Friends and family telling me to stop losing weight

LadyBoo89
LadyBoo89 Posts: 12
in Motivation and Support
I'm struggling with friends and family who say that I am skinny and don't need to diet or lose weight, cooking me big meals, encouraging me to snack, etc. My boyfriend also says I don't need to lose weight (although he then complements me on how I look when I do lose weight) but is more supportive.

I come from a larger family but have never been quite as big, however I have recently gone from an 'overweight' 10 stone 4 to a 'healthy' 8 stone 12 (pic) and am ultimately aiming to reach 8 stone.

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I don't know whether it's because they see more of my slimmer upper body whereas my rather large hips, butt and thighs are usually kept under wraps, but I find it so demotivating when rather than supporting me the people around me are trying to derail my diet.

I was doing well, gradually losing almost a stone and a half over about 8 months but am finding it hard to get motivated!

Replies

  • LadyBoo89
    LadyBoo89 Posts: 12
    *bump*
  • mirandamayhem
    mirandamayhem Posts: 772
    I think you look absolutely stunning, but I'm not in your body, and I'm not looking in the mirror and seeing what you see.

    As long as you feel healthy, and are eating well and getting exercise, and not obsessing, then thove oere's no worry.
    Anorexia is such as a scary thing and worrying for family members watching someone lose weight, it's like a panic button that everyone has heard about, and they could well be worrying that you're heading in that direction.
    I'm NOT saying you are, but just saying family might be unnecessarily worrying about it.

    I'd love for you to look at a range of healthy bodies, and see how healthy and gorgeous you look. Do you think you might be seeing your body in a distorted way? I don't see large hips and thighs, I see a gorgeous woman with a healthy normal shape. But like I say, I'm not seeing what you see.
    Don't be cross with your family. And try to look at yourself with kinder eyes. I wish you all the best in getting to your goal, but mostly I wish you complete happiness however it comes to you!
  • agriffiths73
    agriffiths73 Posts: 108 Member
    Personally, I think you look fine. Weight loss is often subjective and others can't see what we do. You have come a long way and clearly struggle with a family who don't see weight as much of an issue and don't empathise, or are in a degree of denial themselves and don't want to admit that they should try to lose some too.

    Your goals are OK, maybe 8st 6lb would be a reasonable place to stop and re-evaluate to see how you feel and how you look? Don't let it take over, just try to enjoy the exercise and take a little focus off the 8st for a short while.

    Keep the meals the same as you want them, don't let them put pressure on you to eat more if you don't want to.

    I think you're doing really, really well, you look great, you must feel great too.
  • debi_f
    debi_f Posts: 330 Member
    I know exactly how you feel. I've dropped 55+ pounds, and while everyone seems to be "Yay, you!" when I lose weight, they also tell me to stop.

    In a way, I understand. I've set and reached several goals (first 150, then 140, then 135...), then I reset a new, lower goal. (The current goal is 130.)

    My advice would be to lose the couple of extra pounds you feel you need to lose, but take it slow and re-evaluate as you go. I'm not sure you really need to lose another 12 pounds, based on the photo above (you look good!). If you like where you are after losing just 4 or 5 more pounds, then stop there.

    Sorry if this advice sounds a bit "lame." Really, as long as you're healthy, you're getting the nutrition you need, you're exercising enough, then do what makes you feel best.
  • leanne9876
    leanne9876 Posts: 301 Member
    I can understand they are concerned for you, and I can see your point of view. I'd maybe say to them that you are glad they are looking out for you, just tell them that you won't lose too much weight and that you are trying to keep a healthy eating program so you can tone up more. just a suggestion. You look great anyway but you need to be happy.
  • laxwyo
    laxwyo Posts: 192 Member
    Losing weight and seeing that lower number on the scale can be addicting. After I reached my first goal, I added 5 more pounds to it. Then I thought, if I get close, I should try for more. I'm not that skinny but I've reached a healthy BMI and look a lot better. I think you look great, not sure you can lose all that much more. I'd say just tone up and even put on a few muscle pounds. It's better to be healthy than skinny and as long as you feel good and are eating, go for what you like.
  • turquoise3
    turquoise3 Posts: 79 Member
    You're gorgeous, you have no need to loose any more weight in my opinion. You're perfect just the way you are! <3
  • navigatethis
    navigatethis Posts: 1 Member
    I think you've lost enough, if I had your body I wouldn't be on this website!
  • ninazezelj
    ninazezelj Posts: 1
    I look just like you. The same body tipe, the same legs,hips,arms,thighs,stomach(but you're thinner) and i understand your not satisfied whit your body.
    I dont like my body ether. clothes(underwear) keep pressing my hips and create deposits.. i have a tough time finding clothes that fits me,and i want to lose fat of my hips,thighs,stomach.. but my mom tells me that i am to skinny and that i hallucinate it. She is right i am skinny but i don't like the shape of my body,that's my problem, maybe it's yours too,you know that you're not fat everybody keeps saying that also but u don't like the shape of it-mostly the hips..
    i don't know if exercise will help with this,that we'll get an hourglass figure because mine is currently something far from that .
    I'm telling you this because i know why'd you put the picture and asked for advice,cause i have the same problem and a also think i look fat..:/
    Well at least im not alone :):P
  • TheatreLover23
    TheatreLover23 Posts: 73
    Well to be honest, you don't need to lose anymore weight. You look fantastic! I wish I had a body like yours.

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