i feel like dieting is taking over my life.

i feel like this whole thing is taking over my life. i literally spend ALL DAY every day planning out what and when i can eat. and then when i do start eating there are days where i cant stop, and i will eat and eat and eat and then just feel absolutely discusting and fat. ive lost over 90 pounds with less than 10 to go and i feel like i am completely obsessed with loosing weight and that im not able to just be a normal person, since all i ever think about is eating and what i look like. i have managed not to gain weight back but thats because i will go 3 or so days eating "good" and then spend an entire day eating complete junk, even if im not hungry i spend every waking minute eating whatever i can get my hands on. its completely rediculous. i lose a couple pounds and then gain it right back.. some times i dont want to leave home because i dont know when i will be back to be able to eat more.. and then after i eat i just want to go for a long walk to attempt to burn it off... AHHH! i feel like im going crazy from it! why does an object have so much control over people???

does anyone else feel like i do?? i would love to have someone to talk to who actually understands.

Replies

  • monicalosesweight
    monicalosesweight Posts: 1,173 Member
    I'm trying to cycle through certain dishes so that I don't make myself crazy. You can create a meal when you input your food items. Just click the button next to the one which you normally hit to look for stuff for your diary. You'll be able to create a meal. I'm planning on printing them out so that I have some cheat cheats to look at for breakfasts or dinner to make it easier. It's easier to copy a meal if I leave certain items in it then dealing with all the adding in of food.
  • Anyaaaa11
    Anyaaaa11 Posts: 242 Member
    Okay, I've been the same way. It has to do with personality, behavior, and mentality. Let's face it, we have obsessive behavior..& more than likely your a perfectionist as well (not that that is a bad thing!!). Anyway I get like this from time to time. I've actually only lost around 10lbs because of my ups and downs with binging..like you, I Eat good for a while then eat complete crap.

    I've also associated my happiness with my weight as you've mentioned. It's not a good feeling, terrible actually. What has helped me is to stop focusing so much on losing weight, and obsessing about what people think about me and just say screw it. SO what if you have a day of eating PURE junk! Everyone, (& I mean EVERYONE) has those days. I think what you need is a "diet break". The key here is exercise as much as possible and enjoy the foods you want.

    Come back with a clear mind and goals that are not associated with weight(: the scale is a liar. Try building muscle.
  • myfitnessval
    myfitnessval Posts: 687 Member
    YUP. i'm kind of an all in or nothing person so this has been priority number 1 lately and i'm kind of scared that i'm going to lose momentum when school starts. so i definitely feel you.
  • Stephanie_Autry
    Stephanie_Autry Posts: 228 Member
    I'm obsessive as well- it's an all or nothing attitude. The positive thing is you look great! :flowerforyou:
  • thank you guys, i think that is part of the problem is i feel like i completely failed when my day isnt "perfect" calorie wise and so i get that mentality that since i went over 200 calories the day is shot anyways so i might as well eat everything i want and start again tomorrow.. ugh!!
  • horsehockey
    horsehockey Posts: 24 Member
    I just started with this site (19 days ago), but being obsessive about it seems to come with the territory, at least until what you do is 100% habit? I haven't changed *what* I eat really, but do feel constantly tied to this site recording frequency and portions, both of which are my biggest enemies.

    But given the weight you've lost already (per your sig), I'm probably not telling you anything new :) I don't really plan ahead for meals unless I know there's a situation where I'll be eating something unusual (going out to dinner, to a party, etc), but the tracking is always in the back of my mind.
  • Yes, dieting most certainly has taken over my life. I've lost 70 lbs but now that I've been plateauing for like 6 months, I've tried every trick in the book to break through it and nothing is working. Some days I feel like I shouldn't eat anything because the less the better. And other days I'm like eff it, nothing is working so I'll eat to my hearts content. Almost everything I do has to do with food. My husband actually said that dieting has taken over my life. And he doesn't have any idea of how much time I spend on here planning out my meals. I don't think I'm ever going to NOT be on a "diet" again. I'll pretty much be counting calories for the rest of my life at this point....:ohwell:
  • thank you guys, i think that is part of the problem is i feel like i completely failed when my day isnt "perfect" calorie wise and so i get that mentality that since i went over 200 calories the day is shot anyways so i might as well eat everything i want and start again tomorrow.. ugh!!

    OMG THATS EXACTLY HOW I AM!!! And no one understands it!!! It'll be the end of the day and I'll eat something extra that I didn't plan on eating, and thats when it hits. I'm like "well I might as well enjoy my calorie overage and eat whatever I want now..." Then here I am feeling sick 5,000 calories later............
  • cheddle
    cheddle Posts: 102 Member
    Problem??

    before the advent of cultivation im sure people spent most of their waking day collecting and hunting food
    after the advent of cultivation im sure people spent most of their waking day herding and farming food
    after the advent of money most people spent most of their waking day earning money to buy food.

    today thanks to technology we have more spare time on our hands...

    diet is actually a very large component of our existence and spending time thinking about this is actually one of the most relevant and "healthy" things to obses over...

