WOMEN! UGH
missmayeb
Posts: 182 Member
I am just wondering over here. . . . why are women so difficult!?!?! Why do we insist on judging ourselves and judging each other? Why must we tear each other down? I understand that we need motivation, BUT being nasty or hurtful is not motivation its demeaning and demoralizing. No one was born with perfect bodies. See that? NO ONE! While you may love your body, I am sure you could improve something, maybe even your attitude.
I found out yesterday that I am spinning my wheels trying to drop these 15 lbs. Great, wonderful. Why you ask? Because my pituitary gland is f'ed up. YAY! That means absolutely NO metabolism, no energy, depression, anxiety and EXTREME PMS. Woo hoo. I gained weight from being pregnant not because I am eating every cake in sight, even though I did splurge every once in a while, like at a birthday party or a wedding. I walked and did yoga up until my 36 week then I cut back because I was hurting and bloated and carrying an each 30 - 40lbs. That's why I am here on MFP. I didn't get fat just from being a fat a*s. So it really rubs me bad when people say it is completely my fault that I am large. I got up to 180 with my baby then dropped to 160 after I had her and now I am fluctuating between 147 and 150. My goal is 135 which isn't even my lowest weight that I have been before baby.
So on the other side, I got back from Boot Camp and Iraq weighing about 125. I spent hours upon hours working out and eating healthy but that's pretty much your life when you are away from home and someone is pushing you 24/7. My mom saw me after both of them and sent me to the doctor the next day because I was so tiny I look sick. (my mom is WAY tinier but taller than me so she understands tiny) I was wearing a 4, but still never had a thigh gap, still had size 34C bra size and was body conscious to an extreme. I still didn't wear many skirts/dresses or shorts, I was still embarrassed. For whatever reason.
But you know what was crazy about BOTH of those stages in my life. . . .I hated my body, I found flaws and was self conscious about people seeing my body/judging me. I even had girls rag on my about how "fat" I was or scoff at me about my size. Tell me that I need to lose weight. Seriously? Even at my thinnest, 125 lbs, I was still not good enough for WOMEN! Never once did a man tell me I was too large/small.
What I don't get is why women must tear each other down and create this environment of self hatred and social hatred unless you are perfect body, with is COMPLETELY unobtainable!!! Even the most carefree woman can find something not so perfect about their body. . . .even those girls who scoffed at me hate something about themselves or they wouldn't be treating someone else like that, right?
That's why we are all here because something about our health/weight/self needs to be changed or bettered for whatever reason. Some have reached their goals which is pretty inspiring to those of us just starting our journey. We look to those women/men for encouragement and inspiration. They did something right and figured out what worked for them. I also understand that motivation should NOT be hand holding, coddling or even babying those still on the path, that sometimes there needs to be criticism but when you do point out something wrong in a fellow human being's actions why can't we use some tact? Why must it be so hurtful and harsh? You can make the statement honest and straightforward without attacking.
I just want to put it out there that there is no reason for some of the bullying that is going on. I urge you to take a second look at the post before submitting. We are all on our own journey and we look to others for help or just to blow off some aggravation. That is the reason we are all here, to be a group, to feel like we belong and to get some help.
We may not change the world but we could change the attitudes we have towards each other just on MFP. Maybe I am just too much of a hippie. :flowerforyou:
I found out yesterday that I am spinning my wheels trying to drop these 15 lbs. Great, wonderful. Why you ask? Because my pituitary gland is f'ed up. YAY! That means absolutely NO metabolism, no energy, depression, anxiety and EXTREME PMS. Woo hoo. I gained weight from being pregnant not because I am eating every cake in sight, even though I did splurge every once in a while, like at a birthday party or a wedding. I walked and did yoga up until my 36 week then I cut back because I was hurting and bloated and carrying an each 30 - 40lbs. That's why I am here on MFP. I didn't get fat just from being a fat a*s. So it really rubs me bad when people say it is completely my fault that I am large. I got up to 180 with my baby then dropped to 160 after I had her and now I am fluctuating between 147 and 150. My goal is 135 which isn't even my lowest weight that I have been before baby.
