I'm so useless :(
Aequitas503
Posts: 62
I just ate an ENTIRE 200g Lindt dark Gold Bunny.
I didn't even really enjoy it and now I feel sick. No dinner for me to try and make up some calories (I was really looking forward to what I'd planned to). I didn't even really realise that I was eating it, it was mindless boredom/procrastination eating and I looked down at the empty wrapper and just cried.
Sometimes I wonder why I'm even bothering on here.
I know tomorrow is another day and all that, but looking at my diary for today and seeing -65 for fat just makes me want to cry. I did cry earlier. I've just finished an extra 45 mins on the exercise bike to try and work a bit off but I hate myself. I have no willpower, I'm useless.
I didn't even really enjoy it and now I feel sick. No dinner for me to try and make up some calories (I was really looking forward to what I'd planned to). I didn't even really realise that I was eating it, it was mindless boredom/procrastination eating and I looked down at the empty wrapper and just cried.
Sometimes I wonder why I'm even bothering on here.
I know tomorrow is another day and all that, but looking at my diary for today and seeing -65 for fat just makes me want to cry. I did cry earlier. I've just finished an extra 45 mins on the exercise bike to try and work a bit off but I hate myself. I have no willpower, I'm useless.
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Replies
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First of all stop calling yourself useless. Stop hating yourself. We are all human and we all like to eat, that is just how it goes. Stop feeling guilty it is an emotion that has no use apart from making us feel terrible. Second of all, have some dinner else you will feel even worse, just have a little bit less.
Yes tomorrow is a new day but if you keep considering yourself useless you will only carry on eating what you don't want to eat. In the grand scheme of things this is not a huge issue, the biggest issue here is the emotions connected to it.0 -
Lindt is good eats.
Before I joined MFP I was eating at 6500 calories daily. I was gaining a lb every second day, literally. Then, just like you, I joined MFP and that number at the bottom of the diary kinda haunted me. I hated seeing that red number and I would curse myself for going over the calories.
However, if there is one thing I have learned is this. You cannot be perfect everyday. If you ate too much chocolate, well, try to learn that triggered it. Was it something you've been denying yourself for a while and just couldn't ignore it anymore? Was it just lack of planning ahead with foods and because you couldn't find anything you had to chow down whatever was close by? Was just because it was around you and you felt like you had to finish it (my excuse mostly). Learn the triggers, it'll be a learning curve. If you feel you cannot deny things for too long, try to portion control. If you feel you're one of the folks who cannot have anything near them else you will feel the need to finish it, then try to avoid keeping junk at home.
If you do have a bad day, or a bad lunch. Try not to let it ruin the rest of the day or the days to follow. Had a bad lunch? No problem, go outside and workout if you have to but don't try to deny yourself nutrition you were going to get via dinner. Most junk foods have empty calories so you're potentially missing out good nutrition by skipping dinner. Plus you're forming bad habits. Eat a smaller portion of dinner as planned, workout the extra calories. Or, just sleep on it and start over again.
"Falling down is not defeat, its human. Staying down and accepting that you can do nothing is defeat and inhuman."0 -
I know it's easy to say but don't beat yourself up about it as we all go over our allowances every now and then. Try to treat it as a 'special day' and say 'yes, I deserved that today' tomorrow I will be back to the routine,
Everything is good for you in moderation and sometimes we just need to have a day where we don't have to monitor too closely what we eat.
If you are prone to having quite a few 'over' days then it might be worth sticking labels on high fat, high sugar and high salt foods as a visual warning when you just do something without thinking.
Try not to see it as a negative as this will only make you want to eat more.
Good luck.0 -
One of the best advice given to me when I started was that on bad days, instead of cursing yourself, use that energy to learn from the mistake and plan to do better next time0
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you have had so many poeple try and motivate you being both kind and hard and each with I would imagine some results, so I am going to say look back at your success you have lost 2 kg that should be praised, that takes will power, that takes strength, that takes commitmnet, that means you have all these things in abundnace and you will shortly be back on the road to loose eeven more. Some time the only way to motivate is to look back and recognise the journey you have travelled as well as the one to travel. Be brave my friend and you will succeedd, even if at time you need an extra little help form your MFP:)0
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LOL - Oh goodness - be kind to yourself ;-)
Here is a true story - Over easter I ate TWO Lindt milk chocolate bunnies - and it did not even show on my scales!!
Have a nice healthy dinner tonight - and just carry on like normal tomorrow....these things happen - it is what you do next that really matters, and beating yourself up about it does not make any difference to what has happened and only provides bad vibes - thinking happy thoughts is so much better for you!!0 -
I had a bad day myself yesterday but by posting that fact on here I almost instantly lifted. I had some amazing comments and also realized that I wasn't the only one that had bad days.