    Try and use modern technology like the internet, ease of accessing food and computers to plan our your shopping and food and diet to save more time to do other things.

    Or better yet spend the cash you earn at work, to pay someone else to do your diet plan????
  • thank you guys, i think that is part of the problem is i feel like i completely failed when my day isnt "perfect" calorie wise and so i get that mentality that since i went over 200 calories the day is shot anyways so i might as well eat everything i want and start again tomorrow.. ugh!!

    OMG THATS EXACTLY HOW I AM!!! And no one understands it!!! It'll be the end of the day and I'll eat something extra that I didn't plan on eating, and thats when it hits. I'm like "well I might as well enjoy my calorie overage and eat whatever I want now..." Then here I am feeling sick 5,000 calories later............

    Yep. Thats me to a T right there. Im really glad to hear im not the only one
  • netchik
    netchik Posts: 587 Member
    After a few months is becomes second nature, so it won't feel like the only thing you do then. Persistence is the key :)

    Good luck
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
    Please be very careful and honest with yourself. I know a few people who found success with weight loss and became very disordered in their eating/habits afterward. A couple of women I know lost a bunch of weight and became bulimic and I, personally, lost about 60 lbs many years ago and became a compulsive over-exerciser. If I ate anything unhealthy (e.g. a muffin) I'd be sure to go and burn 600 calories to make sure I'd made up for my indiscretions each day.

    It was all-consuming.

    I never really found my way out of it except that I got pregnant... hence why I'm back to losing weight.

    That was over 6 years ago and I'm trying to be very careful to not let that happen again... to recognize that I didn't lose the weight overnight and I'm not going to gain it back overnight either... to see there is no "arrival" or end date - there's just continuing being as diligent in maintenance as in weight loss mode. Recognizing that life happens and so a dessert, BBQ or a few drinks isn't a make-or-break thing and you have to find a way to accommodate them... or else this was just a diet and you'll go back to old ways.

    ... just stay aware...
  • Crystal_Pistol
    Crystal_Pistol Posts: 750 Member
    For me, finding the humor in everything really helps. I am able to laugh at myself, and I post the things that I am thinking all the time. I really use the pal/social function of the site so it doesn't seem as "task-oriented."
  • econut2000
    econut2000 Posts: 395 Member
    I've always had that all or nothing attitude (not just toward dieting but everything in my life). If I'd go over my calories by 200 I'd do the same and eat whatever I could get my hands on because why bother, my day was shot already. But that's not true at all and I finally got to a place in my life where I realize I can't be perfect 100% of the time because that's how I'm supposed to be, dammit! Unfortunately, it has swung me a bit in the other direction - where 200 cals over becomes more the rule than the exception. I'm not sure how I'm quite going to fix this yet myself so I'm throwing out suggestions here that I've heard work from other people :laugh:

    How about a cheat day? Or if you've been doing this an extended period of time, how about eating at maintenance for a week every month or 2? I'm planning to try the second - I think a cheat day for me would be a disaster - I have no doubt that I can easily consume an entire day's worth of calories in a single meal!!! Whatever you do, learn to forgive yourself and just move on. Two hundred extra calories when you've lost over 90lbs is NOTHING at all!!!!! Good luck to you :drinker:
  • myfitnessval
    myfitnessval Posts: 687 Member
    thank you guys, i think that is part of the problem is i feel like i completely failed when my day isnt "perfect" calorie wise and so i get that mentality that since i went over 200 calories the day is shot anyways so i might as well eat everything i want and start again tomorrow.. ugh!!

    let me tell you right now, that i've had many imperfect days and i've still lost weight. lol in fact it seems i lost the most on the weeks i had in n out haha. so it will all even out even if you had those bad days. keep in mind that you can change your day meal by meal, so if one isnt so great, make the next one great and dont stress it or let yourself become discouraged. i've also found that pre logging a day in advance and planning out my meals the night before reduces the amount of time i spend here. i try to only hang out on mfp in the evening around workout time and after dinner, makes me feel less obsessed lol.
  • This is EXACTLY how I have been feeling too! I'm also an "all or nothing" person ... and I have no idea how I am going to be able to maintain what I'm doing for the rest of my life. How do you find the balance so you're eating / exercising in a way that is maintainable? I feel like I'm still thinking of my life in terms of "before I hit goal and after I hit goal", not "living day by day healthily".