So on the other side, I got back from Boot Camp and Iraq weighing about 125. I spent hours upon hours working out and eating healthy but that's pretty much your life when you are away from home and someone is pushing you 24/7. My mom saw me after both of them and sent me to the doctor the next day because I was so tiny I look sick. (my mom is WAY tinier but taller than me so she understands tiny) I was wearing a 4, but still never had a thigh gap, still had size 34C bra size and was body conscious to an extreme. I still didn't wear many skirts/dresses or shorts, I was still embarrassed. For whatever reason.
But you know what was crazy about BOTH of those stages in my life. . . .I hated my body, I found flaws and was self conscious about people seeing my body/judging me. I even had girls rag on my about how "fat" I was or scoff at me about my size. Tell me that I need to lose weight. Seriously? Even at my thinnest, 125 lbs, I was still not good enough for WOMEN! Never once did a man tell me I was too large/small.
What I don't get is why women must tear each other down and create this environment of self hatred and social hatred unless you are perfect body, with is COMPLETELY unobtainable!!! Even the most carefree woman can find something not so perfect about their body. . . .even those girls who scoffed at me hate something about themselves or they wouldn't be treating someone else like that, right?
That's why we are all here because something about our health/weight/self needs to be changed or bettered for whatever reason. Some have reached their goals which is pretty inspiring to those of us just starting our journey. We look to those women/men for encouragement and inspiration. They did something right and figured out what worked for them. I also understand that motivation should NOT be hand holding, coddling or even babying those still on the path, that sometimes there needs to be criticism but when you do point out something wrong in a fellow human being's actions why can't we use some tact? Why must it be so hurtful and harsh? You can make the statement honest and straightforward without attacking.
I just want to put it out there that there is no reason for some of the bullying that is going on. I urge you to take a second look at the post before submitting. We are all on our own journey and we look to others for help or just to blow off some aggravation. That is the reason we are all here, to be a group, to feel like we belong and to get some help.
We may not change the world but we could change the attitudes we have towards each other just on MFP. Maybe I am just too much of a hippie. :flowerforyou:
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Replies
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You hating your own body makes you think others feel the same way. . . is that the jist of it? Because writing 2000 words judging people for being judgy is a little over the top.0
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I'm totally with you. When i was at my thinnest in high school, this girl (who was overweight for her age and height) told me if she was my weight, her mum would have taken her to the DR. Surely she should have already gone about her weight?? I was roughly 112lbs, maybe less and i'm 5'8. Now 160lbs.
I guess girls are just picky and they get jealous. But i always see women and wish i had their body. Even on here, some women are the same weight as me but they look amazing!
I have loads of flaws, not all about my weight though. Women tear other women down simply because they are not happy with themselves. I am guilty of this but i am changing.0 -
No I am just reading post after post with people being mean to each other and I am wondering why we can't just care enough about each other to understand that we each have our own personal journey. That not everyone has the same exact body. I actually don't dislike my body now that I know what I found out yesterday. I realize that my struggle and frustration is more than I thought it was, that there is a chemical imbalance and now that I know it I can take pride in my efforts. But demeaning other people isn't going to make them more aggressive in their weight loss journey just make them more discouraged.0
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I'm totally with you. When i was at my thinnest in high school, this girl (who was overweight for her age and height) told me if she was my weight, her mum would have taken her to the DR. Surely she should have already gone about her weight?? I was roughly 112lbs, maybe less and i'm 5'8. Now 160lbs.
I guess girls are just picky and they get jealous. But i always see women and wish i had their body. Even on here, some women are the same weight as me but they look amazing!
I have loads of flaws, not all about my weight though. Women tear other women down simply because they are not happy with themselves. I am guilty of this but i am changing.
This is why I posted this! I know how it is to feel this way and I don't understand why we can't just put aside our differences and help everyone. Everyone has a struggle they are going through, we should build up not break down!
Yes, we are so simple to judge others but maybe looking a little deeper would help each person just a bit more in their lives.
I would prefer to encourage and stay enthusiastic about your own goals and others goals.0 -
I'm totally with you. When i was at my thinnest in high school, this girl (who was overweight for her age and height) told me if she was my weight, her mum would have taken her to the DR. Surely she should have already gone about her weight?? I was roughly 112lbs, maybe less and i'm 5'8. Now 160lbs.
I guess girls are just picky and they get jealous. But i always see women and wish i had their body. Even on here, some women are the same weight as me but they look amazing!
I have loads of flaws, not all about my weight though. Women tear other women down simply because they are not happy with themselves. I am guilty of this but i am changing.
