(not a debate) Struggling with myself...

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rocksyraeis
rocksyraeis Posts: 194
in Chit-Chat
Well i LOVE body ink, i have eight tattoos already small the biggest ones are 2-3 inches up my side. Ive always wanted angel wings all the way down my back, the longest feathers ending on my butt my fiancee doesnt agree with this idea. He says he loves my back the way it is and doesnt want me to get that big of a tattoo on it. Hes ok with me getting a long stem of roses up my leg ending on the side of my butt, however the wings he doesnt like.

Now ive wanted this for 11 years now alot longer then ive known him, however i dont feel i want to risk losing the attraction he has for me on something like that. The symbol of the wings stems from when i was 6 my mother took sleeping pills and flipped our car with me in it, i woke up face down in a pile of glass when i went to get out of the car a man stopped me a d said "you cant get out yet..." he gently pushed me back in and shortly i heard the ambulance. When they pulled me out the man was nowhere to be found.

This past 4th of July, i flipped my car with my daughter in it she had NO injuries. I on the other hand was not very lucky i had to be ventilated on site at the hospital as i wasnt breathing, ect ect. Back to my point, the symbol is how lucky i am to be blessed with a guardian angel, he said he wouldnt mind seeing the artists trace line on my back to see if he likes it. Im struggleing with what if he doesnt? How do i compromise this?

Please give me genuine advice, :flowerforyou: thankyou in advance.

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  • 879311
    879311 Posts: 60
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    Ok, while normally I would say that something so huge as a tat covering your entire back would be something that you would not do without discussing it with your finace.....I would have to say that with the story you shared with us and the REASON behind getting such a tat....on top of the fact you have wanted to do this for over a decade....ANY man should support that and not give you grief over something that is so important to you.

    He will still be attracted to you....you are a lovely lovely lady......I would do what your HEART tells you....if you are struggling this much, you must REALLY want it......so you should get it.

    Just my opnion
  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,455 Member
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    Weird suggestion maybe but every time I'm contemplating a new tattoo... I draw it on myself first and wear it for a time to see if I really like it. Maybe have him or an artsy friend sketch it on your back do you can both get a feel for it.

    I'm not sure I'd let a fiancé stop me from something I've wanted so long and means so much to me.... But I'm awfully hard headed. ;)
  • Pedal_Pusher
    Pedal_Pusher Posts: 1,166 Member
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    It's your body, why does he get to decide? You want it, get it. You don't want it, don't get it. No really, it's that simple.
  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
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    I think done right the angel wings as you described would look fantastic. This is a side benefit, but a tat such as that would force you to stay in shape.
  • mminor77
    mminor77 Posts: 313
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    If this is something that you've wanted that long and just the meaning behind it alone, Id go for it. Honestly, if your SO wouldnt be attracted to you anymore over something like that I would say maybe he is not worth it. If he loves you like he should the tattoo wont matter especially because of what it means to you and its importance.
  • rocksyraeis
    rocksyraeis Posts: 194
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    full_back_wings___pt__2_by_johnathanxd.jpg heres the tat
  • rocksyraeis
    rocksyraeis Posts: 194
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    I think done right the angel wings as you described would look fantastic. This is a side benefit, but a tat such as that would force you to stay in shape.

    Itll keep me motivated for life ;)
  • DrMAvDPhD
    DrMAvDPhD Posts: 2,097 Member
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    It is your body, yes, but it is also both of you in the relationship. The ultimate choice is yours, but you cannot hold it against him if he decides this is some sort of deal breaker. He's made his feelings known.

    That being said, if it meant that much to me, I'd do it. You can't change who you are for a man. If he can't accept you with the tattoo, it wasn't meant to be IMO.
  • wbandel
    wbandel Posts: 530 Member
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    At first I was going to say maybe that you could compromise, with a smaller tattoo on your back or something. The image you showed though, there really is no other way to alter it. It just looks so aesthetically pleasing the way it is (unless you did more of just the top wings and had it fade out once it hit the middle...?). I think there are ways you could make it seem less "overwhelming", if that is what he is worried about. Like just line work and no coloring. Or a simple black/grey or something. IDK

    I've also had a near death experience, and it can be a very emotional experience. Something like that makes a huge impact on who you are inside. I would say that if you've thought about this for so long and it really means a lot to you, that you'll probably regret it if you don't get it.

    I think eventually he would understand. And knowing that you got it without his total consent would probably help show him how much it really meant to you to go through with it.
  • sbernardy
    sbernardy Posts: 188
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    It's absolutely beautiful!!!!! I can see both sides... but I think with him understanding the reason behind it... I can't see why he would say NO... If it was me.. I would get it because of the meaning behind it!
  • missym357
    missym357 Posts: 210 Member
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    Your fiance may not like it, but it is your body and if he loves you and knows how important to you it is, then he should be able to accept it. I understand how he probably feels though, tattoos have been an issue between my husband and I in the past. He gets a lot of happiness from ink- I personally am not into tats at all. He is sleeved and has a good amount on his back and legs. I prefer bare skin. That is my problem though and I just have to deal with it. He thinks tats on women are dead sexy and would love it if I had some- there's no way in hell I ever will. We both have to get over it. You live once and I believe it just isn't right to tell someone what to do with their body- love is and should be way bigger than that.
  • Show_Stopper
    Show_Stopper Posts: 656 Member
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    I have wings that cover my back for a similar story and I say it's your body your SO should love you for who you are not just what you look like with that being said I would hope that he would understand and support whatever decision you make in reguards to your tattoo
  • Lina4Lina
    Lina4Lina Posts: 712 Member
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    I don't find tattoos aesthetically pleasing so my perspective is a bit different.

    The thing is that you had tattoos when you started dating? He knew that so I figure at some point, he either doesn't mind them or he tried to ignore that they were there because he liked you as a person.

    For some people, tattoos would be a deal breaker. If someone I dated had a tattoo (and wasn't heavily) tattooed but I liked them, I could see myself just ignoring it. If they started to get heavily tattooed, I'm honestly not sure what I would do but I'm guessing I'd just deal with it if everything else about the relationship was good.

    Now though I'm married and if my husband one day decided to get a tattoo and felt strongly about it, I'd just ignore it and pretend like it wasn't there.

    (P.S. I have a different quasi similar story where I felt an accident was prevented as one minute I swore I was going to be t-boned and the next minute, I was 50 feet away, safely stopped in the car)
  • LizHowerton
    LizHowerton Posts: 329 Member
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    I don't find tattoos aesthetically pleasing so my perspective is a bit different.

    The thing is that you had tattoos when you started dating? He knew that so I figure at some point, he either doesn't mind them or he tried to ignore that they were there because he liked you as a person.

    For some people, tattoos would be a deal breaker. If someone I dated had a tattoo (and wasn't heavily) tattooed but I liked them, I could see myself just ignoring it. If they started to get heavily tattooed, I'm honestly not sure what I would do but I'm guessing I'd just deal with it if everything else about the relationship was good.

    Now though I'm married and if my husband one day decided to get a tattoo and felt strongly about it, I'd just ignore it and pretend like it wasn't there.

    (P.S. I have a different quasi similar story where I felt an accident was prevented as one minute I swore I was going to be t-boned and the next minute, I was 50 feet away, safely stopped in the car)

    I agree with this posters perspective. If my husband came home with a large tattoo on his back I would be very upset. I love him, it's not a deal breaker, but I'd be very upset. He has a small one on his arm, that I ignore, and he doesn't like it (got it when he was young) Guess I would learn to ignore it.

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