    :ohwell:
  • This is EXACTLY how I have been feeling too! I'm also an "all or nothing" person ... and I have no idea how I am going to be able to maintain what I'm doing for the rest of my life. How do you find the balance so you're eating / exercising in a way that is maintainable? I feel like I'm still thinking of my life in terms of "before I hit goal and after I hit goal", not "living day by day healthily".

    :ohwell:

    I have been doing this for 8.5months now and I am still at that before/after my goal thought process. I wish I knew how to change it!! :-(
  • Ahluvly
    Ahluvly Posts: 389 Member
    Hello,

    A good thing for you to do would be to make a list of all the foods you associate with pleasure, and then another list for those which you relate to pain. The confusion starts when we link two emotions to one food. E.g. I love cheesecake, it's my favourite dessert. After you eat it, the guilt sets in when you've ate 400 cals more that day and you fear you won't get a loss that week.

    My advice to you is, really be honest with yourself. Say if you love crisps or chocolate cake but you can't stop at a handful or a slice then you need to ask yourself, "Do I really want this food that is going to ultimately stop me from losing weight and keep me fat/overweight?"

    As for meal planning....I'd go with the following to take the pressure off yourself:
    1/4 complex carbs
    1/4 lean protein
    1/2 vegetables

    Weight management is 80% diet and only 20% exercise. It's taken you years to develop your habits and behaviours, it will take time to improve them so give yourself a break.

    I hope that's helped!

    Sarah :)
  • i feel like this whole thing is taking over my life. i literally spend ALL DAY every day planning out what and when i can eat. and then when i do start eating there are days where i cant stop, and i will eat and eat and eat and then just feel absolutely discusting and fat. ive lost over 90 pounds with less than 10 to go and i feel like i am completely obsessed with loosing weight and that im not able to just be a normal person, since all i ever think about is eating and what i look like. i have managed not to gain weight back but thats because i will go 3 or so days eating "good" and then spend an entire day eating complete junk, even if im not hungry i spend every waking minute eating whatever i can get my hands on. its completely rediculous. i lose a couple pounds and then gain it right back.. some times i dont want to leave home because i dont know when i will be back to be able to eat more.. and then after i eat i just want to go for a long walk to attempt to burn it off... AHHH! i feel like im going crazy from it! why does an object have so much control over people???

    does anyone else feel like i do?? i would love to have someone to talk to who actually understands.


    I feel like this all the time. It sucks,
  • Nan_
    Nan_ Posts: 83 Member
    Once I ate something I shouldn't have or went over my calories I would tell myself that I'd "ruined" the day so that gave me permission to eat whatever I wanted. I said that I would start fresh "tomorrow." But tomorrow never seemed to come because every day I was "ruining" my diet.

    I finally got to the point where I stopped making excuses and accepted that yes, I'd gone over my calories, but that I could start right that moment to make everything better by making better choices the rest of the day.

    So, if I had a couple of cookies as a snack, I no longer abandoned the diet and ate whatever I wanted. Instead, I accepted that I ate the cookies and made sure I logged them in, and then stayed within my calorie limit for the rest of the day. When I got to the end of my calories that was it, I was done eating, even if I hadn't had the chance to have the extra cup of unbuttered popcorn that I was hoping for.

    Today I had 1/2 cup of ice cream. In the past I would have given up on my diet and eaten more ice cream and probably even some m&m's. Today I just logged it and moved on.
  • beekuzz
    beekuzz Posts: 428 Member
    Yep, obsessive, perfectionist, Virgo, or whatever you call it, I'm all in on that. Although I don't binge at all, I'm on the site logging food, water, exercise all day long. The deal for me is that my health and body were getting out of control, and I'd rather do this than be upset because I can't reach around or down far enough to wipe properly. Or how about having sores under a belly flap and underthe boobs? I'm done with that and I'm not going back there again. So much bad stuff happens to our bodies that never get discussed.

    Can I do this for the rest of my life? Absolutely, because I now know where I'm coming from and there is nothing good in that place for me. We can do this.
  • thedancingleper
    thedancingleper Posts: 158 Member
    thank you guys, i think that is part of the problem is i feel like i completely failed when my day isnt "perfect" calorie wise and so i get that mentality that since i went over 200 calories the day is shot anyways so i might as well eat everything i want and start again tomorrow.. ugh!!

    OMG THATS EXACTLY HOW I AM!!! And no one understands it!!! It'll be the end of the day and I'll eat something extra that I didn't plan on eating, and thats when it hits. I'm like "well I might as well enjoy my calorie overage and eat whatever I want now..." Then here I am feeling sick 5,000 calories later............

