Self Esteem

Ok, a few things that generally help:

Set yourself goals that are not to do with physical appearance. Appearance to yourself is subjective. What you need are objective goals that you can achieve. So for instance:

1. Walking somewhere you'd usually drive to
2. Choosing the healthy option where you would normally not
3. Hitting your calorie guidelines
4. Managing to work out 3/4/5 times a week (remember, rest IS important too)
4. Doing X minutes of cardio
5. Lifting X amount of weight at X exercise for X repetitions

Some people like to set lots of small goals that progressively build up towards a bigger goal, like running a 5k or something.

The key thing is:

The more you focus on these micro-goals whilst continuing to eat well, the more that your subjective goal of looking better to yourself will be achieved without you realising it, and the more mini goals you achieve, the more motivated and enthusiastic you'll become.

As the old saying goes, every marathon starts with a single step

Oh - and an important one:

Everyone (and I mean everyone) comes off the wagon at some point. Either they fail to do X exercise, or can't find the time to do a session on a certain day, or has a bad day and wants to eat something that isn't entirely healthy...

...The important thing is not to beat yourself up about it. You are the person in control, you know if you stray from the path on one day that really it's just 1 day, and you make up for it. You don't go beating yourself up about it and making yourself feel worse, which will make you stray from the path further and further.

Everyone has those 'fail' days - it's how you get back on the right track that's more important. And getting back on the right track when you've had a bad day? That's a success in itself.

Here are some things I try to do to boost my confidence;

1. Buy a new pair of shoes or just walk around in pair you love. No matter how bloated your tummy feels or how many biscuits you just ate, I find that a nice pair of shoes/heels always make me feel more confident! And when you're 3 inches taller, you can't help but hold your head just a little bit higher! :drinker:

2. Pamper yourself! Turn your bathroom into a mini spa. Get some aromatherapy oils and scrubs and let the toxins leave your body. If you can afford it, get a nice massage. This always clears my head.

3. Watch a good movie. When you're feeling down, its always easy to grab the sob-flick and really lay on the self-pity. But its just as easy to put in a good comedy and really laugh! Laughing releases so much negative energy. After a good laugh, its hard to remember why you were so down sometimes.

4. Remember that you cannot have perfect weight-loss days. There will be days when you eat the biscuits or shovel in the ice cream. It is going to happen because you are human! One thing I really like to do when I'm having a monster craving. I get all dressed up, do my hair nice, put on an outfit I get a lot of compliments in, and go to a restaurant by myself. I order a coffee and pick one lavish dessert to have. And yes, its normally a bajillion calories. But, first of all, I know I wont splurge too much because I simply cant afford it! Second of all, after its done, guess what? You still look fabulous and you got to have a real treat for yourself. Not sitting in your home, on the couch, in your pjs stuffing your face with crap. I don't suggest doing this every day or anything, but it is kind of fun! :drinker:

Have you ever been screened for depression. I find there is a huge mind-body connection tied to success in life. Be it weight loss or anything else, if your thinking is negative, the outcomes usually are too.

Google "Burns Depression" and "Burns Anxiety" checklist. If you score in the moderate range for either, I suggest you make an appointment with your doctor to discuss it.

These things work for me:

1. First thing for me is stop the internal voice in my head, you know, the one that tells me that I'm fat, stupid, ugly etc. I tell it firmly that I am amazing and I can do anything I want to do.

2. I find reading books on Self Esteem helps. I like Gayle Lyndenfield and Susan Hayes. There is also a great book by Susan Jeffers called "Feel the Fear and do it Anyway". That really helped. Her website is here http://www.susanjeffers.com/home/index.cfm . Getting daily positive quotes delivered to my mailbox helped.

3. Do something you love that does involve food. Go for a walk in a beautiful garden, phone a friend that you haven't spoken to in a while, draw, dance...whatever it is that you love do it!

4. Make some time for YOU every day. I know it is hard when you have kids but just 15 mins of head space just for you can work wonders.

5. Get rid of any negative people in your life. They are energy vampires and will drag you down. You don't need them in your life.

6. Don't be so harsh in your judgement of yourself. Would you be so hard on a friend as you are on yourself? Very unlikely.

7. Don't keep it bottled up, talk to people that you trust.

Hope this helps. Message me any time if you need to talk xx

Totally agree with all of the suggestions!
Especially the pampering, dvd's - you time, to do the things you enjoy and that ,ake you feel good, dont do anything you dont want to do! this is key!

I absolutely can say with hand on heart that we all go through these times.
I had an awful 3- 4 weeks when i just felt depressed recently, no real reason, and felt really helpless. I hated it when I was going through it, and wanted so much to 'fix' whatever it was that was causing it, but feel so much better now, and am glad i just kind of rode it out.

Another thing I find really useful at times like this, as well as just letting things happen, is to step outside yourself, and just look and understand the whole situation as an outsider, not judging on appearance, but to just be kinder to yourself! as you would is you saw a friend in the same situation. be your own best friend. You know, sometimes life has a way of sending tests your way and there is nothing you can do to avoid it, but it is your perspective on a situation that if sometimes shifted just a few inches, can make all the difference something which always stays with me is the phrase:
"It is always darkest before dawn"

Hugs to you and know that it will get better, though something has to change (not neccesarily in a massive way!) , as your body and mind is telling you that, in a roundabout and annoying way, try and tune in xx

I've struggled with low self-esteem all of my life. I was also diagnosed with clinical depression in high school and began seeing somebody. It helps having a neutral party to talk to and help figure out how to fix the problem.

I will tell you a method I follow with some success -

I assume I will binge (comfort seeking behaviour)
I prepare a list of fuods that I love asmuch as I love meat and burgers
I found that the list included some healthy foods along with a lot of unhealthy ones.
I binge on the healthy foods and have them stocked - like Tuna and grams

I am sure that there are *some* foods you would like to binge on which are healthy. Just find them!