end of the month.
    Being brave enough to try an exercise I've never done.
    Doing an activity with new friends.
    Having a grocery haul so perfect and healthy im not ashamed to post a picture of the whole basket.
    Eating two beautiful meals a day.
    Learning 5 new recipes each month.
    Working out with someone else.
    Beating a previous time or being able to go longer.

    Anything can be a minigoal :)
  • juliekat1955
    juliekat1955 Posts: 67 Member
    I'll add one of my favorite quotes. "Remember that girl who quit? Neither does anyone else."

    Love the quote! :smile:
  • Dyetcoke1
    Dyetcoke1 Posts: 54 Member
    Do your exercise before anything, except peeing and quick protein fiber breakfast, like a hard boiled egg and a peach. dont cook, work, shower, drink coffee- nothing till you get a half hour of something in-walk, bike, yoga SOMETHING. Ihave discvered how starting the day successfully breeds good choices throughout. Procrastination makes everythng seem like a struggle. Good luck!
  • Danardeener
    Danardeener Posts: 255
    You always have to set small goals for yourself...then treat yourself with a non-food reward. Keep making goals.
  • Dyetcoke1
    Dyetcoke1 Posts: 54 Member
    Not to butt in but why should your kids have snacks you shouldnt eat? Do you want them to be fat or unhealthy?
  • redhousecat
    redhousecat Posts: 584 Member
    someone sent this to me recently. I don't know how much the workouts would pertain to you, but the intro part before the workout might have some good and motivating information for you.

    http://www.stewsmithptclub.com/45dayplan.pdf

    I have nearly the same problem as you. I want SO BAD to start the INsanity workout, but I am so scared I won't be able to do it, much less finish it. I can't stand to fail.

    So, I feel ya. I also try to look for inspirational testimonies from folks that have similar fitness goals as I do. That helps me psychologically.

    GOOD LUCK!!
  • redhousecat
    redhousecat Posts: 584 Member
    Also, this blog entry might help: http://tracysfoodandthought.blogspot.com/2012/08/dont-throw-baby-out-with-bath-water.html
  • ItzPSGina62
    ItzPSGina62 Posts: 99 Member
    love this idea:smile:
  • cornucopiaoflove
    cornucopiaoflove Posts: 45 Member
    Do you know the Seinfeld trick? "Don't break the chain"? I don't do it exactly like that but I like to feel a little "competitive with myself" and go for a "streak" where I am under my goal every day for x days. Makes me feel accomplished each day.

    Haha, here's my "DO NOT BREAK THE CHAIN" from my workout journal:

    donotbreakthechain.jpg

    OP: I second the suggestion to set small manageable goals--I've always found them psychologically helpful. While tomorrow is a new day, learn to look at your next meal/next workout as a new opportunity to do better. If you've blown the diet by noon, forgive yourself but self correct in the next meal or by the time you close out your journal tonight. If you missed the am workout or just didn't have it in you to get to a gym, go for a 30 min walk and do some pushups/situps at home. When you're trying to establish new exercise and diet habits, don't get too frustrated with yourself for not getting it all correct and perfect in one go. Even when you're struggling, the little things you manage to get down do eventually add up. Don't let a day pass without doing something (however small) that gets you closer to your goal.

    This is awesome advice. I've struggled with my weight...basically as long as I can remember. I yo-yo, and I just recently gained back 20 lbs I had lost (blergh, now I have 100 lbs to lose to get to a healthy weight). Instead of getting too discouraged I'll plan to do this tomorrow!
  • jen10st
    jen10st Posts: 325 Member
    i do exactly the same, i think i restrict myself too much so i rebel against the plan. i love the idea of setting small daily goals. infact my goal today is to not eat any sweets or chocolate. healthy snacks are at the ready :smile:
  • lkcuts
    lkcuts Posts: 224
    about snacks.make it healthy. snacks like chocolate yogurt dipped frozen bananas dipped in nuts are great and frozen yogurt popcicles. Kids like anything and useally burn more cals than we do. I am a baker at heart and love homemade cookies/cakes pies etc. the other day I was longing and thinking,smelling and even tasting how good it would be, about a sweet desert and was going to fix it..
    I realized , I had no flour in the house.. so I could not make it. I find if I don't buy it, at a moment of weakness I have no choice but to not eat it. Now I will say if I get a certain craving, I will, march down to the store and get what I am wanting and get it over with. I am not useally an icecream eater but every once in awhile I get a craving for a big banana split or chocolate covered hot brownie and icecream. In the summer we have a diary bar down the street opened and I will go there and get something get my craving satisfied and move on.
    I also have learned to eat what I want by getting on and logging it before I eat it to see the calories if they are outragous, I cut it down to size and eat only that amount of what ever it is. I do believe this is a lifetime journey and being realistic about it, I will always like certain things and life is too short to be deprived of what we want all the time. So a little "tweek" here and there and being more active makes the journey easier.. Good Luck!
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