    Yep... that is exactly how I fall off the wagon as well.
  • Marmitegeoff
    Marmitegeoff Posts: 373 Member
    Once I ate something I shouldn't have or went over my calories I would tell myself that I'd "ruined" the day so that gave me permission to eat whatever I wanted. I said that I would start fresh "tomorrow." But tomorrow never seemed to come because every day I was "ruining" my diet.

    I finally got to the point where I stopped making excuses and accepted that yes, I'd gone over my calories, but that I could start right that moment to make everything better by making better choices the rest of the day.

    So, if I had a couple of cookies as a snack, I no longer abandoned the diet and ate whatever I wanted. Instead, I accepted that I ate the cookies and made sure I logged them in, and then stayed within my calorie limit for the rest of the day. When I got to the end of my calories that was it, I was done eating, even if I hadn't had the chance to have the extra cup of unbuttered popcorn that I was hoping for.

    Today I had 1/2 cup of ice cream. In the past I would have given up on my diet and eaten more ice cream and probably even some m&m's. Today I just logged it and moved on.

    this what I try to do but last thing in the evening is my downfall peanut butter on crackers. naughty boy.
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    I sometimes feel like letting go -- I think this happens to a lot of people if not all. Something goes over the top and, waam, I want to eat that bar (or two) of chocolate. My daughter also goes through this. The issue is that it becomes negative eating. Binge -> bad thoughts -> guilt -> feel bad about self -> give up for several days and then all the win is lost. What has helped for me tremendously is to think of it as a voyage, I'm in the process, the day does not really matter, how is my week? 200 cals too many today? No worry, I'm still good for the week. Feeling good about myself helps me prevent the 200 becoming 2000.
    With my daughter we try to go for rewards rather than punishments - we have a bike ride we like, up and down to the river and across some beautiful land; this ride ends in an ice cream shop with a banana spilt (which is totally more calories than we use on this ride) but it's still a treat on a good week.
  • AvonLucyR
    AvonLucyR Posts: 124 Member
    I lost 5 lbs, then started MFP, now have lost 20 more lbs. My problem started when I adjusted my calorie count to 1200... I don't feel full when I only have 1200 and I am handicapped, so I am limited in my working out. I do really understand the frustration of having days go up and down. I have stopped weighing myself so often and am trying to get back on track. The days I have something awful (lately I've craved milkshakes) I've avoided logging which ends up with a lot more calories.

    Having said that, I know that this behavior is not very healthy. As a teen I was anorexic, and dieting is a four letter word for me. I can relate mine also to my emotions and realize, this is the part that needs more work. I'm trying to get in the mindset where instead of going all out and eating lots of junk when I "mess up", I rethink and come up with an alternative. For example...this milkshake craving could probably be satisfied with ice and fruit blended...and if I'm really craving sweets a little sweetner.

    I would recommend you try to think of things (besides food) that give you happiness. Sometimes that is difficult, but it can be done. I've stopped cigarettes, cut down on calories, lost the ability to do heavy exercise (or walking), and yet, I've lost 25 lbs. You've obviously done some great things because you have lost 90!! That's incredible!!!! Now, try to replace the constant thought of eating with some other things that will give you satisfaction. Even if you have a really boring diet that you repeat week after week in order to stay within your range and not spend so much time worrying about what to have, if you have other things to look forward to, it may make the whole diet thing fade a bit...Good luck to you!! Congrats on all of your success so far, and hope you find it gets easier - I think there are an awful lot of us working on this same thing!!! :flowerforyou:
  • mds81
    mds81 Posts: 9 Member
    Yeah the "ruined-the-day-so-let's-just-go-for-it!" trap is a doozey..

    Last year I started my first diet/exercise program properly. It was a 12 week course and I was cruising along for five weeks doing really well - 12cm/4.7inches off my waistline and 10kg/22lb lighter when all of a sudden it happened!..

    I was at a mates birthday and I said yes to a glass of wine - my first in 5 weeks. I felt so guilty I just decided I didn't deserve to lose any more fat so I binged and gave up the diet completely.

    Well a couple of months down the track I was right back to my original starting weight and measurements! Gutted. (literally lol :wink: )

    For me the trick is to understand that while the spirit is willing, the flesh is weak!
    To err is human and all that jazz, right? Realise that you DO deserve the results, and going over the calorie count here and there is fine. When you fall off the wagon just log it, pick yourself up and dust yourself off. No biggie, carry on!
  • AvonLucyR
    AvonLucyR Posts: 124 Member
    By the way, I looked back and you've lost OVER 90 and I also checked your pictures...you have made a tremendous transformation!! I hope you can find an answer that helps with the frustration of slipping back and forth!! You have done so very well and you look great!! Be Proud!! Yes, you are skinny again!! :happy: