I want new friends on MFP but I'm afraid of being judged...

enoughofnothing
enoughofnothing Posts: 10
in Introduce Yourself
Hi :flowerforyou:

I'm on my 84 day here on MFP and I currently weight 113,5 lbs and fighting everyday to keep it. On November 2011, I was 138 lbs. I know it's not a lot compared to a lot of people here but I wasn't happy at all with the way I looked and I was eating crappy unbelievable big portions. I've always kinda dealt with depression since I was a little girl and in November 2011, everything became worse. I was barely eating and I've lost weight very fast. It was pretty unhealthy but I didn't have any ED. On January 2012, I decided to get back on tracks. I started to eat more, better and clean (pescatarian) and exercise 6-7 days a week with Insanity, HipHop Abs and weight lifting at home. Now, I feel so much better mentally and physically that I've been losing weight healthily and I like the way my body looks, but I still want to reach my UGW of 110 lbs and reduce my body fat percentage. My family say I'm too skinny to be checking my calories and no eating meat and they're making fun of me. It is really annoying. I just want to have some friends here, but I'm afraid of being judged for my diary, my weight goal or my shyness due to my social anxiety and the fact that my English is not very good (sorry I'm a french Canadian from Quebec :blushing: ). Well, I'm just looking for new friends because this site is really amazing and everyone here are so supportive. Feel free to add me !

Have a nice day :smile:
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Replies

  • caseyjade88
    caseyjade88 Posts: 89 Member
    As long as you eat around 1200 or more a day, on average, feel free to add me! I'm non-judgmental, but I do like to give advice when needed. I used to be anorexic in my early teens, and I still struggle with it to this day. So I personally can't handle looking at diaries seeing only 900 calories consumed on a daily basis. That's the only reason for that request.
  • tkkd
    tkkd Posts: 13
    I will happy to add you. I am new with the whole thing so you won't get judgement from me. As long as you are healthy and not model skinny then you should be okay. I am a neighbor from ontario.

    Theresa
  • 1n2m3g
    1n2m3g Posts: 40 Member
    I don't judge :)
  • CowgirlKimi
    CowgirlKimi Posts: 107 Member
    Sister, You are precious, lovely, and wonderful. Do not fear judgement from anyone. Period. Here or anywhere else in life.

    I don't even know you, but I know the One who made you and knows you intimately. (Jeremiah 1:5 "I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb.")

    Love you!

    Kimi
  • pumalama
    pumalama Posts: 140 Member
    il y a beaucoup de gens qui parlent français ici :)
    tu peux m'ajouter comme amie si tu veux. J'ai eu un parcours semblable au tien.
    je ne suis pas toujours un exemple à suivre (gâteau, sirop d'érable, etc.) mais j'aime encourager les gens à attendre leurs objectifs.
    ne t'inquiète pas, ton anglais est excellent :)
  • shanpwn
    shanpwn Posts: 66 Member
    I'm happy to be your friend. I won't judge. I can speak a wee bit of french, so no comments on your english, either. I'm moving from a similar weight to a similar weight goal.
  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
    There is a difference between someone judging you and telling you the truth if they see you doing something dangerous or unhealthy.
    There's nothing wrong with not eating meat. That's a lifestyle choice more than a diet mechanism.

    If you were my friend, at 113 pounds, and only eating 1200 calories per day, I would tell you to knock it off.

    That said, I don't know how many calories you *are* eating so I can't say anything.

    Just don't write off the honest people who aren't afraid to speak their minds as "judgmental."
  • tbspoon09
    tbspoon09 Posts: 19
    Sister, You are precious, lovely, and wonderful. Do not fear judgement from anyone. Period. Here or anywhere else in life.

    I don't even know you, but I know the One who made you and knows you intimately. (Jeremiah 1:5 "I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb.")

    Love you!

