military question

Jessicaruby
Jessicaruby Posts: 881 Member
in Chit-Chat
this has nothing to do with weight loss but i had a question for people who have been/are in the military...... are your experiences something you dont mind talking about and sharing or are they something you would rather not be broughten up or discussed?


curious......

Replies

  • Cmonnowguys
    Cmonnowguys Posts: 361 Member
    Depends on the experience and the way it is brought up or discussed. I personally don't mind people asking about my experiences being in the military.

    One thing that I admit does get annoying is when people who have never been in the military themselves try to speak on our behalf about how we feel about things, or go about doing things, or what is good/bad for us, etc. I don't think they usually mean any harm by it, but one truly can't understand military culture unless one has served. :)
  • SLE0803
    SLE0803 Posts: 145 Member
    Depends on the experience and the way it is brought up or discussed. I personally don't mind people asking about my experiences being in the military.

    One thing that I admit does get annoying is when people who have never been in the military themselves try to speak on our behalf about how we feel about things, or go about doing things, or what is good/bad for us, etc. I don't think they usually mean any harm by it, but one truly can't understand military culture unless one has served. :)

    ^^^This

    I typically don't mind discussing my military experiences.
  • SomeoneSomeplace
    SomeoneSomeplace Posts: 1,094 Member
    My ex was in the military and he pretty much never talked about what he went through the anyone but the guys from his unit. People simply don't understand what it's like to be over there unless you were. And they all went through the same things. My ex was in the Special Forces back in 2008 in one of the most violent areas at that time. He saw a lot of messed up stuff I'm sure. I never pushed him to talk about it with me just urged him to go to therapy and encouraged him to go out with his "battle buddies" as often as possible.
    I think it can be difficult because sometimes military men (or women) feel the need to be strong and can often suffer in silence, at least my ex did. If your asking this because your BF or husband or someone will not discuss his experiences with you I wouldn't sweat it. Tell him you're there if he DOES want to talk and encourage him to talk to someone he's comfortable talking to.
    But don't push him too much.
  • jcmartin0313
    jcmartin0313 Posts: 574 Member
    I have never served in the military but have worked with numerous current and former armed forces members. I have been told many times by former and retired military members that quite often those who have seen combat to any substantial degree do not like to discuss the details. I have worked with a number of former special operators including SEALS, Rangers and Air Force spec ops people who seemed to follow this and do not speak in great detail about their service. On the other hand, I have been around former military people who bragged about combat exploits and were later found to by grossly exaggerating. Based strictly on what I have been told by people who I know for a fact saw substantial combat in one capacity or another, I tend to doubt anyone who brags or goes on and on about combat exploits but having never served personally I can only base that on what I have been told.
  • Doesntplaynice82
    Doesntplaynice82 Posts: 119 Member
    Military in general or overseas?

    I don't mind talking about stuff, I just hate when people ask "did you kill anyone"
  • loseweightjames
    loseweightjames Posts: 360 Member
    this has nothing to do with weight loss but i had a question for people who have been/are in the military...... are your experiences something you dont mind talking about and sharing or are they something you would rather not be broughten up or discussed?


    curious......

    i dont like talking about it, actually, ... strange question though, why did you ask this? do you or someone you know not like talking about it?
  • loseweightjames
    loseweightjames Posts: 360 Member
    this has nothing to do with weight loss but i had a question for people who have been/are in the military...... are your experiences something you dont mind talking about and sharing or are they something you would rather not be broughten up or discussed?


    curious......

    i dont like talking about it, actually, ... strange question though, why did you ask this? do you or someone you know not like talking about it?

    and while we're on the subject i don't like war movies or games anymore. Old stuff like civil war is ok because i can't relate, but anything after about wwII.... feels uncomfortable....

    and now i feel queasy, ugh.... shouldnt have said anything :-/
  • Jessicaruby
    Jessicaruby Posts: 881 Member
    i asked because i just started talking to a guy who was a ranger in the military. i brought it up and then realized he may not want to talk about it. he said it was fine but he didnt elaborate. i just was curious what others thought because i dont want to make him feel uncomfortable... thanks for all the responses
  • cobracars
    cobracars Posts: 949 Member
    I grew up in the military, but after growing up in it most of my life I elected not to sign up. My opportunity would have been from around late 70's through the 80's.
    My dad was in for close to 30 years, was in Korea and Viet Nam. Was't home much when I was a kid, I mostly remember my childhood as being my mom and brother and sister. He never talked about it when I was younger but now that he's elderly and living with me he will open up once in awhile and tell a few stories. Mostly about interesting missions they had but no gory details or stories about the hardships.

