Overweight for over a decade: need help.

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Hi, everyone. I've been lurking around these boards for I don't know how long. I turned 35 in June and I weigh 183lbs at 5'3". I feel like I'm the queen of quitting--goodness knows I've tried many times to lose weight. I'll lose 10-15 lbs and then go back to my old habits. Not sure when I became such a fan of sabotaging my good efforts, but there you go. The thing is, I know how to lose weight. I know how to be healthy. I know how to exercise and eat right. But I always quit!

I was a very fit child and teen, but I thought I was fat--that whole insecure, lack of self-confidence thing really got me down. My physical fitness peaked at age 20 and I had finally realized that I wasn't fat. I felt great! However, by the time I was 21, I started to see my weight increase--it just snowballed somehow. I'd graduated college and taken a desk job. Fast forward to age 26: 185lbs and miserable. I lost 15-20 lbs and managed to hover between 165-175 for a few years. Had my wonderful baby boy and lost the added baby weight quickly, but still overweight, and still find myself in the 180s at age 35.

I want to change, but for some reason, I don't. I'm looking for support. I just want to feel good in my skin and take off enough weight to be healthy. I don't even like to be photographed so there are hardly any pictures of me these days--I want that to change, too. I want cheekbones. I want to wear a skirt without worrying about my calves jiggling. I want a stomach that I don't have to try to disguise with ruched tops.

Thanks so much for taking the time to read this.

Replies

  • Christi6604
    Christi6604 Posts: 245 Member
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    Hello.

    I'm 5'3 too and was 210 lbs when I started. It took me FOREVER to get motivated, but I finally did. I was 35 when I started.

    It helped me to figure out why I kept sabotaging myself..I ready "Women Food and God" by Geneen Roth. (I'm an atheist, so don't read too much into that). I thought it was a crappy book overall, but it did get me thinking about why I was heavy. If your workplace offers therapy, that might help a bit. Or, even just a journal and a pen.

    After that, I'd reccomend just starting small. Log everything, try to make some healthy subsitutes like wheat bread for white, etc. Start with a doable "exercise" like walking or something you love doing.

    I think, for me, it was hard to think of "dieting" - that meant, "you never get ice cream again" to me. Now, I just think of it as making choices. Most days, I don't really want the ice cream. It gets easier.

    You can do it. Good luck.
  • ouimouton
    ouimouton Posts: 34 Member
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    Thanks so much for your tips, Christi! I think a journal is a good idea. And I actually logged my food today, so that's a step in the right direction. I read Women, Food, and God, too. I read just about anything...if reading material regarding weight loss worked through osmosis, I'd always be fit. ;)
  • Christi6604
    Christi6604 Posts: 245 Member
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    Thanks so much for your tips, Christi! I think a journal is a good idea. And I actually logged my food today, so that's a step in the right direction. I read Women, Food, and God, too. I read just about anything...if reading material regarding weight loss worked through osmosis, I'd always be fit. ;)

    :laugh: No problem. Just start. A little bit is better than nothin'! I promise. I'm doing it the tortise way - slow, but I'm getting closer everyday and I'm glad I started when I did. At 40, you'll be glad you started now. :flowerforyou:
  • jbrinduse
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    Hi Ouimouton - I have just started today with my program. Even though I don't have as much weight to lose as you want to, I think we have some of the same habits. Start & quit, start & quit. Do you do that in other aspects of your life as well? If so, you might have adult attention deficit disorder. I'm no expert on the subject, but I read about it when someone recommended it to me, and I think I may have a mild case of it. I have been this way most of my life. I start out all excited & pumped up about it & then I lose interest & move on to something else.

