Jealous Friends

quasi1983
quasi1983 Posts: 4
in Introduce Yourself
I recently have lost nearly 25 pounds in the past few months. While most of my friends are extremely supportive and encouraging, a select few will make seemingly rude remarks. For instance, they will call me out as "no fun" since I became healthy, and that I need to just eat more of x or y, or drink more alcohol (like they are).
I lost weight after severe stomach acid issues caused tooth decay. I feel great and think I look good, but am having a hard time with some of my old friends. Has anyone else experienced something similar to this?

Replies

  • Asil02
    Asil02 Posts: 261
    I am sorry that you have some friends who are rude and unwilling to be encouraging. Often times, and I don't understand why, people want to bring others down to make themselves feel better. I hope that you are able to just find it in yourself to ignore them as best you can and only focus on the positives. You've come so far and done a great job. Hang in there. Keep your chin up. You're gonna be awesome!
  • AverageAngel
    AverageAngel Posts: 123 Member
    I hear ya. My friends HATE my gluten free choice, and think they are funny when they emphatically devour bread/pizza.. burgers.. etc.. I just figure it is because most people fear the unknown, and the easiest response in defiance, and sarcasm. Be patient. They will get bored with bullying you with their ignorant opinions. Keep on doing what you are doing, and just ignore what they say. It will go away soon! Look how strong you are already to have come this far!!!
  • selig0730
    selig0730 Posts: 509 Member
    just be you and you will lose weight, great job on the loss and hopefully your friends wont be so mean to you, its also ok to have fun once in awhile and have a beer as long as you dont go over your calories for the day or week. and also burn some calories as well. you only live once so while you are trying to lose weight also have fun in your life. this is a journey and lifestyle not a sprint to win
  • EllaNovella
    EllaNovella Posts: 351
    My best friend has been telling me to stop trying to lose weight and that I look fine etc, she shakes her head at me a lot
  • wgn4166
    wgn4166 Posts: 771 Member
    I am always told I am no fun anymore!
  • EllaNovella
    EllaNovella Posts: 351
    Don't stop loving your friends, just stop loving their habits
  • melissapoza
    melissapoza Posts: 11
    Don't let these unfortunate circumstances weigh you down. Just like your topic, it is pure jealousy. Friends should be there to encourage you and not weigh you down. Keep those friends that support you and love you no matter what. You do not need negativity while embarking on your path to a healthier you. People like that will not allow you to move forward in life. Good luck!
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
    YES! I am also a recovering alcoholic and boy the fact that I do not drink myself into oblivion really pisses some people off. What I have come to realize over this last 5 years is that it is not about me, it is the poor reflection of themselves they see in me. So while I am doing what it takes to take care of me, they are not and seeing me makes them realize that.

    What has happened in my case is that those people have tricked out of my life and new ones have trickled in. If I allow those people that feel crappy about themselves make me feel crappy, then that is my fault, not theirs.
  • sneakypackrat
    sneakypackrat Posts: 33 Member
    YES! I am also a recovering alcoholic and boy the fact that I do not drink myself into oblivion really pisses some people off. What I have come to realize over this last 5 years is that it is not about me, it is the poor reflection of themselves they see in me. So while I am doing what it takes to take care of me, they are not and seeing me makes them realize that.

    What has happened in my case is that those people have tricked out of my life and new ones have trickled in. If I allow those people that feel crappy about themselves make me feel crappy, then that is my fault, not theirs.


    ^^^THIS^^^
  • paperducks
    paperducks Posts: 56
    I'm sorry to hear that some of your friends aren't supportive. I had the same issues with a bunch of my friends. You can still go out and have fun without drinking though. I usually order water so I can drink something with my friends. A night out dancing loosens everyone up and they'll probably have fun regardless of whether you drink or don't drink.

    They need to realise that this is a part of you. You're making a lifestyle change and this is who you are now. If they can't accept that then I would reconsider viewing them as your friends.

    By the way, congrats on losing 25lbs! That's absolutely amazing. Maybe your friends are just jealous of how hot you look :wink:
  • gramacanada
    gramacanada Posts: 557 Member
    In general the human race doesn't like change. There are 8 billion people in the world. Don't let 1 ruin your day.:heart:
  • samhigh
    samhigh Posts: 86 Member
    When friends make comments like that, it has more to do with their own issues/self image. Don't sweat it, just do what makes you happy.
  • alarae
    alarae Posts: 263 Member
    I think those people are around for all of us. What is important is you are doing what is right for you! Keep up the good work becoming a healthier you! Those that are mean aren't real friends.
  • XXXMinnieXXX
    XXXMinnieXXX Posts: 3,459 Member
    Time for new friends! x
  • TourThePast
    TourThePast Posts: 1,753 Member
    You need friends who have a more adult idea of what constitutes "fun".

    Raiding the sweetshop (literally or metaphorically) might be the height of fun when you're ten years old, but most people move on from there and develop slightly more sophisticated and interesting pleasures in life than cramming large quantities of often poor quality food or alcohol into their mouths.
  • JulieDillon83
    JulieDillon83 Posts: 15 Member
    I hear ya. My friends HATE my gluten free choice, and think they are funny when they emphatically devour bread/pizza.. burgers.. etc.. I just figure it is because most people fear the unknown, and the easiest response in defiance, and sarcasm. Be patient. They will get bored with bullying you with their ignorant opinions. Keep on doing what you are doing, and just ignore what they say. It will go away soon! Look how strong you are already to have come this far!!!

    My family is vegetarian and like the above (although it probably isn't much of a choice) my friends love a good tease about how "I can't eat meat". The truth is, I've chosen not to and that was makes the difference and I feel good about it. I end up shrugging my shoulders at them and eventually like above they get bored of teasing and move on. It's the reaction they are after. Imagine giving in to their demands and the "high than thou" attitude they'll adopt like "we knew you wanted to... etc". Ignore them and eventually they'll get used to your new and better choices and if they don't...are they really your friends? That's what I'd be asking.
  • flsl
    flsl Posts: 75 Member
    24 pounds. Wow well done! If you need extra friends here to make up for the 'strangeness' of some other friends, we ll support you :-)

    I think your friends will come around in time. It is good to surround yourself with more positive people, whoever they are in the meantime. My aunt has been fabulous. She lost alot of weight herself and knows the struggle and keeps pointing out my weightloss to other relatives, who wouldnt notice.

    In the end, you have done it for v good reasons.
  • missygavin
    missygavin Posts: 1
    Yes!! I had a friend tell me that I was "stupid" for trying to lose a few pounds because I want to look great for my wedding. Nice work, 25 pounds!! You should be VERY proud of yourself! Don't let others bring you down.
  • willy0524
    willy0524 Posts: 1,897
    real friends wouldnt act like that!!
  • RawVeganFlirt
    RawVeganFlirt Posts: 189 Member
    story of my life. i went vegetarian and people made fun of me and waved meat in my face everyday. i went vegan and people stopped asking me to go out to eat. i toned down the drinking pretty much to none, and now they say i'm no fun etc etc. at first it effected me but now i'm glad i stuck with it. those people clearly arent good friends if they don't support me on a journey to good health.

    "those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
  • quasi1983
    quasi1983 Posts: 4
    Thanks- I agree, and that is a great quote, love Dr. Seuss!! it is just funny because I never thought people would react this way. It is hard enough to lose weight, but it is disappointing that people can't be supportive of it, especially when it has to do with health reasons.

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