Anorexia

ls_66
ls_66 Posts: 395 Member
in Motivation and Support
I just made it back from a 3 weeks vacation back home, my brother was there and he has changed his life style completely he is now a fruitarian (only eats raw fruit and some nuts) he is 38 and he is 6 feet tall and weighs 130 pounds, he runs and bikes 5 days a week on average for 1 hour he also does yoga and tells me he feels great, I had not seen him in more than 1 year and to me he looks wayyy to skinny, my family is really worried about his weight and my wife kept telling me he is anorexic..... his new lifestyle has basically alienating from his wife.. and we think they are on the brink of a divorce... I tried to talk to him about seeing a dr to make sure all the changes he has made are not harming him in any way but he refuses to see the evil doctors... to him they are all tied to the pharmaceutical industry and they are not to be trusted... Any way seeking for some support, is he really anorexic?

Replies

  • WillardsMommy1
    WillardsMommy1 Posts: 54
    According to the BMI Calculator he is underweight...but not all underweight people are anorexic. I know a guy that was like this and he was very slim and had weird eating habits like fruitarian (WTF right??) but he DID see a dr and the dr said that compared to how he used to be, full on diabetes, overweight, high blood pressure etc, he was in great health and diabetes virtually gone. I guess its hard to say as an outsider if he is or isn't anorexic. A lot of people on MFP are quick to condemn so I am sure 90% of replies will say he is anorexic. I think you are more equipped than anyone here to answer that question because you know him the best. :)
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
    I just made it back from a 3 weeks vacation back home, my brother was there and he has changed his life style completely he is now a fruitarian (only eats raw fruit and some nuts) he is 38 and he is 6 feet tall and weighs 130 pounds, he runs and bikes 5 days a week on average for 1 hour he also does yoga and tells me he feels great, I had not seen him in more than 1 year and to me he looks wayyy to skinny, my family is really worried about his weight and my wife kept telling me he is anorexic..... his new lifestyle has basically alienating from his wife.. and we think they are on the brink of a divorce... I tried to talk to him about seeing a dr to make sure all the changes he has made are not harming him in any way but he refuses to see the evil doctors... to him they are all tied to the pharmaceutical industry and they are not to be trusted... Any way seeking for some support, is he really anorexic?

    Yikes! Sounds like he's got some issues! I wish I had some helpful advice. But with him not willing to see a Doctor that's a tough one. Does he have any kids? (adult kids could try some type of intervention with him). It sounds like his marriage is on the rocks so he's not going to listen to his wife. I would think he would crash and burn at some point living on fruits and nuts and keeping up with his exercise routine. Hopefully not bad!!!!...but enough to send him to a hospital and give him a wake up call!
  • estitom
    estitom Posts: 205 Member
    From what you're describing I would say yes. It's always difficult when the person is an adult - there's not much you can do really. Personally, what helped me was that people didn't give up. They kept telling me that I was underweight, ate too little, rarely smiled, had stopped doing things that I used to enjoy etc. I was offended and angry and I lost friends because I walked away from them because "they didn't understand". But when everyone points out the obvious, you start question yourself. Eventually you can't lie to yourself anymore. So that's what you should do, I think. Treat him like you would like to be treated, collect information on eating disorders, and try to tell him - in a gentle way - that he has a problem. If he gets angry, don't take it personally. Try to focus on how it affects his life and relationships instead of just telling him that he's eating too little. When a diet starts affecting your relationships that's a HUGE warning sign.
  • jen10st
    jen10st Posts: 325 Member
    I think you should try explaining to him that while you are happy he's healthy but concerned that he's underweight which can have long term health implications. Anorexia is a mental illness with physical manifestations not just something you decide to do and to me he doesn't seem to be suffering with it but as I don't know him you'd be the better judge. Try asking him to go to the doctor with you, not for pills and potions, but so you can have some reassurance that he is healthy so you can stop worrying about him.
  • ls_66
    ls_66 Posts: 395 Member
    Yes he does have a small child... 2.5 yo toddler.... this whole drastic change started when the child was born premature, it's a miracle he actually made it, in an incubator for 3 months... after that my nephew started having bowel movement issues that prompted him to do alot of research on food allergies and he then became first vegan and then fruitarian.... hos wife does not share his point of view and feeding their son is becoming a huge issue.
    Unfortunately we live so far away that is nearly impossible for me to actively help him.... we did have a few conversations while I was there and he is in total denial, in his eyes he is a healthy active person
  • Kelseyyyy22
    Kelseyyyy22 Posts: 46 Member
    He does definitely need to see a doctor, because any eating that is that restrictive--even if it starts with good intentions--can very easily become disordered. To me it sounds like orthorexia (obsessive "healthy" eating) and that is still very bad. If he's afraid of traditional doctors, maybe recommend a naturopath? Or something like Chinese medicine. They will still be able to tell if he has a problem (which it honestly sounds like he does) and help him, but he might be far more receptive. Good luck!
  • gldnlark
    gldnlark Posts: 53
    I hope he getting vegetables, or equally nutritious food? It would be hard to give him a "computer-diagnosis," but could it be possible a bad marriage could be driving him to stay out exercising all the time? I realize he's had a health-scare and some of it could be anxiety-related, but maybe he could be convinced to try talk-therapy or attend marriage counseling? (I don't care for "chemical" therapies either, unless someone is schizophrenic...)
  • ls_66
    ls_66 Posts: 395 Member
    My sister bless her heart is trying to help both of them... I finally convinced her to go to see a counselor that might help her help both my brother and his wife.....
    Kelseyyyy I had never heard of orthorexia.... but when I looked it up it definitely fits some of the issues.
    Question is how do you convince an adult to seek help??? He is so set on his beliefs ....
  • blondie0942
    blondie0942 Posts: 146 Member
    My sister bless her heart is trying to help both of them... I finally convinced her to go to see a counselor that might help her help both my brother and his wife.....
    Kelseyyyy I had never heard of orthorexia.... but when I looked it up it definitely fits some of the issues.
    Question is how do you convince an adult to seek help??? He is so set on his beliefs ....



    If he does truly have an ED, then you may be able to convince him to seek help, but you'll never be able to convince him to recover. There is a difference. The only person who will be able to convince him to recover 100% is himself. However, you can definitely push him in the right direction... just keep doing what you're doing. Remember, he's been stuck in his ways for over 2 years, so he's not going to want to break his habits just like *that*. Just continue to be the caring and supportive brother that you are.
  • cornucopiaoflove
    cornucopiaoflove Posts: 45 Member
    I have to agree, unfortunately there isn't much you can do, except ensuring that if you do approach him about it you do it in a non-judgmental way!
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    Any way seeking for some support, is he really anorexic?
    How on earth would we know if he's anorexic?
  • SuperstarDJ
    SuperstarDJ Posts: 443 Member
    But what If i'm anorexic and like it?
    I've had it for over 20 years. Trust me, you will stop "liking it" very quickly, that is unless you enjoy having cr*p skin, hair, nails; destroying your metabolism; being hairy; becoming incontinent because your body has eaten away your bladder muscles; not being able to apply for a mortgage - or any big loan - because of your medical history; having a constantly bloated stomach from a messed up digestive system.... I could go on and on.

    To the OP: the best thing your brother's wife can do is keep attending her therapy sessions for support as you cannot make your brother do anything until he accepts he's a problem himself.

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