Am I being unfair?

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  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
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    We have a big family and sometimes the celebration is frankly more of a pain than it is worth.
    Do what you want.
    Maybe you can all go to a movie or something?
  • Drussander
    Drussander Posts: 266 Member
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    I don't agree with you, but that doesn't mean you are wrong. However, just because I am dieting doesn't mean I can't go out and spend time with friends and family. I don't want to wall myself off with dieting. I would have gone out with the family and had fun figuring out how to eat healthy at the restaurant. many restuarants have small plates and will try to accomodate healthy eaters. You should see me order Chinese take out....
  • Laddiegirl
    Laddiegirl Posts: 382 Member
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    I think its your birthday so you should be able to chose and doing something together, just not revolving around a dinner table is a great solution! In my family we always tweak it to the birthday person's taste. My dad and I don't really care for cake so he always gets pie on his birthday and I ask for birthday rootbeer floats, lol. No one cares because its the birthday person's day and its more about spending time together on that day.
  • ButterbeansNHam
    ButterbeansNHam Posts: 1
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    NOT being unfair - and I totally understand where you're coming from. My hub and I are invited often to social events, and EVERYTHING revolves around eating and drinking. It makes dieting difficult sometimes. How about this: Pick a great movie for everyone to celebrate your birthday, sneak in some cal-friendly snacks in your purse, buy a diet drink and the rest of the family can get whatever snacks they'd like! Cheaper than a big meal, and you'll have a great time!
  • clbowman11
    clbowman11 Posts: 117
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    I think your doing what's best for you & I think they did want to do something special for you, but it seems everything now days has to be celebrated with a lot of fattening food or dining out. I agree with you. I think people should find a way to celebrate things without food. lol.
  • Agator82
    Agator82 Posts: 249 Member
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    Your birthday = your decision :) Happy early birthday :flowerforyou:

    Ditto. Glad to hear your family is so supportive.
  • rextcat
    rextcat Posts: 1,408 Member
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    i would sugest going to a movie with them instead of dinner
  • dreamsofescaping
    dreamsofescaping Posts: 206 Member
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    I don't think you are being unfair. Maybe you could have a celebration at your house with veggies and a light dip, some yummy healthy recipies from dashingdish.com :-) and just visit with each other :-) Instead of birthday cake maybe mini cupcakes I don't think there would be a lot of cals in those iddy biddy tiny ones. Happy birthday by the way :)
  • Shrinking_Stacey
    Shrinking_Stacey Posts: 100
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    I would probably decline the offer to go out to dinner as well but you don't have to ignore your bday all together. Why don't you offer to cook (yeah, I know it's your birthday why should you cook?) and have everyone come over - or if a family member offers to host a gathering at their house bring a dish, and a board game so that the center is not food. I suggest "cards against humanity" - you'll laugh your butt off!!!


    Life is far to short! Celebrate your birthday with your family who clearly love you!!

    Happy Birthday :flowerforyou:

    Excellent idea! Do something that isnt food centered but allows you to spend quality time with your family. Birthdays only come once a year, they should be filled with family & love <3
  • SmileeBarbFLA
    SmileeBarbFLA Posts: 138
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    Thanks again for all the feedback. I have been on this weight loss journey for a few years now. I lost about 50 then once I started going out on weekends and having a little of this and a little of that, I slowly put almost 20 lbs back on and have been struggling to get it back off for a while. I'm finally losing again after overcoming a long, frustrating plateau so that's kind of my reasoning. I'd do great all week, then blow it on the weekends. I haven't been doing that lately by not eating out much or being VERY selective what or where I eat and it's been working. I don't feel deprived at all. I feel happy that I'm finally losing again so its worth it. And to me, like someone else mentioned earlier, it's just the strong willpower I have now. Maybe I'll reconsider and go out with them, I'm not sure yet but I'm just trying for myself to finally do this and do it right. No more of the yo-yo, up and down, up and down.

    Not my family as much but oh boy, it will really test my willpower as I'm sure Sat night my friends will want to get me drunk LOL. Only a Michelob Ultra or Rum & diet (or 2) for me :drinker:

    My manager at work today commented "you look like you're losing weight" ... made my weekend! :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile:
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,287 Member
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    It is decisions like this one that make you get to goal. good for you. Your family understands..anyone who doesn't could be a saboteur..so watch out.

    suggestions:

    Have a family member cook a healthy meal at home for you..and a low fat birthday cake (maybe grill out?)