This is why I posted this! I know how it is to feel this way and I don't understand why we can't just put aside our differences and help everyone. Everyone has a struggle they are going through, we should build up not break down!
Yes, we are so simple to judge others but maybe looking a little deeper would help each person just a bit more in their lives.
I would prefer to encourage and stay enthusiastic about your own goals and others goals.
exactly. you get to an age when you just think sod it. can't be bothered being horrible (not that i ever was...maybe judged people before i got to know them) but life is too short to moan about others.0 -
Loved your post. I think part of the problem is that jealous women don't have self-love. Maybe they themselves aren't getting the support or encouragement they need. They tend to lash out at others just for the self-satisfaction. Just my opinion.
I know in my "former life" (as I love to refer to it as) my ex was never, ever supportive of me. He constantly called me "tt" for thunder thighs. If I started a diet, and I said I lost 5 lbs (or whatever), he'd say "where? In your little finger"? He flat out told me that I was a major turn-off in the sex department and that he didn't find me desirable anymore. This was when I weighed maybe 180 at 5'5". The jist of that is I wonder if that could be some of the problems these women face. But you know what? It's NO excuse if it is the reason. I didn't let it be an excuse for me to bash anyone. We don't know what problems or hardships others face, and I am certainly no one to judge anyone. But as I said, it's still no excuse.
I am doing this for me....not for my husband, not for my kids. I am doing this for ME. I welcome the support, the friends, the encouragement. For today, I will make a conscious effort to eat well, to work out and to encourage all I can.0 -
You hating your own body makes you think others feel the same way. . . is that the jist of it? Because writing 2000 words judging people for being judgy is a little over the top.
By the way I don't think they think that way about me, when some stranger says something to your face, you KNOW they are thinking that way about you. They are judging you without any provoking . . .and hell yes I am judging them for judging me. That is completely uncalled for behavior. Comments from complete strangers like that will make you judge yourself, no matter how confident you are about yourself. And it is funny how the first thing you could say was something rude, kind of proves my point now doesn't it?0 -
I loved your post as well! I think almost everybody is at least a bit unhappy with some part of their body, and some people just feel the need to take their complex out on others.0
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I can't say I know how you feel because I never had anyone out right call me fat. I guess the guys were too busy looking at my DDs and the girls were all too scared of me (I had a bigger build than most of the girls I went to school with). But I know that us women love to hate on each other. Just the other day my roommate's annoying girlfriend was talking about me to one of my friends. She said, "Ceara claims to be on a diet, but she's eating hot pockets and pizza all the time." In reality, I eat Lean Pockets, and I only get pizza maybe once a week or once every two weeks. Plus, I have gotten down to a size 13 and she's gone up from a size 10 to a 15. I know she's only making fun of me because she's getting big and I'm losing weight. That's what you have to chalk it up to: jealousy or feelings of inadequacy. She knows I look better than her, so she's trying to make herself feel better. Don't let it bother you too much. It's just how women are to each other.0
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Loved your post. I think part of the problem is that jealous women don't have self-love. Maybe they themselves aren't getting the support or encouragement they need. They tend to lash out at others just for the self-satisfaction. Just my opinion.
I know in my "former life" (as I love to refer to it as) my ex was never, ever supportive of me. He constantly called me "tt" for thunder thighs. If I started a diet, and I said I lost 5 lbs (or whatever), he'd say "where? In your little finger"? He flat out told me that I was a major turn-off in the sex department and that he didn't find me desirable anymore. This was when I weighed maybe 180 at 5'5". The jist of that is I wonder if that could be some of the problems these women face. But you know what? It's NO excuse if it is the reason. I didn't let it be an excuse for me to bash anyone. We don't know what problems or hardships others face, and I am certainly no one to judge anyone. But as I said, it's still no excuse.
I am doing this for me....not for my husband, not for my kids. I am doing this for ME. I welcome the support, the friends, the encouragement. For today, I will make a conscious effort to eat well, to work out and to encourage all I can.
My father was the same way, he was always like "you'll never have skinny legs" "you should run more" blah blah blah. It was hurtful and I gained a lot of negative feelings towards myself from it. But I have been going to therapy for it, I choose to have a better life and to fight against those hard feelings. Our surrounding environment does weigh on who we are as a person. I am glad you have found the courage and strength to do something for you! It is the best feeling to do what you feel is the best for you. No matter what the world tells us.
