Guys - Advice / Perspective Please

foodfight247
foodfight247 Posts: 767 Member
Ok - I've embarrassed myself enough on here over time....yet I need some advice which some are gonna find amusing.

Right, there's a guy down where I work who up until about 3 weeks ago, had never caught my eye particularly. Tall, dark and handsome is all I can say....swoonworthy girls. Believe me.

Now, during the quiet times at work, you kinda just gawk out the window when you're bored and notice some people who catch your eye, for whatever insignificant reason....well, Mr Handsome, kinda started getting my attention. Everytime, I looked down in his direction he was there or looking at me and looking away...blah de blah...It got to the point I thought I'd just see where this was gonna go, reading a bit on body language and trying to work him out...He's a quiet guy who never really speaks to that many people, yet has that confident, slightly "I'm the man" kinda look about him. Egotistical I guess. I'm handsome, yes, I know it attitutude.

Anyways, I've been giving him the eye which has been reciprocated...caught him looking so often, little smiles etc...he's just always there....so, we have eachothers attention in some silent way - I never speak to this guy. There was one day, when I thought, sod it (spare of the moment). Walking up the hill to my car, him behind me. Heard a scuffle of a foot on path, turned round and saw someone else, then caught sight of him behind me. Did a double take and this was when I thought sod it. I turned round walking backwards up the hill and totally checked him out to which he was bemused and smiling and biting his lower corner lip etc. Oh yeh, He knew. In fact I apologised directly to him the following day. Said I was in the wrong. He was a little embarrassed and did this little chuckle. And to mention that when he noticed me waiting to apologise, he did the old eyebrow flick and then casually said, hi, what can I do for you. (hmm, now).

For the following three work days, he was hovering down in my corner of the shopping precinct, doing his slow, strutting stuff, as you guys do...finally, stopping outside my shop on day 3 and totally did a half smile and a sidewards glance into the shop to see if i was looking - yes I was. lol. That's the closest he's got without speaking to me.

Now this is where it gets tricky. Up to that point, I had his attention, oh yes. However, I mentioned to someone that I'd been trying to work him out with his body language and this twirp has said something to him. Totally sure of it. As Mr handsome has been acting strange for the past few days. I'm also sure I overheard him say something on his phone to a friend like...you know that little chick I was telling you about down at work, found out she's been reading body language and reckons I've been flirting.

Anyways, seems to be avoiding me now...BUT I'm still being looked at - glances here and there....he even went right by my window with a bit of a stare but a smile with the corners of his mouth.....hmm...not sure.

I sooo didn't say to this third person that I reckoned he was flirting back....yep, I definately had his attention and that was mentioned. His response was we were as bad as each other...lol

Sooo.....I've blown it...that nice silent little bit of innocent friendly fun time.....or have I? What would you think as a guy? Ladies, your thoughts?

How do I rectify this without speaking directly? I was enjoying my bit of fun and I'm sure it would have carried on if nothing had been said about body language.

I think a few other people had come to notice some eye contact between us aswell, as a few of the girls have been huddled together. Sure I heard one of them say "what, him from xxxxxxx" . think they've been trying to see it in action during their cigarette breaks. lol.

Anyways, embarrassing as it is. What the hell do I do now?

Replies

  • YouAreTheShit
    YouAreTheShit Posts: 510 Member
    At this stage I would recommend one of two things....

    1) Totally ignore him and become disinterested. Don't let him catch you looking and don't notice when he's looking. You'll know soon enough if he truly continues to be interested.

    2) Go talk to him and ask him to have a drink with you after work sometime.

    Preferably #2. But you may not be ready to do that quite yet...

    Oh, and #3...

    3) Don't share your thoughts with nitwits at work anymore...
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
    Cliff notes? TL;DR
  • foodfight247
    foodfight247 Posts: 767 Member
    Cheers KC. Number 1 will most likely happen. I get too nervous around him otherwise, unless I have that sod it moment. I don't get why I get so nervous. Guess I just find him too attractive and mysterious. There's something there though even if its just a bit of friendly discreet fun on the side.

    Thing is, I'm bloody sure he knows what he's been up to aswell so to get a bit niggled by finding out about the body language part is a bit silly, in my view. Or have I got you guys wrong? lol. If I was a bloke, I'd think, clever there. Sadly, It's kinda taken the fun out of it. He now has an opportunity to totally abuse that knowledge which is kinda what I fear.

    But I'll just carry on as usual and not give him as much attention. Must admit, this other guy (I'm not interested) has been paying me a lot of attention which he's noticed and he didn't half give him a cold long stare as he passed by the other day....Walking extremely slowly - deliberate of course.

    He knows what he's doing....and I can't help but look. lol. he is soooo droolsworthy. Dresses smart, shirt and tie, tattoos down one of his arms....sooo wanna talk to him. Nice upper body too...lol. He waved the other day at someone else but I couldn't help but smile when he raised his arm high above his head to wave - those muscles! Goddam it!

    Anyway, thanks for the reply. Guess time will tell. lol
  • Topsking2010
    Topsking2010 Posts: 2,245 Member
    A real man goes after what he wants!! This eye contact game is childish!!
  • Hendrix7
    Hendrix7 Posts: 1,903 Member
    If you like him just give him your number, is it so complicated?
  • tumblyweed
    tumblyweed Posts: 416 Member
    I think I'l have to agree with KC. Fun game. Sloooow cardio... The chase is so much fun. It's why I think cats and mice secretly love each other. No one would ever spend so much time stalking if the chase wasn't so ...delicious.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    Mist...I'm going to tell you from experience (you know what I'm talking about) to stop thinking about all of this and relax. A guy who is interested will approach you. If you don't want to wait, politely and without obvious pressure...make a point to talk to him, see how it goes. If he STILL doesn't express interest...it's because he's not interested. Even the most socially awkward man can send signals when the woman he's interested in is approaching him and speaking to him directly.

    Dancing around leads to confused signals and on your part, expectations of returned feelings.

    That's bad.

    Good luck..but from all you've said...I'd suggest finding another mouse to play with hun.
  • magj0y
    magj0y Posts: 1,911 Member
    At this stage I would recommend one of two things....

    1) Totally ignore him and become disinterested. Don't let him catch you looking and don't notice when he's looking. You'll know soon enough if he truly continues to be interested.

    2) Go talk to him and ask him to have a drink with you after work sometime.

    Preferably #2. But you may not be ready to do that quite yet...

    Oh, and #3...

    3) Don't share your thoughts with nitwits at work anymore...

    ^^this.
  • trojanbb
    trojanbb Posts: 1,297 Member
    Ask him out. Or don't and move on. Either one.

    and stop worrying about why he hasnt approached you directly. There could be dozens of different reasons why he hasn't been direct and it does sound like he is interested.
  • trojanbb
    trojanbb Posts: 1,297 Member
    Mist...I'm going to tell you from experience (you know what I'm talking about) to stop thinking about all of this and relax. A guy who is interested will approach you.

    This is not true for many, many guys. And it sounds like this guy in question is one of them.
  • foodfight247
    foodfight247 Posts: 767 Member
    Ok...thanks everyone. In all seriousness, its just been a little bit of fun at work on both sides. I guess the moral of the story being, don't blab to "nitwits" and don't expect anything. Which actually I'm not really other than just to get to talk to the guy. Even if it was through a little bit of fun icebreaker. lol.

    I'll see what happens, otherwise I'll take it as not interested which is fine.

    Thanks.

    @Cris...you know me too well. lol. The only reason why its on my mind is because I hope I haven't pissed him off. He's been interested, if not at least amused by it all as he's definately being sending back the same signals. Been subtle but fun, otherwise, he wouldn't have been hanging around most recently. I don't view men as mice btw, LOL! But I know what you're saying.

    @Tumblyweed.....stalking? There's definately been no stalking on either side. But the catch (if ever) is definately worth it. LOL.

    Oh, and the eye contact game, is actually quite fun when done right....;-) even innocently so, as it was initially. Check mate can bring a smile to both people involved.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    Mist...I'm going to tell you from experience (you know what I'm talking about) to stop thinking about all of this and relax. A guy who is interested will approach you.

    This is not true for many, many guys. And it sounds like this guy in question is one of them.

    If you noticed...there was a lot more I posted. You sort of cut me off half statement there.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    @Cris...you know me too well. lol. The only reason why its on my mind is because I hope I haven't pissed him off. He's been interested, if not at least amused by it all as he's definately being sending back the same signals. Been subtle but fun, otherwise, he wouldn't have been hanging around most recently. I don't view men as mice btw, LOL! But I know what you're saying.

    Misty...if the guy was interested, and he found out from someone else that you were interested. He would NOT be making snarky comments to someone else about you on the phone.

    If I were interested in a girl, and a friend told me she'd been researching ANYTHING on me...I'd be thrilled, not making sarcastic phone calls to other friends.

    I do agree with Trojan though...you should just go talk to him. The last thing you want is a long, drawn out affair where you're seeing signals that may not be there...only to have it fall apart when you finally find out that those signals were seriously misconstrued. You know exactly what I'm saying here. Better to have it out in the beginning so as not to confuse things.
  • trojanbb
    trojanbb Posts: 1,297 Member
    @Cris...you know me too well. lol. The only reason why its on my mind is because I hope I haven't pissed him off. He's been interested, if not at least amused by it all as he's definately being sending back the same signals. Been subtle but fun, otherwise, he wouldn't have been hanging around most recently. I don't view men as mice btw, LOL! But I know what you're saying.

    Misty...if the guy was interested, and he found out from someone else that you were interested. He would NOT be making snarky comments to someone else about you on the phone.

    If I were interested in a girl, and a friend told me she'd been researching ANYTHING on me...I'd be thrilled, not making sarcastic phone calls to other friends.

    I do agree with Trojan though...you should just go talk to him. The last thing you want is a long, drawn out affair where you're seeing signals that may not be there...only to have it fall apart when you finally find out that those signals were seriously misconstrued. You know exactly what I'm saying here. Better to have it out in the beginning so as not to confuse things.

    Yes, find out now rather than later. The guy could be married and just trying to steal a few glances for all we know.
  • sdereski
    sdereski Posts: 3,406 Member
    At this stage I would recommend one of two things....