I overcame it as someone suggested by going for a walk and I did feel much much better after.0 -
Thanks for the replies everyone
I was just so angry at myself, I only ate it because it was there and I knew the use-by was soon and just stupid reasons like that. Then afterwards I felt so so stupid and useless for eating it for such pointless reasons. At least it's proved one thing, I used to eat like that every day (I honestly could go through a block of chocolate a day at my worst point, no idea how I didn't put on more weight than I did), and I felt fine, now I feel a bit unwell after scoffing that bunny, so it's proof my tastes are changing.
It was very very tempting to not log it but I've made myself a promise since I started on here that I will log *everything*, no matter how bad that red number at the bottom of the page is.
I'm very glad I found this site, it really helps to be able to post after silly mistakes like this and get support from others on the same journey. Thank you 0 -
First of all stop calling yourself useless. Stop hating yourself. We are all human and we all like to eat, that is just how it goes. Stop feeling guilty it is an emotion that has no use apart from making us feel terrible. Second of all, have some dinner else you will feel even worse, just have a little bit less.
Yes tomorrow is a new day but if you keep considering yourself useless you will only carry on eating what you don't want to eat. In the grand scheme of things this is not a huge issue, the biggest issue here is the emotions connected to it.
VERY WELL SAID!!0 -
First of all stop calling yourself useless. Stop hating yourself. We are all human and we all like to eat, that is just how it goes. Stop feeling guilty it is an emotion that has no use apart from making us feel terrible. Second of all, have some dinner else you will feel even worse, just have a little bit less.
Yes tomorrow is a new day but if you keep considering yourself useless you will only carry on eating what you don't want to eat. In the grand scheme of things this is not a huge issue, the biggest issue here is the emotions connected to it.
This!
You are not useless. You reached for one of your old coping mechanisms. Time to change, but change doesn't happen overnight.0 -
What you expect, each day to be rainbow and unicorns? Some days are hard. 65g of fat isn't even that bad. You think fat makes you fat or something? That's not true.
I wrote on my profile today about motivation. It's relevant to this topic.
"My view on motivation and weight loss is you really don't need motivation. Sometimes we don't want to go to the gym or eat right. You just have to do it. I argued with myself for 30mins last week about going to the gym, I did go that time. Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose, but we don't stop."
Tings that happen on bad days are,
binging
no results for a while
going over your calories
not sticking your plan.
Missing workouts
etc...
I have been through all of them. I have had bad days, bad weeks, even bad months. Why? Sure i felt hopeless sometimes, I have wondered "what's the point?" i have wondered, "Will i ever reach my goal?' Yet I still lost over 100lbs. I just didn't stop.
Love, love, love this post - I've copied and pasted it where I can refer to it often. Thank you! :flowerforyou:0 -
You are not useless at all! Look at your ticker, you are losing the weight - how is that useless? Don't let this one 'slip' derail you - I read a post on here recently (sorry, I can't remember whose it was) that said something along the lines of: "saying 'I've messed up my eating today, I'll just carry on eating badly' is akin to saying 'I've dropped my phone and cracked it, I'll just stamp on it until it's in pieces'"...that resonated with me, because I beat myself up big-time when I eat something I think I shouldn't have, or I go over calories, or something. I used to just bin the whole effort because of one mess-up, thinking I couldn't do it and I was weak/useless/always going to be overweight, but now...it's just one slip-up, I'll probably still see a loss on the scales, if I just forget about it and move on, business as usual.
Like a pp said, use this to learn, work out what went wrong and why, and use that information to avoid the situation in future. And please don't skip dinner! Maybe have a slightly smaller dinner if that will make you feel better about it, but eat something that is healthy and filling, so you don't end up feeling miserable *and* hungry...that's a recipe for disaster!
*hugs* and chin up...you can do this, you ARE DOING THIS!0 -
No one is useless. You should never say something like that about yourself. If you need people to talk to there are plenty to choose from here. That's what we are here for 0
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What you expect, each day to be rainbow and unicorns? Some days are hard. 65g of fat isn't even that bad. You think fat makes you fat or something? That's not true.
I wrote on my profile today about motivation. It's relevant to this topic.
"My view on motivation and weight loss is you really don't need motivation. Sometimes we don't want to go to the gym or eat right. You just have to do it. I argued with myself for 30mins last week about going to the gym, I did go that time. Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose, but we don't stop."
Tings that happen on bad days are,
binging
no results for a while
going over your calories
not sticking your plan.
Missing workouts
etc...
I have been through all of them. I have had bad days, bad weeks, even bad months. Why? Sure i felt hopeless sometimes, I have wondered "what's the point?" i have wondered, "Will i ever reach my goal?' Yet I still lost over 100lbs. I just didn't stop.
An MFP hero! Words from someone who knows!!!0 -
You're making a mountain out of a molehill. Suck it up, buttercup. Tomorrows a new day.0
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Just throw it up and don't make it a habit of binging.
lmao at least you didnt suggest she run through the town square naked slathered in margarine to burn off the extra calories :drinker:0 -
I think Taunto's advice is fantastic!! Just to add to that, get the junk out of your house, then you won't eat it. That is what I had to do. I even buy things for the kids that they love and I don't like just so that in a weak moment I will not fold and eat it. We all have weak moments. Keep it all into perspective. That was the hardest lesson for me to learn, to jump right back on that horse. If I absolutely crave something, I go out and get it just to get it out of my system, otherwise I will obsess about it until I have it and then I go waaaay overboard. Get the stuff out of your house and walk to the store if you really want something. lol. 0
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Hey, you just had a life experience that allowed you to learn an important lesson. Life has its ups and downs. There is no straight line of awesomeness. Sometimes you're on track and operate according to your expecations, and sometimes you forget or life distracts you and you focus on other things and then you don't focus on your health.
But yeah, I've totally been there myself where afterwards I've gone .. "OMG what I have done!?"
Important point from this whole experience would be.. you can take charge of your decisions right now. Remembering to be healthy and go to the gym etc can be a bit like muscle memory. You got to do it several times before it becomes habit. So just keep at it, keep coming back here to log your calories and it will start to become a part of your daily habits.
Hope you feel better and motivated when you wake up tomorrow :flowerforyou:0 -
I always just say to myself that today was a bad day and i will just carry on with my weight loss tomorrow and put a line under it, we are only human, dont beat yourself up over it,u can make up for it the next day and just carry on loosing weight, if you carry on and dont stop you will loose weight,if you stop you will piut weight on,dont stop,carry on.
I dont put a time limit on my weight loss, i just view it as a working progress, i know i will have bad days and i know i will have good days, i just try to have good days keep doing that and you will be heading towards your goal.
just keep going0 -
i know how you feel. thank you for sharing on the forum, your honesty and the responses it provoked really helped me.
I am still working through similar issues and if you keep going with this site and listening to people who have been through the same thing, you will get through it!!
i gained 60+ pounds this year which is about 6 pounds a month, a little over a pound a week if you break it down. and I was literally eating things like a whole pizza and 4 cupcakes EVERY DAY. i am pretty active since i work in a bakery but if eating around 8000 calories a day only caused me to gain 6 pounds a month i don't think you have anything to worry about one little bunny.
taking a walk to get coffee tomorrow morning just for 40-45 minutes will burn off 2 or 3 bunnys! 0 -
To those who said this should inspire new changes, you're right.
The other Lindt bunny from Easter has been given to my brother.
My 'chocolate stash' (hold over from old bad habits) has been hidden far in the depths of my cupboard where it takes effort to reach rather than 'oh I'll just have a little'.
I will have a small serve of healthy veggies for dinner.
I will stop enabling and sabotaging myself.
I will stop saying 'oh, well I've messed up already, today is a bust, eat all the things!'
I'm getting serious now. No more 'oh it's ok, the chocolate fits into my calories' (which it usually does except today). I won't get anywhere with my lifestyle change if I keep snacking on chocolate and ending up like today.
Today is a wake up call. I have changed some things but not enough. I will still have chocolate, but no more 'secret stash' (I realise how bad that sounds even just typing it).
I am NOT useless. I am learning healthy habits for life. Sometimes we slip up on that learning curve. That's life.0 -
So what you had a chocolate bar!?!? It's not the end of the world! It's not even detrimental. But hating on yourself, skipping nutritious meals and exercizing on poor fuel is. So what you make an unhealthy food choice...just make some healthier ones after it. Eat your balanced meals and excercise out of drive to be healthy...not guilt.
Everyday is a new day. Anyhow its a lifestlye not a diet. Don't deprive yourself of little treats or you wont endure. Moderation is the key of course. Best wishes to you!0 -
What you expect, each day to be rainbow and unicorns? Some days are hard. 65g of fat isn't even that bad. You think fat makes you fat or something? That's not true.
I wrote on my profile today about motivation. It's relevant to this topic.
"My view on motivation and weight loss is you really don't need motivation. Sometimes we don't want to go to the gym or eat right. You just have to do it. I argued with myself for 30mins last week about going to the gym, I did go that time. Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose, but we don't stop."
Tings that happen on bad days are,
binging
no results for a while
going over your calories
not sticking your plan.
Missing workouts
etc...
I have been through all of them. I have had bad days, bad weeks, even bad months. Why? Sure i felt hopeless sometimes, I have wondered "what's the point?" i have wondered, "Will i ever reach my goal?' Yet I still lost over 100lbs. I just didn't stop.
This. Having a lot of personal crap going on and ate 4 bakery cupcakes and ice cream all today. I don't really care and it's the first time I've ever not felt bad. Just keep going. No one said it was gonna be easy. It's worth it.0 -
oh and keep telling yourself you have to eat 3500 calories on top of your normal maintenance calories to gain a pound. You can fit yummy things into your calorie allowance and you can still be healthy doing it!!!0
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see look at all this support! you are not alone!0
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Just throw it up and don't make it a habit of binging.
I sincerely hope you're joking.
OP, don't put yourself down. Your journey to losing weight is NOT going to be linear. You are going to have days where you lose control over what you eat. You are going to have days where you don't go to the gym even though you promised yourself you would. You are going to have weeks where you don't lose, despite being really good, eating and exercise-wise. If you're so hard on yourself every time something like this happens, you're way more likely to give up. Remember that you are human and human beings are not perfect all of the time.
At least some good came out of it! You realised you don't even enjoy mindless binge-eating anymore. Bear that in mind next time you feel like eating something that isn't good for you, really think about why you want to knock yourself down. Is it because you're sad? If so, think long and hard about whether eating will make that better. Are you bored? Find something engaging to do that DOESN'T involve food. Read, go for a walk, call a friend.0 -
What you expect, each day to be rainbow and unicorns? Some days are hard. 65g of fat isn't even that bad. You think fat makes you fat or something? That's not true.
I wrote on my profile today about motivation. It's relevant to this topic.
"My view on motivation and weight loss is you really don't need motivation. Sometimes we don't want to go to the gym or eat right. You just have to do it. I argued with myself for 30mins last week about going to the gym, I did go that time. Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose, but we don't stop."
Tings that happen on bad days are,
binging
no results for a while
going over your calories
not sticking your plan.
Missing workouts
etc...
I have been through all of them. I have had bad days, bad weeks, even bad months. Why? Sure i felt hopeless sometimes, I have wondered "what's the point?" i have wondered, "Will i ever reach my goal?' Yet I still lost over 100lbs. I just didn't stop.
This**0 -
I used to think that way too, have the "all or nothing" mindset But that type of mindset will set you up for failure every time. One mistake, one moment of weakness, whatever you want to call it, doesn't have to turn into another and another. The very fact that you acknowledged you have eaten a whole bunny and that it wasn't the healthiest decision, and then exercising afterwards is a GOOD thing.That's progress, a step in the right direction. Now take another step and EAT dinner and make healthy choices for that meal. This process is a journey, faltering along the way is normal. Instead of beating yourself up psychologically, start righting down how you feel when you eat more than your're supposed to-figure out your triggers. Is it boredom, proximity to unhealthy food, stress, depression, anger, etc?? And come up with healthy alternatives to deal with that trigger. Nobody is perfect. You MUST cut yourself some slack and learn to forgive yourself. Becoming healthier is not just a physical thing, it's also about your mental/emotional health. Those parts of you must be part of the journey as well...0
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you can give up....or you can go on. I say it's that simple....I don't say it's that easy. Falling down, getting up. Welcome to life. You can call yourself useless and set behavior that will keep you on that path, or you can "feel" useless, acknowledge that you are having that emotional response to your behavior, grieve it, put it aside and move forward. This might not be the most comforting thing to hear right now but this isn't the last bad day you're going to have in your life. There are going to be more, a lot more. Sad to say but that's the cold, hard truth. It's not feeling fear that makes one a coward, it's what one does with the fear when they feel it that determines character. It's not feeling useless that makes one useless, it's what you do with that emotion when you feel it that determines what happens next. I know we've all seen the posters a million times but the caption reads:
losing weight is hard
working out is hard
maintaining your weight loss is hard
staying fat is hard
Pick your hard.
We all have those days. Like Pu_239 said, some of us have months like that. I've sat down with a 2 lb bag of chocolate chips, a huge jar of peanut butter and a gallon of milk and it's on like donkey kong. I can live there or get up and practice good eating habits the next day. Because until you die, there is always a "whats next". I mean, is this it? You're giving up? Well, we'll miss you. And I do not say that in a sarcastic or snide way at all. I miss everyone here who gives up. I'm not telling you what to feel. I understand the "feeling" of uselessness. But I don't let it end there. Look, you have an entire network of people here who are willing to support you (good days and bad) no matter how long it takes. Will you take advantage of it? Up to you. Hope you do.0 -
LOL, boy if you were the only one of us who has done that.. MFP would be out of business. Just move on, you are going to stumble in life.0
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