should i stay or go

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DanceForever904
DanceForever904 Posts: 611 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
My gym is putting waaay to much pressure on me! i went away for a week and didnt make the best choices now im getting yelled At and basically being put down. i mean i cant even go to a church breakfast for my nephews bday without getting in trouble by my trainer (he happens to go to the same church and had the nerve to question me in front of my family) i dont know if i should stay as this is the closest gym or go?

Replies

  • dzvinka82
    dzvinka82 Posts: 33
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    thats crazy...i would ditch that place....the gym is supposed to be a place that you can feel comfortable at and feel supported....
  • saford10
    saford10 Posts: 24 Member
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    If you like that gym there is no reason for you too leave, however I would get a new trainer. He has no right to do that to you.
  • OliveCarsey
    OliveCarsey Posts: 78
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    Ask yourself this- If the personal trainer was someone you didn't know outside of church and he did this to you would you want to go back? That is your answer. You are a much nicer person than I am, I would have told him to stick it where the sun don't shine. If you do decide to stay you need to put down some ground rules- he is only allowed to talk to you about your health, nurtition, calories, workout, and food when you are in a session with him at the gym- if you run into him outside of the gym he is to treat you like any other member of the community, and he is NEVER EVER allowed to put you down. Can you switch to a diff trainer at the same gym? For me the being put down would make me not want to go back and defeat the purpose of hainvg a personal trainer.
  • EatClean_WashUrNuts
    EatClean_WashUrNuts Posts: 1,590 Member
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    Your choices are just that. YOUR CHOICES. If you have a trainer harassing you, file a complaint and request a new trainer. If he/she owns the gym, file with the BBB, and leave. You dont need a gym, you dont need a trainer.
  • DeadMarsha
    DeadMarsha Posts: 203
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    Definitely get a new trainer! No trainer should berate you or question you, especially outside of the gym!!
  • supplemama
    supplemama Posts: 1,956 Member
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    Um you are a grown up. Tell your trainer not to speak to you that way. In a calm, no-nonsense manner. Explain you will not tolerate it and what the consequences will be (i.e you fire him and get another trainer).

    Learning how to be assertive AND establish boundaries that other people will respect are great tools for adulthood.
  • DanceForever904
    DanceForever904 Posts: 611 Member
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    Thanks everyone i think i know what to do...ground rules are going to be set and if he cant follow them then i have to leave. ill give it a try
  • lilpe5512
    lilpe5512 Posts: 425 Member
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    I don't agree with the screaming part but I think him holding you accountable is correct. The trainer at my gym doesn't act that way but he does required that I bring in my food list every 2 days. He always reminds me that I can't out exercise a bad diet. He marks all over the food list like a grade school teacher. Set some rules or get another trainer.
  • Cheryl4726
    Cheryl4726 Posts: 17
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    I would leave, or like someone else said get a new trainer. Surely going to the gym is about you getting fitter and feeling good about yourself, being put down won't do that, we all need a bit of a push every now and then, but your trainer won't encourage you to do better by putting you down. He's a bully, hold your head up high and say you are not going to be spoken to and treated that way, everyone deserves to be shown respect and that is one thing you are not getting, you say he goes to church? Really! find that hard to believe, if he won't change his attitude, change him for somone who will inspire you to do more.

    Well done on your weight loss so far, appears to me you're working hard and doing the right things, keep up the good work :happy:
  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,570 Member
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    Don't spend time with people or in places that make you feel bad.
  • jaj68
    jaj68 Posts: 158 Member
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    aren't there HIPPA type rules? he should not have said anything to you in front of others.
    perhaps he was just trying to be supportive...but doesn't realize how it made you feel.
  • monicalosesweight
    monicalosesweight Posts: 1,173 Member
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    Jeepers. I suspect I wouldn't tolerate any trainer then. Frankly, you're not going to harass me for my food list and the only thing I'd want is assistance to get the right exercise routine going. I can't believe you're going to give him a second chance after that stunt he pulled. Did your family stick up for you or were they too shocked to react? Was he really that abusive or was it just one comment and maybe he went too far? I'd say you need to ask yourself those questions and then you'll know whether it's worth it.
  • bjmk19047
    bjmk19047 Posts: 123
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    I would not stay there!
  • gpstrucker
    gpstrucker Posts: 930 Member
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    Fire the jerk.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    Some trainers don't know the balance of being strict military style training and knowing when to stay within limit. If he's making you uncomfortable, fire him. Better yet, fire him in front of everybody so he gets the point.

    I understand the need to be strict and the whole military style of training but these actions are just idiotic
  • LokiOfAsgard
    LokiOfAsgard Posts: 378 Member
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    I would ditch him :I
    No need to make you miserable, being miserable will halt your efforts and do nothing for you. Find a nicer, more accepting trainer :flowerforyou:
  • tigerlinly
    tigerlinly Posts: 219 Member
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    guy sounds like a jerk every one needs some slack once in awhile but to call u out in public he should have decency to say step over here we need to talk. i had a boss who called u out in public needless to say i no longer work for that boss i found someone else all the other people i used to work for when u mess up they take u aside and ask what is going on and chastise u in private
  • monicalosesweight
    monicalosesweight Posts: 1,173 Member
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    I found a thread on a bodybuilding website where they were talking about whether a personal trainer would fall under HIPAA laws and apparently they don't.

    "As per the law, covered entities are:

    a health care provider that conducts certain transactions in electronic form (called here a "covered health care provider").
    a health care clearinghouse.
    a health plan.

    This means that a personal trainer is not a covered entity and therefore not bound by HIPAA rules EXCEPT in the case where the personal trainer works for a covered entity. This means that if you are a personal trainer that works for a doctor, chiropractor, or physical therapist that accepts insurance, you have to protect your clients data under HIPAA rules."

    This was a discussion on a website. Basically, unless your trainer was assigned by your doctor. HIPAA does not apply.

    http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=118821711&page=1

    Here's another link that talks about this and it does look that usually this type of stuff is dealt with through the gym and the contract the trainer has with them.

    http://athleticbusiness.com/articles/article.aspx?articleid=3225&zoneid=28

    Basically, HIPAA does not cover this - only the contract with the gym and it's an ethics violation so may not even be enforced.

    The other issue here is "How did he know you cheated? Were you at the church with your family munching away?" If yes, fire him and move on. That's just wrong in so many ways. If you told him, hmmm. It depends on whether you told him you wanted him to be tough on you. Just make sure you haven't asked him to keep you on track when it comes to food. If no - than you definitely need a new trainer (and if yes - tell him you didn't mean you needed him to track you 24/7 and in public - set up the boundaries).
  • xarge
    xarge Posts: 484 Member
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    My gym is putting waaay to much pressure on me! i went away for a week and didnt make the best choices now im getting yelled At and basically being put down. i mean i cant even go to a church breakfast for my nephews bday without getting in trouble by my trainer (he happens to go to the same church and had the nerve to question me in front of my family) i dont know if i should stay as this is the closest gym or go?

    Have you talked to him about his manners? I usually don't mind bootcamp *kitten* kicking but if you're annoyed, you definitely should talk to him and tell him that you don't appreciate that kind of treatment. Or if you decide to find another trainer, at least settle those terms before starting on your training.
  • ixap
    ixap Posts: 675 Member
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    Different styles work for different people. Some people thrive with "tough love". Personally that would make me miserable and make me dread going to the gym, which is counterproductive. Sounds like he's not a good fit for you; I'd fire him and move on.

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