Stay at home moms.

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follmer20
follmer20 Posts: 129 Member
in Chit-Chat
Okay. Ive been a SAHM for a year now. I have 2 kids, a 3 year old and a 6 month old. I'm not sure if I like not working, and I kinda feel bad because my boyfriend works 12 hr days for 28 days straight so I could be a SAHM. Then he has 2 weeks off. I don't like not having something to do. Idk how to tell him because every time I try to talk to hi, it makes him feel bad. I like staying home with my kids but I get bored very easily. Is this normal? Am I think only SAHM that feels this way? Should I get a PT job or not? Its always on my mind. Idk what to do and it drives me crazy sitting at home. I live atleast 30 minutes from anything so going to the park is a drive away. Idk what to do. Any other SAHMs that feel like this and what do you do? At times I wish he worked a normal job with normal hours and he was here with us, but when he's home for his 2 weeks, it's like heaven. Anyone?

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  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
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    Stop sitting. Run around the house if you don't have a yard. Read to your children. Start teaching them to read. Play games with them. Sing songs with them. Draw pictures and color with them. Learn some new crafts. Learn a new language.

    PM me for more stuff to do when you have exhausted this list.

    PS I live on a ranch that is two hours away from the nearest Wal-Mart, and have been a SAHM for over eighteen years--just sent my oldest to college.
  • sathor
    sathor Posts: 202 Member
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    get you BA/BS or Masters online, it takes a while, and works well. Many universities have entire online programs, and financial aid applies if you qualify. If nothing else, you 'did something' with that down time, and will make you feel better.

    I am starting my masters from SNHU.edu next month, and will be done about the time my youngest is in school all day. If you chat with one of the admission people on the website, they sometimes wave the application fee if you get the application in within 24 hours. Of course, if you find a program in your home state, it will be far cheaper, even if Fin Aid covers it all.
  • trophywife24
    trophywife24 Posts: 1,472 Member
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    I've been a stay at home mom for a year, too. I started to stay home with the kids after we relocated. I left a job that I truly loved but we wanted to move so..
    That being said, do you have friends? Do you have friends with kids? Do you have a support system?
    It can be a really lonely, boring job. It just is. Little kids (mine are 5 and 2) do the same thing every day and it's honest to God like living in that movie Groundhog Day. My husband works 12+ hour days as well but usually has off two days/week.
    I take the kids out a lot, we go to the park, to the aquarium, go to the beach, go to the pool, go to play places... heck we'll even go to CFA for lunch to play in the play place... anywhere they get to be KIDS. When they get to use all of their energy, we're all a lot happier. We can't stay in the house all of the time, that makes things so much worse.
    One thing that I need is a lot of ME time to keep myself grounded. I go to the gym, go out and about after the kids go to bed at night. I keep my own hobbies and interests, what do you like to do? Its ok to not want to be in mom mode 24/7. Anything that you feel is totally normal. I waffle with working again but I can't seem to find a way to justify daycare costs when it's just because I want to work, not because I have to.
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
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    So what if anything is "a drive away"? I live an hour away from everything around me. That doesn't stop me from going any where. Drive the 30 minutes to the park and take your kids there. You'll meet other moms who are more than likely in the same situation as you and possibly make friends with them. Your kids can go on play dates and you can hang out with the parent.
  • tat2dmrsgrimm
    tat2dmrsgrimm Posts: 226 Member
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    Play with your kids. My 3 1/2 year old loves for me to "chase" her around the house and then "catch" her and tickle her. When the wee one naps, pop in an exercise video. My kids like to "do" them with me. I am a stay at home, homeschooling mom and even though homeschooling was not my original plan, I love my life. Can't imagine doing it another way!
  • heddylyn
    heddylyn Posts: 173 Member
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    Hi! I've been a stay at home Mom for a little over 5 years. I have two kids ages 5 and 2. It was a big adjustment for me to go from working full time to being at home. I had a major identity crisis! Don't get me wrong, I feel very fortunate that I am able to be home with them while they're little and growing and changing so fast but it can get to be very lonely. The thing that really saved me was finding a local MOM's club in my area. The group I found is catered specifically to Stay at Home Moms so I was able to meet several women that I had something in common with. Most of them are women that worked full time until they started having kids and have been fortunate enough to be able to leave the work force for awhile to be with their kids. Being a stay at home Mom is one of the hardest things in the world and it can become very isolating but it doesn't have to be! I'm not sure where you live but you could also see if there are any programs in the area that you can sign your kids up for. I have found music classes, gymnastics swimmimg, t-ball, etc. Also, here is a link the the MOM's Club that I am a part of. You can check to see if there is a chapter in your area. It's a great way to meet some like-minded people and not feel so isolated! http://www.momsclub.org/ Best of luck to you! Whatever you decide to do will be the right decision for you. :smile:
  • sharpeoplepc
    sharpeoplepc Posts: 84 Member
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    I have known other Moms that feel the same way as you. I have been a SAHM for 8 years. My kids are both in school now and I am still home. I have always been busy, busy, busy and never bored. Join a playgroup. Create some structure in your day. Invite other Moms over to have coffee and a playdate. If you need to find other SAHM's go to Meetup.com and find a group.
  • DJJW
    DJJW Posts: 519 Member
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    I'm a SAHM for 7 years, I'm never bored, there is too much to do. I'm surprised you don't feel the same way, by the time I have everything done, and kids are playing on their own I have a list of "me time" stuff I'm excited to get to.
  • sharpeoplepc
    sharpeoplepc Posts: 84 Member
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    I have known other Moms that feel the same way as you. I have been a SAHM for 8 years. My kids are both in school now and I am still home. I have always been busy, busy, busy and never bored. Join a playgroup. Create some structure in your day. Invite other Moms over to have coffee and a playdate. If you need to find other SAHM's go to Meetup.com and find a group.

    Sorry, I didn't mean to be preachy. My point is that if you are busy, you can't be bored.
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
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    ...it's honest to God like living in that movie Groundhog Day.

    This made me laugh. XD

    I think a lot of SAHM's have days where they wish they'd have some company other than the kids or that they'd be better productive if they have a job. I've been a SAHM for 6 years. Working out the finances, it doesn't make sense for me to get a job because the daycare costs would completely demolish anything that I make. I'm hoping to find something I can do at home that may bring some money into our household, a hobby of sorts that I can eventually sell on Etsy. I have a few things in mind. =)

    If you feel like a job would better benefit you and your family, I'd say go for it.
  • trophywife24
    trophywife24 Posts: 1,472 Member
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    Play with your kids. My 3 1/2 year old loves for me to "chase" her around the house and then "catch" her and tickle her. When the wee one naps, pop in an exercise video. My kids like to "do" them with me. I am a stay at home, homeschooling mom and even though homeschooling was not my original plan, I love my life. Can't imagine doing it another way!

    I'm a homeschooler, too. It was never part of my "vision" with having kids but we have a lot of fun. :)
  • eyestylemom
    eyestylemom Posts: 107 Member
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    I can only speak for myself, but yes I have had moments like that. I have 2 boys and I have been home for almost 4 years. And there were moments that I thought I should look for a PT job. And then I would think about the moments that I will miss with my kids if I was working or someone else was watching them and that moment was gone. :) What I have found is that when I have those moments, it helps tremendously to talk to other SAHMs. They get it. And you feel revived after talking with them.

    Yes, there are many things you can do at home with the kids. The dollar store has so many activities like coloring books and crayons and puzzles for so cheap. You can friend me if you want. I can tell you the stuff I do with my kids.
  • valmb2
    valmb2 Posts: 41 Member
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    bump to comment on later.
  • deshannonhatala
    deshannonhatala Posts: 16
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    :0
  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
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    Yep, the movie Groundhog Day just about covers it with toddlers sometimes...they are teeny, little slaves of habit, aren't they?
  • trophywife24
    trophywife24 Posts: 1,472 Member
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    Yes. Yes they are, lol :)
  • nursevee
    nursevee Posts: 344 Member
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    It's somewhat offensive to assume that just because she's bored that she doesn't play with her kids, get creative or do things.' I do all of that with mine, have been a SAHM for two years whilst my husband was training and deployed and am now getting back into work because I'm simply not cut out to enjoy staying at home.' I appreciate that some people love this life, enjoy homeschooling and whatever else. It's not reflection on my kids but I enjoy the challenges of my work, prefer to balance and evenly distribute the work load and share the financial responsibilities. My kids are at school full-time so this is less of an issue for me now but if I have another child chances are after the first six months that I will go back to work.

    OP, I suggest looking into the expense of childcare. If it works out in your favor financially then perhaps a PT job would give you the balance of work/home life that you want.
  • XFitMojoMom
    XFitMojoMom Posts: 3,255 Member
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    SAHM too - I was bored to death by the infant & toddler years. Now I have a first grader, and pre-k. It's a lot more fun, engaging, busy... but I cannot wait to have both kids in school full time so I can get a job.
    We are financially successful and I don't "need" a job, but can certainly use one for my sanity.
  • krim12
    krim12 Posts: 102
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    Honestly some days I hate it and other days i couldn't imagine having to get all 4 ready and out the door early in the am. I would get a job in a heart beat if i had someone to get my oldest off the bus.

    I play with my kids and clean my house all the time and workout during nap time and i love playing with my kids but it gets old when we are trying to save money and i am stuck at the house.

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