    I like the go to the movies thing...

    go to your pick of a restaurant that you know has a meal you like within your calories.

    YOu can always have a sliver of cake...and can suggest the cake you want from a bakery that makes a low fat lower calorie cake.
  • taanoir
    taanoir Posts: 9
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    First off Happy Birthday! Secondly no your not being unfair. My family has a similar birthday tradition for everyone, whole family gets together and does dinner (now that were all adults). My grandparents are not very mobile so for my sisters bithday (who did not want to do dinner, for simmilar reasons) we did a movie night at the house. Whatever you do, just enjoy it :)
  • msacurrie
    msacurrie Posts: 144 Member
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    Well it's your choice - but remember - time with family is very important. You may regret the time lost! Let them treat you :) if you've been working hard at this, you deserve some time to celebrate LIFE! :) Happy birthday!
  • javagsd
    javagsd Posts: 82
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    How about a substitute activity like game or card night?
  • Wenchilada
    Wenchilada Posts: 472 Member
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    I liked the suggestion that someone else made about offering to have them over for dinner and board games. Arguably, it's your birthday and therefore you shouldn't necessarily have to cook and host, but at the same time, with that option you can remain in control of the dining situation and everyone can still have a fun time together.

    I think I understand what you're getting at about it never being as easy as "just" ordering skinless chicken & veggies or an unadorned salad. But like others have said, one birthday meal at a restaurant, where you indulge in something that you might normally consider off-limits, isn't going to ruin a week's worth of progress. It's important to get back on track, but try to enjoy yourself. I "gained" 3 lbs Saturday night after a BBQ that I had forgotten we were going to until about 3 hours before we went. I had been pretty lazy all day and had snacked a fair amount during the day. I was just going to not eat when we got there, but I was actually hungry, and the burgers smelled ridiculously good. So I had a couple of burger patties on my plate (I can't have wheat, so at least I saved a few calories there), a couple of brats, and a hard cider. I went WAY WAY over for the day (like, 1000 over). Sunday morning, I was morbidly curious, so I got on the scale - I was up 3 lbs from my weigh-in on Friday. Now, 1000 extra calories does not equal 3 lbs of legitimate weight gain, and I had to remind myself of that a few times. I watched my sodium intake for the next couple of days, and tried to stay within my target calories (although I did have a gluten-free cupcake Sunday night, after I had already hit my goal for the day... we just got a Whole Foods so I obviously had to do some *cough* quality control on their gluten-free products). Anyway, when I weighed myself on Tuesday morning, I had not only dropped that 3 lbs from the weekend, but another 1/2 lb or so, and I'm back on track now.

    Anyway. I hope you have a happy birthday with your family, with or without a slab of ribs. It is possible to have a social gathering without food, but some people get nervous about that. You could maybe go to the zoo or something, or see a show, and then share some fro-yo or go out for coffee afterward to chat? But having to go way out of your comfort zone to do something for YOUR birthday, just to make your family happy - that just seems kinda crummy. :flowerforyou:
  • delilah47
    delilah47 Posts: 1,658
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    You're not being unfair. Birthday plans don't always have to be dinner. You could all get together and go to a movie, amusement park, picnic (with everyone bringing their own food or planning who brings what) and you could fix your own picnic food. You could all go on a hike..etc., etc.
  • Heather_Rider
    Heather_Rider Posts: 1,159 Member
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    Why not invite everyone over, have tons of fresh fruit and veggies and make non alcoholic smoothies! (fruit, a little no calorie liquid like propel or even water.. and some ice!) Then turn up the music and have a dance off! Food thats good for you, lots of exercise & a heck of a time!! and take lots of pictures & make a frame on the wall for a reminder of how you succeeded in having an amazing time while sticking up for your new lifestyle!! =)

    Edited to sayif you want to drink.. add one shot of your choice in the smoothies! They are REALLY good & will be about 120 calories per BIG drink!
  • fabafter5
    fabafter5 Posts: 200 Member
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    Not unfair at all. For Mother's Day this year my Hubby asked what I wanted to do. I told him that i wanted to go on a family hike and have a picnic dinner planned by him of course. He chose an amazing challenging hike that lead to a beautiful waterfall. He packed all of my favorite healthy foods and a couple unhealthy ones also.

    I felt much better about eating my Mother's Day cupcake after hiking uphill for 6 miles with a baby on my back. It's your day so choose something that you really want to do!

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