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Jealousy is a MAJOR factor. I try to walk around every day with a smile on my face and a kind word to everyone I meet. I think every person has the right to a nice word before a hurtful one. But I am guessing I may be in the minority on that one.0
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Most of us women aren't confident or comfortable in our own bodies, for what ever reason it might be. Still gives no right to be nasty to one another but it happens. Example as to why we must be sure of who we are and not look to others for what they have because we are all made differently.0
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You hating your own body makes you think others feel the same way. . . is that the jist of it? Because writing 2000 words judging people for being judgy is a little over the top.
Guess we know what youdo in your spare time hater
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Most women are egotistical, jealous, *****es thats the problem i have only TWO girlfriends i find it easier to be friends with guys girls are faar too dramatic for my taste. Im the sameway as you kind, outgoing, i say a friendly hello to everyone i meet HOWEVER if i happen to say hello to a guy while his gf is standing there im flirting if i dont agree with a girl im a ***** and if i always DO smile im fake haha society is a ruthless pack of critics most of which are stuffed into female forms. More power to you hippy chick keep the love and the smiles in the end kill em with kindness!0
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People who judge others' by their looks/weight are only doing it because they are insecure about themselves and it makes them feel better if they can bring someone else down to their level. Every individual, large or small, is beautiful in their own unique way. Some people, however, are too immature and negative to step back and see the beauty in anything/anyone. I've learned the hard way that negative people are a waste of time. They are too wrapped up in their own issues to realize that their actions may be hurting others. This website is for support and motivation for people trying to become healthier. There is no reason whatsoever for people to be treating others poorly on here.0
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You are all beautiful, even negative people. I believe I am just going keep on smiling and loving people for who they are not what they look like.
Thank you for understanding my point. We all have a long journey even if it is just a pound or two and kind words make the trip just a bit easier.0 -
Love this post and hope everyone reads it. I know it's mainly directed at women but guys are not that far behind from doing the same thing. With that being said humans in general seem to struggle with positive motivation. You see the news coverage? The more negative the better ratings. Same thing with some post threads on here.0
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I think we all have self image issues regardless of the stage we are at in our lives and the whole reason for joining MFP is to be surrounded by like-minded people who are facing the same obstacles we are during this journey. I've seen it too - where people post really negative comments for no reason (I've also seen some that are well deserved out there too). Whatever the reason I totally agree that most people need to think twice about what they post - especially when the person is asking for advice.0
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thanks for the thoughtful post. I'm just curious, what happened to your pituitary gland? are you talking endocrine problems, hormonal problems making it difficult to lose weight?
The weirdest thing is i had the exact same before/during/and after pregnancy weight stats. I'm been struggling with the last 10 pounds for over a year.0 -
thanks for the thoughtful post. I'm just curious, what happened to your pituitary gland? are you talking endocrine problems, hormonal problems making it difficult to lose weight?
The weirdest thing is i had the exact same before/during/and after pregnancy weight stats. I'm been struggling with the last 10 pounds for over a year.
I just got my blood results back yesterday from my PA, she is having an Endocrinologist specialist see me to have imaging done. My estrogen is through the roof, I have hypothyroidism and my cortisol is through the roof too. I am good on sugar, cardiovascular, and Vitamin D. They at first thought it was just PMS and put me on anti-depressants but come to find out that was just a symptom. I am just glad that I am figuring things out. It makes you feel better when a doctor tells you you are doing the right things but your body isn't allowing it to work. Once I get done with all the other tests, my PA is going to do an EKG (?) to figure out if I am sympathetic or not. I guess this will tell if you are a low or high impact type of body.
I hate that last 10 lbs. GRRR. :mad:0 -
Love this post and hope everyone reads it. I know it's mainly directed at women but guys are not that far behind from doing the same thing. With that being said humans in general seem to struggle with positive motivation. You see the news coverage? The more negative the better ratings. Same thing with some post threads on here.
I am glad but also sad to hear men have the same problem. Glad that's it isn't just women being petty but sad that no one is exempt from all of the jealousy and pettiness.
I just want to surround myself with positive vibes!!!0 -
Girl why are you sweating what anyone has to say about your body image! Since I see you daily, I know you look absolutely fabulous and you have lost a bit of weight since we met nearly a year ago!
Your efforts and motivation has truly inspired me to lose weight and live a healthier lifestyle. Let's do this!0
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