    1) Totally ignore him and become disinterested. Don't let him catch you looking and don't notice when he's looking. You'll know soon enough if he truly continues to be interested.

    2) Go talk to him and ask him to have a drink with you after work sometime.

    Preferably #2. But you may not be ready to do that quite yet...

    Oh, and #3...

    3) Don't share your thoughts with nitwits at work anymore...

    Agree.
  • foodfight247
    foodfight247 Posts: 767 Member
    At Cris and Trojan...This guy is in a relaltionship. Didn't stop him from looking my way tho. lol.

    Just gonna leave this one to just iron itself out and take it that he's just been playing mind games with the level of attention etc. Cris, you're right, as ever, he isn't that interested otherwise he would have approached me. Which is obvious that he wouldn't given he's in a relationship. He obviously ain't after friending me either....otherwise again, he would have joked about or even at least said hi in passing. Unless, it's the whole part of the mind game he's playing. Both as bad as each other maybe. lol.

    And this guy is definately not that shy, shy yes, but not shy enough. lol. To be honest, I think it's just been a bit of amusement on both sides. I should approach him laughing, and say, yep you got me, you've had your fun and so have I. Yes I like you but I know the score. Quits, but at least say hi or something in passing.
    Hopefully this may break the ice into acting normal instead of just playing silly games. I feel like I have to say something to him now just to at least let him know, that I know it's all been in jest. Which has actually been the case....Just perhaps with a little bit more feeling on my part, hate to say it.

    He is freakin hot tho! LOL. I can't help but look. Cris....self discipline...I may need another lesson hun! haha.
  • AlphamaleBAMF
    AlphamaleBAMF Posts: 373 Member
    Anyways, embarrassing as it is. What the hell do I do now?

    Approach him during your break. Smile and say "I want you inside me. NOW"
  • clee369
    clee369 Posts: 101 Member
    Ultimate troll
  • foodfight247
    foodfight247 Posts: 767 Member
    Anyways, embarrassing as it is. What the hell do I do now?

    Approach him during your break. Smile and say "I want you inside me. NOW"

    LOL! Don't tempt me! hahaha. The look on his face would be an absolute framed picture moment. The gobsmacked look of pure "WTF"! before his chuckle of "oh ****, get the eff away from me" moment haha! Niiiccee. Teach him a lesson for daring to play with me.

    In fact, I definately will be chuckling to myself when I go see him tomorrow....thinking of this.

    WTF - what would YOU do Alphamale, if some chick came up to you and said that, if you were indeed not that interested?
  • foodfight247
    foodfight247 Posts: 767 Member
    Ultimate troll

    Ah, hun.....not a troll! T'is true to my embarrassment and humiliation....yes. But....not a troll. :laugh:
  • foodfight247
    foodfight247 Posts: 767 Member
    At least, I can laugh at myself with everyone else, when I fck up in a silly big time way.
  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
    Cliff notes? TL;DR

    ^
  • avir8
    avir8 Posts: 671 Member
    A real man goes after what he wants!! This eye contact game is childish!!
    So True, move on to a man who can be straight with you
  • Il_DaniD_lI
    Il_DaniD_lI Posts: 1,593 Member
    My advice.. you are hugely over thinking this. Stop.
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    sounds like maybe he's just not that into you. Talk to him and then you will know for sure......You can either pursue it at that point or decide to walk away.
  • Dan112358
    Dan112358 Posts: 525 Member
    (Sort of) read this thread. Feeling pretty happy to be married right now.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    My advice.. you are hugely over thinking this. Stop.

    Dani FTW...as usual :).
    (Sort of) read this thread. Feeling pretty happy to be married right now.

    Lucky *kitten*!!

    Oh and Misty? Why didn't you mention him being in a relationship in the original post??
  • foodfight247
    foodfight247 Posts: 767 Member

    Lucky *kitten*!!

    Oh and Misty? Why didn't you mention him being in a relationship in the original post??

    Gah...you got me on that one. Lol. Because i had a hunch but only just had it confirmed. Have to say, I've avoided looking at him ALL DAY. Got the odd little glance BUT he's been looking towards my corner on both of those times, I glanced over.
    Anyway, didn't get chance to speak to him today to put the record straight to avoid any possible tension. Worried he thinks I've been creeping him out. But then why is he STILL looking towards my corner?

    Anyway, upshot is, I aint gonna carry on batting my eyelashes towards his direction, given he's in a relationship - certainly don't wanna cause any trouble. Also I really do think that he's probably just been humouring me in his own playful way back.

    I have enough going on at home without more problems.

    You know me Cris.....Always the fool.
  • Iceman1800
    Iceman1800 Posts: 476
    And women say men are dense....just go ask him out. It's just that simple. Men don't get hints or clues. Be direct and ask him out.
  • foodfight247
    foodfight247 Posts: 767 Member
    And women say men are dense....just go ask him out. It's just that simple. Men don't get hints or clues. Be direct and ask him out.

    You obviously didn't read the comment about him being in a relationship....lol. No can do. But will be speaking with him. :smile: