A male friend is eating 600 cals a day.
JupiterJune
Posts: 97
I'm very worried. A friend of mine, also my ex-boyfriend, who started losing weight in the beggining of january, recently told me he eats around 600, at most 700 cals a day. He is 6'2 and weighs over 300 lbs.
I don't want him to feel like I am unsuportive of him. He has lost over 70 lbs and obviously I'm happy for him, but I don't know how to tell him that that's absolutely unsustainable.
We started this together, and he's doing much better than me (well, i only need to lose 20 lbs) so I don't want him to feel like I'm just envious or trying to slow him down, you know?
I don't want him to feel like I am unsuportive of him. He has lost over 70 lbs and obviously I'm happy for him, but I don't know how to tell him that that's absolutely unsustainable.
We started this together, and he's doing much better than me (well, i only need to lose 20 lbs) so I don't want him to feel like I'm just envious or trying to slow him down, you know?
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Replies
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Stay out of it.0
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Stay out of it.
This. When he loses his gallbladder he'll get a clue.0 -
Point him in the direction of this site. Don't say it's because you are worried about him, just tell him it's really useful and hopefully if he reads enough posts hopefully he will realise what he is doing is wrong and unhealthy!0
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You are understandably worried, but it's his body. You could direct him here....is he seeing a doctor? Most people don't like unsolicited advice, so my answer above will save you an argument, unless he specifically aslks for your guidance. He has access to the same info you do. He will do what he wants.0
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When you get to be a certain size and decide to do something about it sustainability isn't necessarily a priority. Sometimes it's more a matter of getting to a healthy weight and then dealing with staying at that weight. I don't know your friend so I can not speak for him but if he's lost 70 pounds that may well be what he is thinking.
Talk to him, ask him what his plans are. Have you discussed with him why he's eating so little? Is he aware of the possible harm he could be doing his body? If you are his friend and you are concerned, then sit down and talk with him.0 -
I have a friend who ate very little. I was concerned/ boggled so I asked in a friendly, non-judgmental manner and found out that they had weight loss surgery and was under a doctor's care. They don't advertise it (nor should they), so I had no idea. But, now I DO know and feel I can support this person better.
So, if it's bothering you that much, ask. You're his friend and the occasional tough love might not be a bad thing.0 -
i disagree with others here. he could have an eating disorder or be on the path to developing one. people of all shapes and sizes have ed's. i'd talk to him and express your concern, nicely!0
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you can only say so much. but let him know that you have to eat atleast 1200 calories a day, people in a coma is feed 1200 calories a day through a tube just to function. your body need feul and if you dont get enough you wont beable to function. since he is over 300 he wants to lose so much at one time but he will kill his insides doing it. also you wont lose weight that way either. there are so many succussfull stories on MFP that people lose weight the right way and dont harm there bodies by eating that low in calories. tell him the info and if that doesnt help then again you can only do so much. good luck on both of your losses0
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My girlfriend did the same thing she was like I am going eat 700 calories a day. I told her that her body is going to go into starvation mode and when and if you stop counting calories you will put weight on twice as fast cause your body will start storing. You can stay out of it but you should tell him his risks in a positive way saying your concerned and you care about him. Hope that helps and I hope he will wake up.0
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You are understandably worried, but it's his body. You could direct him here....is he seeing a doctor? Most people don't like unsolicited advice, so my answer above will save you an argument, unless he specifically aslks for your guidance. He has access to the same info you do. He will do what he wants.
I forgot to mention how stubborn he is and will refuse to get MFP, see a doctor or read any information on weight loss. I've been through all that =/
Well, I still love him very much. I want to actually sit and talk to him and see if he'll listen to me, because he usually does. I just don't know how to start and how to not be too blunt.0 -
When you get to be a certain size and decide to do something about it sustainability isn't necessarily a priority. Sometimes it's more a matter of getting to a healthy weight and then dealing with staying at that weight. I don't know your friend so I can not speak for him but if he's lost 70 pounds that may well be what he is thinking.
Talk to him, ask him what his plans are. Have you discussed with him why he's eating so little? Is he aware of the possible harm he could be doing his body? If you are his friend and you are concerned, then sit down and talk with him.
That's exactly what I feel he's doing. Thanks for your advice.0 -
I had a similar problem recently. A friend at work told me her husband was eating 600 calories a day and that he'd lost loads of weight and was doing really well. I tried telling her (and the rest of the table) that this wasn't healthy or sustainable but it's so hard to tell people what they're doing is unhealthy when they're seeing fast results, they just don't wanna listen. They have usually read some article on the net that suggests this is a good idea and refuses to hear otherwise.
I agree with other posters here, gently point him in the direction of this site if you can, but ultimately, it's his body and his decision, you can't force the issue unfortunately.0 -
You are understandably worried, but it's his body. You could direct him here....is he seeing a doctor? Most people don't like unsolicited advice, so my answer above will save you an argument, unless he specifically aslks for your guidance. He has access to the same info you do. He will do what he wants.
I forgot to mention how stubborn he is and will refuse to get MFP, see a doctor or read any information on weight loss. I've been through all that =/
Well, I still love him very much. I want to actually sit and talk to him and see if he'll listen to me, because he usually does. I just don't know how to start and how to not be too blunt.
Why don't you buy him a weight-loss book? Or if he has a Kindle or similar device buy him an online book. If you think you can sit down and discuss this coming from a place of love, try it.
He is going to protest, so just be ready, and don't get caught up in an argument.0 -
You are understandably worried, but it's his body. You could direct him here....is he seeing a doctor? Most people don't like unsolicited advice, so my answer above will save you an argument, unless he specifically aslks for your guidance. He has access to the same info you do. He will do what he wants.