    Kimi



    I don't know Kimi but I must say I agree with her. I love the scripture by the way!!
  • farmwife3815
    farmwife3815 Posts: 326 Member
    You can add me if you like. I won't judge you. I will call you out if I see something unhealthy or dangerous that your doing. Your body needs fuel and the only way to get it is to eat. So, having said that, if you would like too, feel free to add me! Have a great day!
  • thenewkayla
    thenewkayla Posts: 313 Member
    As long as your eating 1200 calories a day i ll be your friend.
    Sometimes i do too struggle with getting in the 1200 net calories.
    But like others say your body needs fuel!
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
    Feel free to add me too, I don't judge. I don't care what people weigh, I don't generally use weight as a guide myself, but rather body fat and measurements. Plus there are some days where I eat under 1200 calories, although I aim for 1400.

    Aussi, je parle le français. Je suis anglaise, mais je suis prof de français dans un collège.
  • Eagles802051
    Eagles802051 Posts: 54 Member
    You can add me and I'll try and give you support anytime you need it. Great job on committing to a healthier lifestyle!! It's such a great feeling waking up every morning and seeing all the hard work in the mirror and feeling so much clearer mentally. Keep it up your doing great!
  • sensored44
    sensored44 Posts: 45 Member
    judge not lest ye be judged...

    This is a credo that I live by...

    Add me, am new and need some friends too!
  • madtownjeremy
    madtownjeremy Posts: 249
    I'm pretty sure anyone who would judge a person doesn't belong here.

    So welcome!!
  • elymmurr
    elymmurr Posts: 8
    My family also tells me I'm not big and don't need to lose weight. But it's not just about weightloss. It's about a lifestyle change to feel better and to have a healthier life! Don't worry about that. Eat healthy, exercise and people will start to notice the difference in you.Soon, you will probably have people asking you how you did it! Feel free to add me! We definitely shouldn't judge people who are working to improve! We all need support!
  • sfgonzales
    sfgonzales Posts: 110 Member
    Feel free to add me1
  • wgn4166
    wgn4166 Posts: 771 Member
    I am always told I don't need to lose any more weight. I don't care what other people think. I have a goal, and I plan to reach it. I eat healthy 99.9% of the time.
    I will not judge you, nor should anyone else. Judging isn't our job. Being a friend is.
    Add me if you like!
  • whoviangleek
    whoviangleek Posts: 24
    I don't judge. I've got a super-skinny friend I've known since 3rd grade who never seems to gain weight no matter how much junk she eats, and I've got a friend from Germany so I know what it's like when someone thinks their English is terrible (yours is fine from what I've seen ;)). Feel free to add me.
  • AverageAngel
    AverageAngel Posts: 123 Member
    I am on board with most everyone here. It is hard to judge someone , when you don't know what battles they are *really* fighting. If you are honest with yourself, and trying hard, what more can anyone ask? When you allow others to peer into your life via social media you open yourself up to many ideas, opinions and thoughts. Be it educated or ignorant. There is no ONE right way. :flowerforyou: That being said, I personally do not care what you eat how you eat it, or what your calorie count is. So long as you are not into self harm, and if you do have trouble with food/ exercise OCD- I really hope you can find the true attention from a professional you need.
    I will share with you MY personal goal in hopes that it inspires you. : My goal is to be stronger. I will always be thick and muscular. God made me that way. Instead of hiding and misusing his gift, my mission is to praise myself for the things I DO have,and be better. Stronger. Use my gifts.
    So use your gift! If you are naturally slender take a look at the Bar Method, or Tracy Anderson Method. Both focusing on the beauty of fine muscle tone, accentuating the beauty of lean smaller bodies. Learn to nourish your body, not count calories. :wink:
  • ready4fit
    ready4fit Posts: 39
    My family also tells me I'm not big and don't need to lose weight. But it's not just about weightloss. It's about a lifestyle change to feel better and to have a healthier life! Don't worry about that. Eat healthy, exercise and people will start to notice the difference in you.Soon, you will probably have people asking you how you did it! Feel free to add me! We definitely shouldn't judge people who are working to improve! We all need support!

    Same! hahah I catch myself saying "life change" instead of diet and such. I want to get back to my highschool weight or somewhere close to that and its not about anybody else, including family, besides myself! Somethings you just have to do alone but support (aka this site) can be very motivating! :)
  • penniemh
    penniemh Posts: 124 Member
    I am on board with most everyone here. It is hard to judge someone , when you don't know what battles they are *really* fighting. If you are honest with yourself, and trying hard, what more can anyone ask? When you allow others to peer into your life via social media you open yourself up to many ideas, opinions and thoughts. Be it educated or ignorant. There is no ONE right way. :flowerforyou: That being said, I personally do not care what you eat how you eat it, or what your calorie count is. So long as you are not into self harm, and if you do have trouble with food/ exercise OCD- I really hope you can find the true attention from a professional you need.
    I will share with you MY personal goal in hopes that it inspires you. : My goal is to be stronger. I will always be thick and muscular. God made me that way. Instead of hiding and misusing his gift, my mission is to praise myself for the things I DO have,and be better. Stronger. Use my gifts.
    So use your gift! If you are naturally slender take a look at the Bar Method, or Tracy Anderson Method. Both focusing on the beauty of fine muscle tone, accentuating the beauty of lean smaller bodies. Learn to nourish your body, not count calories. :wink:

    I agree 100% with this post. That said, feel free to add me, if you'd like. ((I rarely, if ever, listen to people's comments about my weight, only my doctor, because I've been called "fat" when I weighed less than you do, I am 5'4", these days I get told "there's nothing wrong with your wt! and I started this journey of wt loss at ~245#'s!))

    Cheers
  • docscottj
    docscottj Posts: 8 Member
    Like all have said, we're here to meet our goals and support one another.
    I don't have friends here either...feel free to add me if you like.

    Scott
  • Nik0417
    Nik0417 Posts: 96 Member
    i don't judge! Feel free to add me :)

    Nikki.
  • opuntia
    opuntia Posts: 860 Member
    Hi - in some ways you're quite similar to me. I was also at a weight which didn't strictly speaking count as 'overweight' according to BMI charts, but was on the verge of overweight, and definitely wasn't right for my body, and I felt uncomfortable in it. I'd gained the weight from overeating - not stopping eating when I was full - and having a sedentary lifestyle. And now, having become more aware of my eating habits, listening to my body, stopping when I'm full, eating a lot more fruit and veg, and also having a much more active lifestyle, I have lost 25 lb, and am feeling much, much better, physically and mentally. Also still within the healthy range of the BMI charts, so not underweight. It's interesting how even within that 'healthy' range, the actual healthy weight will be different for each person. Feel free to add me.
  • ksm_623
    ksm_623 Posts: 12 Member
    No judgements here. In the end, people generally set goals and attain them to feel better about themselves. As long as you feel good about what you are doing and you aren't doing anything dangerous, I would be a supportive addition to your friend collection. Feel free to add me :)
  • cole_carter
    cole_carter Posts: 174 Member
    We are all here to help each other. Best wishes to you.
  • gaschwartz
    gaschwartz Posts: 6 Member
    There is nothing wrong with wanting to be healthy and fit, and it is necessary to track our performance and improve on it. I am really close to my goal as well and it is tough, but the closer you get the harder it seems. Keep it up and do not let anyone keep you down. Add me if you would like.
  • innocenceportrayed
    innocenceportrayed Posts: 569 Member
    I don't judge intentionally.
    Everyone judges.

    I just do it silently. And If I have an opinion I'll say it in the nicest way possible and then it's your right to agree or disagree with my said opinion..

    Just being honest. You can add me if you want.
  • Jodibear58
    Jodibear58 Posts: 280 Member
    Not a Judge..feel free to add :smile:
  • cliq2000
    cliq2000 Posts: 21
    Hi, also new here, but it is a great site...that bein said i have a judgy family as well, so yes i really heard what you said! Although it would be a lot more helpful to know how tall you are, it still seems to me that you realized your eating was unhealthy, and you felt lousy and depressed. Seems to me a loving friend and family would be overjoyed with your new lifestyle. Im here for you!

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