    So, you might read about that & get some helpful hints. Another helpful thing to try is intermediate goals. 5 lbs, or 10 lbs. When you achieve that goal, give yourself a break for a day. Don't feel guilty or feel you have fallen off the wagon. You haven't! You've just had a little party for yourself & the next day you're ready to start on the next 5 or 10 lbs. Good luck! I hope you can keep in touch! jbrinduse.
  • stemab3
    stemab3 Posts: 58
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    In the same boat as you......lots of family pictures but none with me in them because I hate the way I look in pictures. Started this journey a few weeks back with 80 lbs to lose. Feel free to add me maybe we can get thru this together once and for all!
  • charladury
    charladury Posts: 1 Member
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    I've made it a goal to be fit by 40. I'm 38 (39 in a month) now and I'm working my way down. At 200 lbs now, I have 50 to lose still. I tried the boot camp thing off groupon and other deal sites in my area, but then when the deal was over, even if I wanted to continue, the classes were cost-prohibitive.(see, I start and stop, too) But I knew I needed to do something when I hit 213, my highest weight ever (even during 3 pregnancies!) I felt awful about myself and had to fix it. So I staretd to walk my dog. It was something I could do and I like doing and I can commit to. Its free and it's not taking anything away from my family but doing something for me. Feel free to add me and we can work on this together. :smile:
  • karensoxfan
    karensoxfan Posts: 902 Member
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    I'm like you in a lot of ways. Fit as a kid, gained weight slowly through college (and for me, law school), then lost 50 lb. in my 20's before gaining more weight after having a baby in '03. For me, then I never lost it all before I had another one ('07), and then in '09 I had a health crisis (semi-emergency splenectomy), my husband lost his job (while I was in the hospital), and my company had a massive layoff including most of my department. My resonse? Stress-eating. And LOTS of it. In 2010, I was my heaviest (204 lb. @ 5'5" tall) and attended a college reunion event with my 20th HS reunion a year away. So I tried to commit (again!) to losing weight for the HS reunion. Lost about 20 lb. in the 2nd half of 2010, and then my dad was diagnosed with cancer, and all my efforts fell apart again. I slowly re-gained from 184 to 190 lb. before he passed away in August 2011, and then gained even more weight between August last year and February this year, when I had a physical & found out my cholesterol was over 200, which was a HUGE motivator to me that this WILL be the time I lose weight, lose it the right way, and figure out a way to make it last.

    My Dr. recommended that to reduce the cholesterol, I have got to find a way to fit exercise into my life, which I hadn't done since before my first baby (so about 10 years now for me, too!). Doing this for a real health reason for the first time in my life feels so much different and better than all the other times though. I'm a FT WOHM, but I now go to the gym EVERY weekday morning (unless my husband is travelling) for at least an hour. I lift weights 3x/week (New Rules of Lifting for Women), and do cardio at varying intensity on the other days. The cardio can get boring, but music usually gets me through it, but I have fallen in love with lifting weights. I feel stronger, tighter, firmer, and yes, smaller. And I get to eat. A lot. Which is important to me because if I can increase my metabolism so I can eat like a "real" person and not feel deprived long-term, then that's worth every minute that it takes me longer than other people to lose this weight.

    I started lifting in April, and in 4 months, I've lost 2" off my waist (from 40" to 38") and dropped from a size 18 jeans to size 14, but in that same amount of time, I've only dropped 7 lb. (from 190 to 183). So if you can find a way to work some weight training into your schedule, I can't recommend it highly enough, and if you'd like to send me a friend invite, please do.

    I think it's all about choices, but if I can learn to love exercise (I'd hated it with a violent passion for a long time!) and get away from stress-eating, then I really am starting to believe that change is possible for anyone who puts in the hard work and doesn't expect instant gratification.

    Best wishes,
  • Vivijeanne
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    Being on this site is a great start .....
    I have been overweight all my life and I have lost a lot of weight several times through the years only to pile it back on as soon as I stop watching what I eat and stop keeping active
    It is easy to quit and harder to stick with any program
    I have found that logging food....... all food that passes my lips..... has helped me see where I am going wrong .....
    I am finally losing the weight again but it does go back on and come off regularly but I have kept on logging when I can and slowly I am making better choices
    I do still eat whatever I want , I try to stay within my calorie allowance and its working !
    I am making this change for life not just a diet hopefully I am learning the right foods and portions I need to be the slim woman that has been hiding inside all these years :)
    The help and motivation from everyone on here helps too
    I hope you find what works for you good luck on your journey :)
  • worm1957
    worm1957 Posts: 7 Member
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    Today is my first day also on this website. I have lost weight but gained it back because of stress fracture in my foot. I stopped exercising and its a long road back trying to lose the 50 pounds again. I found out that when I'm stressed I want to eat fatty foods, I haven't figured out how to overcome this so I'll be working through this now.

    So, I'm in the same boat as you start and stop, yo-yoing, but at least I've finally found out why I'm yo-yoing.
  • ouimouton
    ouimouton Posts: 34 Member
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    You guys are great. Thank you so much for all the support. I wish you all luck in your weight loss endeavors, too! Please feel free to add me so we can support each other! :)