I forgot to mention how stubborn he is and will refuse to get MFP, see a doctor or read any information on weight loss. I've been through all that =/
Well, I still love him very much. I want to actually sit and talk to him and see if he'll listen to me, because he usually does. I just don't know how to start and how to not be too blunt.
Sometimes being blunt and to the point is a good thing. Just tell him you're concerned and this is why and what do you think about these concerns and is there anything I can do to help.0 -
Stay out of it.
Agreed he is going to learn the hard way unfortunately......0 -
I like the idea of books and coming here. Education is so important! Until I had a plan, I was shooting at a moving target and not getting anywhere.
Maybe even try to tell him about TDEE and calorie deficits? He might not realize that he can loose by eating more than that.0 -
Totally agree.i disagree with others here. he could have an eating disorder or be on the path to developing one. people of all shapes and sizes have ed's. i'd talk to him and express your concern, nicely!
This is a friend of hers, not an MFP associate. An ex-boyfriend who is now a friend.
I think you should talk to him, express your concerns and, like others have said, point him in the direction of MFP.
Good Luck x0 -
Perhaps bring him to this site to see how many calories he should be eating. Letting him know its unhealthy to have a severe deficit like that is okay, but if he continues this trend while having knowledge that he shouldn't, leave him be.0
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Whoa slow down kids.
Instead of jumping on the guy.(through the x-girlfriend.) Take a step back.
The man can actually do 00 calories for a period of time with no long lasting adverse effects. There are tons of fasting programs for cleansing the body that have even fewer calories than that up to 30 days.
What I would say to this young man is that he can sustain this diet for several weeks in order to jump start and cleanse. After that I would suggest upping activity and calories. Create the deficit through exercise.
He is in no immediate danger, and as long as he does not go long term he will be fine.0 -
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another option might be not to mention the calorie thing at all, but mention that if he is on the path to a healthier lifestyle, it might be time to head to the doctor for a check up, blood work, all the things overweight people are supposed to do when making big changes. Mention to him that he might want to tell the Dr what he's be doing to get to this point so far, and ask if the Dr has any recommendations. Totally non-confrontational, nothing for him to get upset about or resent, and when/if the Dr recommends a different course of action, it might be easier for him to accept that advice because it's from a "professional"0
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I would direct him here:
http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/GettingHealthy/FatsAndOils/Fats101/My-Fats-Translator_UCM_428869_Article.jsp
The American Heart Association does not recommend a person eat fewer than 1200 calories per day unless they are an invalid restricted to bed or wheel chair.
Not only will it slow his metabolism and will cause his body to go into starvation mode (his body will start hording calories); it will also destroy his organs. He is only looking at the short term "gains" that are not sustainable. He is technically heading down the path to anorexia. Anorexia can be not eating enough calories not just eating nothing; I do know this; I had anorexia as a teenager fortunately for me my parents were very attuned to what was going on before it went too far. Don't let him continue down this path without help.0 -
How long has he been eating this way? Given he is very over weight he should be able handle a steep calorie deficit better than a leaner individual.
I doubt he'll be able to sustain it for very long unless he develops a full blown eating disorder so he hopefully shouldn't come to any harm.
That said please tell him the bulk of his low intake must come from protein and he should take vitamin supplements.0 -
Stay out of it.
Agreed he is going to learn the hard way unfortunately......
Yeah but as a good friend you should at least express concern and not stand by silently while they harm themselves. If he still refuses to change anything after the talk then there is nothing you can do but at least try to have a discussion with him. Good luck0 -
Whoa slow down kids.
Instead of jumping on the guy.(through the x-girlfriend.) Take a step back.
The man can actually do 00 calories for a period of time with no long lasting adverse effects. There are tons of fasting programs for cleansing the body that have even fewer calories than that up to 30 days.
What I would say to this young man is that he can sustain this diet for several weeks in order to jump start and cleanse. After that I would suggest upping activity and calories. Create the deficit through exercise.
He is in no immediate danger, and as long as he does not go long term he will be fine.
He's been doing that since January apparently.0 -
If he were a girl and wasn't already very overweight, I bet people wouldn't be telling you to "stay out of it." If he's been only eating that much for quite a while now, he could feasibly drop dead any second from heart problems, liver problems and more. It's anorexia if he's been doing this for a prolonged time, whether people believe someone who weighs 300 pounds could be anorexic. And anorexia is a disease that no one gets help for without help from others. I'm not exactly sure what you can do yet since he's an adult, but I don't think your concern is unwarranted or you being a busybody. And it's sad to me that people think so.0
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I find it hard to ignore this. I'm talking about a person I love, that I would consider getting married with and having a family. Please, try to take that in consideration. I know he'll do what he wants, but I just can't stay passive to that.0
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If he were a girl and wasn't already very overweight, I bet people wouldn't be telling you to "stay out of it." If he's been only eating that much for quite a while now, he could feasibly drop dead any second from heart problems, liver problems and more. It's anorexia if he's been doing this for a prolonged time, whether people believe someone who weighs 300 pounds could be anorexic. And anorexia is a disease that no one gets help for without help from others. I'm not exactly sure what you can do yet since he's an adult, but I don't think your concern is unwarranted or you being a busybody. And it's sad to me that people think so.
Thank you very much.0 -
Have you discussed the issue with him?0
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He's been doing that since January apparently.
Then he's in trouble.
Whilst a very short term VLCD made up of mostly protein can be done with minimum harm if supplemented as well, doing so for many months at a time is a very, very bad idea.
You do need to say something. Tell him to read this study:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7223697
If that doesn't scare him into stopping nothing will.
Hopefully he has been under reporting his intake (which is very common) and so is actually eating more than he things he is (fingers crossed.)0
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