    I think families that go through this for decades will have a different outlook than those that are actively involved for 4 years or so. Not better, just different. You become accustomed to it as a lifestyle versus a period in your life. If your whole military career is an intense 4 year experience you never get to see the other side of military life living stateside and having some normalcy.
  • kzcortes
    kzcortes Posts: 208 Member
    I'd say it depends on the topic.

    If it's just about how was Afghan, what do you guys do on a daily basis, etc. it's really no big deal.

    Once you get into firefights where you lost your friends, the decisions you made that may have cost other Marines' lives, etc. it gets harder to talk about.

    I just wouldn't pry into it too deeply.
  • camrunner
    camrunner Posts: 363
    Well, I haven't deployed, and with my job it's not likely to happen any time soon.

    Chances are I really wouldn't be able to talk about anything I did, anyway. In this forum I really can't even vaguely insinuate what I do, other than "I'm in the Air Force and I sit at a desk."
  • cjc166
    cjc166 Posts: 222
    Usually it makes people uncomfortable to ask if they killed somebody or about if they lost friends. So, those are better questions to leave alone, and wait until that information is offered. Some people it doesn't bother, some it does. Most other things are fair game, especially if it's left open-ended.
  • Fatal1ty2k5
    Fatal1ty2k5 Posts: 333 Member
    I will only talk about down range stuff with other people that have been there.


    Also for anyone that does not realize this, it is not polite when someone tells you they were deployed etc and the 1st question you ask is how many people did you kill. It aint fcking call of duty *****es and I am not going to tell you about it anyways, /rant
  • eziskowski
    eziskowski Posts: 5
    I am a DAV , guess i could handle any question u could pose
  • digitalbill
    digitalbill Posts: 1,410 Member
    this has nothing to do with weight loss but i had a question for people who have been/are in the military...... are your experiences something you dont mind talking about and sharing or are they something you would rather not be broughten up or discussed?


    curious......

    It really depends.
    I mean, while I served, I saw and did a lot of bad things.
    I also saw and did a lot of stupid/funny things.
    Like your new Boyfriend, I also served as a Ranger.
    To give you an idea, my wife and I were married for almost seven years before she even knew that I served in combat. In her opinion, all I ever did in the Army was drink too much and screw with the locals.
    She actually found out about it after speaking with a friend of mine who I served with.
    By that time, she can tell when I start to get uncomfortable with a subject.

    Your boyfriend probably has a lot of funny things he can tell you but, pay attention to his body language. if he even starts to get slightly uncomfortable, change the subject.
    Dinner, cars, whatever.
  • Superbritt2drescu
    Superbritt2drescu Posts: 273 Member
    I usually try to avoid it, just the safest bet. Never know what kinda stupid question someone will ask me.
  • kapzilla
    kapzilla Posts: 84 Member
    I served from 2002 to 2007, and did two combat tours to Iraq. I typically do not talk about my combat tours, but I will talk about the good times.
  • redhousecat
    redhousecat Posts: 584 Member
    yeah, I don't talk about combat stuff.

    But like another poster, war movies and war death topics bug me. And for a long time, FIREWORKS. I couldn't be around fireworks going off.

    But I love talking about the discipline in can instill! That is my favorite part!
  • Cmonnowguys
    Cmonnowguys Posts: 361 Member
    Well, I haven't deployed, and with my job it's not likely to happen any time soon.

    Chances are I really wouldn't be able to talk about anything I did, anyway. In this forum I really can't even vaguely insinuate what I do, other than "I'm in the Air Force and I sit at a desk."

    Twinsies on all accounts! :-X

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