I need to rant and I'm sorry...

A honest man has nothing to hide. It sounds like he is verbally abusive. Is it possible he is freaking out that you took such a big step to move to another country. I would see if he's be willing to go to couples counseling. It sounds like he feels trapped, and doesn't think how you must feel all alone with no one else nearby you could reach out to. I've never been one to throw something away unless it couldn't be fixed but you need to learn when to stay and when to let go. Maybe it was too big of a step to move in with him, let alone in a strange place.

This sounds like an awful position. I'm sorry that I can't rescue you, but I'd say let him laugh it up for a while. Try not to let him see you upset. Instead of being upset, go out by yourself, find a friend. Someone to talk to, and know that you are absolutely right. You are not being controlling, he is being a jerk. But when you go out, do the same thing to him, don't tell him where you are going, just go. Let him see how you feel. Then try to talk to him calmly. No yelling. And come to an agreement.

If you can't come to a compromise, maybe it's time to find a new boyfriend. ?

I wish you the best. If you want to add me, I'll do my best to be supportive and if nothing else, an ear to hear what you have on your chest. (:

Kalynx i was trolling the boards and read that and thought oh wow what a pretty girl, she reminds me of someone, then was reading and was like ugh, it sounds like an abusive relationship I cant take this tonight...now just realized its you. gf you gotta make yourself first. period. end of story. might be time to think about a change that will work for you. he will need to figure it out on his own, and the answer is "he cant live without you." I'm sorry. Please message me if you want to talk more any time.

hun! i understand me and my boyfriend well ex just broke up because he always has this hidden agenda and last night he got off work at 11:30 like always gets home at 12 ish but he never called me so i called him a couple of times completely worried. we dont live together so i wasnt sure if he even made it home. and then around 4 or 5 he calls me back saying he just woke up! he didnt even seen tired but i didnt say anything at all i just asked a couple of questions like where were you. thinking we been together for 2 years and use to tell each other everything and we have been talking about getting married soon so we can move in together ( religious reasons). its so dumb he can do this to me. he always does this he always has to hide where he is and what he is doing! its not fair to me idk what he is doing! and then when he came over today after ignoring my calls all day for no reason! he comes over. i asked him a couple of questions with out grilling him and then i asked to see his phone just to see if he would hand it over and he told me i dont pay the phone bill i have my own phone i have no right to touch his phone! so im like ok your hiding something! so i pretty much broke up with him because i cant stand the constant hiding and lying! ugh it is so frustrating! he cheated in the past and now i think he is doing it again! oh well his lost! but it still hurts so much! i guess im with you need to rant a little to! i just dont have many or any one to talk to so here i put it

I can understand where you are coming from. I moved to another country myself to be with my significant other (US>UK).

It was (is) *really, really, really, really* daunting. I can understand that you will feel insecure and need massive amounts of understanding and compassion. Afterall, it's not what you know or are used to.

My husband didn't understand the growing pains I had to go through and still go through living in another country...that is...until we tried living in the US to see if that could ease some of the burden. We moved to the south, just one or two states below the OP. It taught him a valuable lesson: 1) It's hard to leave behind everything you knew...everyone you knew and try to move on some where new. (There will be HIGH emotions A LOT) 2) there is a massive culture shock 3) you have to stick together 4) I was made of stronger stuff than he was :blushing: because he wanted to move back to the UK less than a year later. Hell, it was probably a matter of less than 6 months before he admitted that he wanted to go home.

Since then he's been more considerate of how I feel about our relationship and our living circumstances. We've been married for ten years. It's not easy, but you do get used to it. Both have to make allowances to make the transition easier.

Sounds to me that he is being resistant to having to be accountable to another individual, but that's the nature of living with someone and/or having a serious relationship. You have to be thoughtful, reasonable, accountable, be able to compromise (to a degree) and most of all be respectful at every turn of the road.

Though I must say....you have some massive control on not wanting to slap the living bejesus out of him for laughing about it.

I'm glad you have talked and things are better. Just wanted to tell you that this is an issue me and my husband had early in our relationship. He was 22 and had not had anyone concerned about where he was and what he was doing since he was 16. He did not understand why I needed to know what he was doing. It wasn't that I didn't trust him, it was that I missed him when he was gone and I was concerned that he was okay if he was gone for longer than I thought he logically should be. Anyway, we have been married 15 years, so, see it works itself out. But, it is an issue that I would not compromise on. I think it is very reasonable for you to expect him to let you know what he is doing.